This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Lane 2 months, 3 weeks ago.
May 23, 2019 at 10:48 pm #751010
I met a guy on a dating app, we’ve been talking since Monday and he asked me out and at first I’ve said yes, but now I’m having doubts bc some of the things he says. He said we should hang out in a casual and fun way and enjoy ourselves, but then when we were picking our date location I mentioned we should go get bubble milk tea bc I know a place that I like, but I wasn’t sure if he would like it,to which he replied ”Its ok, I’ll treat you to some place nice, my girls always get treated”.
I mean, what?? Is that your way of admitting you’re a player? Like dude srsly and then I looked over his insta and he follows a bunch of instagram models and lots of pretty girls (but none of them follows him back lol). Idk if I should go out with his guy, it’s only a date and we haven’t even met so it’s prob not a big deal, but if he’s a bad guy I don’t wanna end up falling into his trap.May 23, 2019 at 11:37 pm #751011
I think you are wwaaaaaayyyy overthinking this. Let hi pick a place and take you there-it will give you insight into who he is….or if you are turned off,don’t
‘ go. But I think you are making a lot of assumptions at this point.May 23, 2019 at 11:38 pm #751013
Let him pick,I mean.May 23, 2019 at 11:49 pm #751014
Instead of thinking whether he is a bad or a good guy, you should ask yourself if you’re still into him. I wouldn’t be. I just mean, a major turn off. And peggy might be right that you’re reading too much into this, but… does it really matter? It was one date and you’re not feeling it.May 23, 2019 at 11:56 pm #751017
I should’ve asked how do I spot if he’s a player. I’m obv not experienced, I’m 18, he’s 27. I’m still interested but don’t want to get played.May 24, 2019 at 12:01 am #751018
How is it getting played to go on a date? He isn’t asking you to be a girlfriend. You don’t even know if you will like him. You are thinking way too ahead.
But if you are that inexperienced I would be worried about the age difference because he likely is very experienced and if you can’t go into this without keeping a clear head, you are an easy target to take advantage of.
Go on the date. Do not have sex with him or agree to go to his or your home. Get to know him a little and then go from there as to whether or not he is someone you even want to date.May 24, 2019 at 12:09 am #751019
@Ok, but from your experience does anything he said looks suspicious? Or the fact that his ig is full of him following girls.
I’m asking exactly because I have no experience. My only relationship was with my ex in high school 2 years ago.May 24, 2019 at 3:26 am #751022
question is why do you want to date a guy who is almost 10 years older ?May 24, 2019 at 8:35 am #751049
It sounds like you are already annoyed by the guy. I’d move on.May 24, 2019 at 10:26 am #751073
I’m unsure of your issue? He’s a SINGLE MAN so of course he’s dating other ladies….that’s what single people do! He is of the mindset that he needs to pick a venue (location) that impresses a lady v. a guy who’s too broke to even pick up the tab…yes, it does happen, so would you rather meet a guy who likes to pick a nice venue or one who conveniently leaves his wallet at home?
This is the problem with TEXTING. It’s some typed words on a gadget and easy for another to misinterpret because you don’t have the VERBAL (tone, inflection) or NON VERBAL (body language) to properly know how it’s being communicated. This is why you really should AVOID texting in the beginning as this could have planned within a few minutes with a phone call v. the 30 minutes of texting ping pong of which there is a HIGH RATE of miscommunication because of one or two stupid typed words. Your phone has this feature appropriately called “CALL” and highly suggest you use it more often so you can avoid the texting drama.
Just meet and talk to him in person as that’s the only way you can really get a true sense of someone. Heck, you may not like him for other reasons than the one you may be basing a false assumption on. He’s SINGLE and ALLOWED to look at whatever he wants, whether its hot sexy women, cars or whatever floats his boat. Your already acting like a hypersensitive jealous GF and haven’t even met him yet. I think you may be too uptight and over-controlling to date.May 24, 2019 at 10:57 am #751076
well, to answer your question, following a bunch of IG models and saying “my girls always get treated” may be signs that he is playing the field. the latter also sounds so… idk, this would really turn me off. I really couldn’t stop myself from making jokes about a guy if I heard something like this. That at 27 he is interested in dating a girl 10 years younger may be a sign that he is a player too.May 24, 2019 at 7:08 pm #751142
It’s the ”my GIRLS” thing that bugged me. I know he’s single and that he’s going out/sleeping with other girls, he just didn’t have to point that out to me that way, it just made me feel awkward.May 25, 2019 at 6:26 am #751213
Yeah i think your gut is right. Its a weird phrase and suggests he is either a player or an insecure guy. Also the lets hang out doesnt sound very promising. The problem with your age is that many guys are like this. They are not looking to settle down. So its up to you how to handle it. Dont do homedates, dont have sex early on are the best tools to have to guard yourself with. Keep dates short at first and dont be afraid to decline dates if its not a good match.
Honestly, at your age i wouldnt be on dating apps but look at guys who are already in your daily life, like at school, gym etc. There must be tons of single guys.May 25, 2019 at 7:16 am #751222
I’m going to say what you’re thinking deep down in your gut and what you need to hear….YES he is a player and YES you should move onto someone else. Plus the fact he’s 27 and going for an 18 is very weird.May 25, 2019 at 8:41 am #751230
If you are 18 then I think it would be a good learning experience for you. Sometimes people aren’t who you portray them to be and can only really know if you meet and talk to them. I had the same perception about a guy who hangs out at a local grill I go to get away from my business for a bit. I automatically assumed he was ‘a player’ as he was a biker, handsome, very fit, and saw him with different pretty ladies so that was the impression I had of him and essentially ignored him for several month based on that perception alone. One day te ONLY place to sit was next to him so I did and basically just ignored him. He then struck up a conversation with me and as we were talking and I got to know him better my assumptions were very wrong! He said he gets ‘accused’ of being a player often and it actually hurts his feelings because he’s NOT that way, and would really like to find a nice lady to settle down with but so far hasn’t met her. We now have a great friendship, he’s interesting to talk with, smart, well educated and glad I met the ‘real him’ v. the false assumption I made and I’m over 50 so you can still be wrong about people.
At your age this kind of dating experience would be good for you, as it will help you learn more about people by interacting with them v. making automatic assumptions based on a few words in a text. He could be a player or he could not be a player but you can’t really know until you talk and get a better sense of who a person is beyond a device (aka “cell phone’).
Dating should be FUN, an adventure, a field of learning so when you are ready to settle down at some point in time you will have a good idea of the qualities/characteristics of the type of man who would make a good long-term partner for YOU. This man could impart some knowledge and information about how men operate and if anything you get a free meal out of it haha.