Toxic relationship?


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  • #823715 Reply
    Yvonne

    Hi, I’ve posted about this before. Here I am posting again… needing help.

    My parents are making me very ill this year. I’m 21 and end of last year, I met my current bf. Initially I wasn’t expecting it to be serious and I was still away in university in a different city so dating was easier. I moved back with half of my family because of my placement/internship for one year in July to save rent and things have been very rocky.

    I told my parents about my bf briefly but just said I’m talking to him and things seemed to be going well as I knew in a way they might not be able to handle it so I tread lightly. They didn’t take it well and started all sorts of drama. Would yell at me and say nasty things like never ever respect my bf because he is beneath them, especially my dad. They have never met him before and I thought I must be wrong again (the previous guy I went out with wanted sex) and made me start to doubt my bf for awhile.

    Saying that they’d disown me and forbids me to see him ever again. Basically asking me to choose between my bf and my family. For months now, I have been lying to them that we are not talking anymore and things were alright for awhile. But then my brother started being nasty to me, and would criticise how I dressed, how I cut my potatoes, how I do my laundry, food was not up to his standard, how much water I put in the kettle, saying I don’t know how to take care of myself. Wtf? I lived in a flat with flatmates for 4 years and I did my own laundry, cleaning and cooked everyday for myself.

    Every other weekend, there would be a big argument and I’d start crying. I just feel so depressed. I’m crying while typing this. Now that me and my bf ‘aren’t’ talking anymore, they would accuse me of something else. Like tonight, I was in the phone with a male friend and they went absolutely crazy because they said we’re bf and gf. My dad called me desperate and can’t live without a guy and I’d flirt with any guy. Basically called me cheap.

    They are pushing me to a corner, especially my dad. I understand they worry about me and love me and want the best for me but they are controling me, telling me who I can or can’t speak to on the phone. He’s a good friend of mine, that’s all. We’re like brothers and sisters, totally platonic!

    They even had cameras in the flat at one point that I didn’t even know. Wtf? Literally WTF?

    They are making me very very ill and I feel like every argument is making me recline into a more depressive and hopless state. I just feel like every thing is so dark and hopeless, and I can’t leave this family.

    What should I do? It’s not easy to move out, they’d have a fit for sure. Would also appreciate some words of comfort now too.

    #823723 Reply
    Raven

    Sorry this is happening to you!

    What advice do you want to hear?

    #823730 Reply
    Sophia

    I’m honestly very sorry you’re dealing with this, but the only thing to do is move out. Who cares if they throw a fit? It’s not like you’re leaving a loving family.

    Save your sanity and move out. You did it before. Now’s the time to do it again. Good luck!

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