Update: He Ghosted Me and Now Is Reaching Out Again


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This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lane 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #773754 Reply

    Jane

    I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about my ex ghosting me after talking and hooking up for a couple of months. He blocked me on everything. Today he called me and unblocked me on everything and added me back. Everyone in my last post said he would come crawling back. I didn’t believe them. Now that he is, I am so confused. Why is he playing these games? What was the point of blocking me to just unblock me and try to reenter my life as if nothing happened? Anyone else been in this kind of situation before? What did it end up like?

    #773755 Reply

    Raven

    You do not have to let him back in…

    #773756 Reply

    Kirstie

    I can only speculate so I’d suggest you ask him. If you can be bothered. In my experience it’s better to look forwards than backwards, particularly with relationships, as they tend to end for a reason, and unless that reason is clearly resolved by both parties, it doesn’t go away, but resurfaces at a later date.

    #773757 Reply

    Becky

    I just re-read your previous thread and I see you didn’t respond to the advice given. You had a FWB situation after a relationship and many people wrote how in this situation people can come and go. The best advice to read right now-in my opinion- from that thread is Lane’s. Do not allow him to return at all. He’s contacted you again because you’ve allowed him to return in your life even though he doesn’t deserve a place in your life. Now it’s your turn to block him- he does not have your best interest in mind, he has his.

    #773758 Reply

    Better off single

    It didn’t work out with the other woman he blocked you for. If this guy is important in your life stop the sex and just be friends or tell him you want a commitment out of him this time because you’re tired of being the fall back girl and all the uncertainty. You’re human. you have feelings. You are not a sex toy.

    Can you trust this guy to stay loyal?

    #773759 Reply

    Paige

    because the woman he was going after doesn’t want him, and now he’s coming to you as a last resort. this happens so much, im honestly shocked that women haven’t caught on yet.

    #773760 Reply

    Ianthe

    You say he called, what did he say?

    No way should you entertain this guy again! In fact, I would have blocked HIM way before now, not to mention NOT answering the call. Blocking you out of the blue like that was awful!

    Agree with the others-whoever he blocked you for didn’t work out with her.

    #773766 Reply

    Meredith

    I agree with previous comment. The woman he blocked you for dumped him. So he is coming back to his second choice- you. He’s been rejected & feels lonely.

    Maintain your self-respect and dont let him back into your life. When someone else comes along he fancies, he will ghost & block you again.

    This happens so often with men. But women stay emotionally attached even after they’ve been dumped.

    Walk away now.

    #773784 Reply

    vanessa

    He probably realize that the grass in not greener on the other side as he thought, it wouldn’t have work out with the other girl he was with so now he is coming back

    #773842 Reply

    Hs

    Men come back for one of a few reasons. Mostly he hasnt had sex in a while or it didnt work out with the women he’s been dating and now wants an ego fluff

    Seldomly because he realized his mistake and really does want you back

    Its very easy to distinguish between the 2. Tell him you want to start over from scratch. No sex, actual dates leading to a commitment before sex is even an option. The first 2 will disappear again. The 3rd will put in the work and earn your trust back

    But before you do, you now have a very important piece of information about him. He’s cold and callous and cruel. He discarded you like trash once. He has it in him. He can do it anytime again

    Is this really the man you want for yourself?

    #773845 Reply

    anon

    My advice, play along. Make a plan for you to go to him. Go to him for lots of fun and OMG, so excited to see you my handsome sweet man. I can’t wait to come over and sleep with you!

    Then ghost. Don’t show up. Block him everywhere.

    So while yes, don’t get involved, please do treat him like the garbage he is using his own game.

    #773846 Reply

    anon

    Or if you are not as mean as me, remind yourself, only garbage people ghost others. What do we do with garbage? We take it out to be taken to the dump. We don’t let it go to the dump, then put it back in our house when we find out our garbage didn’t like the dump.

    Garbage stays at the dump. Maybe someone else will find that garbage to be a treasure, but we already know it is festering and gross. So please leave the garbage at the dump.

    #773851 Reply

    Lane

    No, I’ve never been in this situation because I ACCEPT it when a man stops showing any interest, or stops communicating, which is my cue to stop engaging with him as well. If you automatically stop all communication with them, when its clear they don’t want to talk to you, then they have no reason to block someone who has stopped communicating with them. If they come crawling back I do not respond back as I’ve blocked them from my life—don’t have the or inclination to engage in childish games.

    If a man isn’t capable of having an open and honest conversation with you, to formally end it, then its best to stop conversing with them, blank them back, and start the process of moving on with your life because groveling, begging, or demanding them to ‘speak to you’ is wasted time and effort. Its best to break the cycle, by you ending it, and not giving them any of your attention.

    You really should have updated your last post so we can know ALL the details in order to properly respond. If I recall, you resided with each other every few weeks or so, and still have stuff at his? If this is you, I would only speak to pick up your things up, because if I recall, your the one who wanted ‘a break’ and essentially the one who ignited (started) this whole debacle.

    #773854 Reply

    Newbie

    No lane to the last part: that was someone else. I read it back and it was a guy the op had been friends with, then a relationship, a break up and after that hooking up now and then and Jane got blocked without any explanation after sleeping with him. A really dickhead move and there should be no confusion on your part here.
    So fully second all advice especially anon and lane. Block him out of your life

    #773858 Reply

    Lane

    Thanks Newbie. There seems to be so much UNGhosting going around, I can’t keep up!

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