Two LDR's

This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Newbie 11 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #753525 Reply

    Kay Craig

    Hello, everyone
    I am in a LDR with two guys. I dated one of them for a few months last year. We split but are still in touch. I have not seen him in over a year. Man #1 whom I will refer to as KF is 5 years younger than me; a disabled vet; lives with his mother and takes care of her; wants to be more than friends again.
    Man #2 I will refer to as RR. He is 4 years older than me. Still works full-time, as in 7-days a week. Both men live at least 1-2 hours away from me. I met them both online. I have seen man #2 in over 3 months. We talk on the phone every night. FYI: I am 62 years old. Man #2 because of his work seems content to only be phone friends. I have been talking to him for over 8 months. He has visited me a few times but never overnight because of work obligations. I was widowed over 9 years ago. Re-married and divorced over 2 years ago.
    KF knows about RR but RR does not know about KF. KF says he loves me. RR has made no such declaration

    #753526 Reply


    You aren’t in LTRs with 2 men! You have two penpals! Whats your endgame here?

    #753539 Reply


    You aren’t in an LDR with 2 guys. You split with one of them and stay in touch but you haven’t seen KF in over a year! And RR hasn’t seen you in 3 months and in the entire 8 months you’ve been talking he’s only seen you a few times. I tend to agree with uhm, you aren’t in a relationship or dating EITHER of these guys! You are penpals to stroke their egos when they feel like it.

    The reality of your situation is that 1-2 hours is not that long distance. It would obviously be easier with RR if he didn’t work 7 days a week but I can’t understand why you haven’t seen each other in over 3 months. What is your reason or not going to him and spending the night? You’ve been talking for 8 months but only seen him a few times. All of this sounds like an incredible waste of time..having a relationship with your phone instead of a living breathing man! Men need in person time and shared experiences to create an emotional bond. They don’t bond through word like women do. Which is why you seem to think you’re in a relationship with both guys and I don’t see any sign either of them thinks they are in a relationship with you!!

    You don’t go 3 months to a year without seeing someone you’re dating when they are only an hour or two away!

    #753644 Reply


    What’s the issue with meeting someone local

    #753649 Reply


    I think you are confused. this is no relationship. just comfortable friendships with two guys. both will lead to nothing. start looking for local men who r willing to get into proper relationship with you.

    #753650 Reply


    Penpals can be nice but they can be a collosal waste of time if you expect more from it. The second guy clearly isnt interested in anything but chat. The first guy wants to rekindle. If you have feelings for him, thats the guy i would consider but only if you can recall the reasons why you split up the first time to see if the same reasons still exist

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