Home › Forums › Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Advice › Tips on long distance relationship in 2020
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Anna
Hi guys,
So, I’ve been dating this guy for over a year now. We got to know each other for 6 months in 2018 and dated officially by May 2019. He’s an au pair in Australia and landed a job in January 2020, just before lockdown.
Now because of COVID, he’s not able to travel to the UK as much, (where I’m from), and it seems like his commitment is with the family there, and is losing contact with me. I told him that since he moved to Australia and COVID, I feel like I’m losing him, but he said it’s just hard to contact me because of the time difference and he’s always busy with the family there. If it wasn’t for COVID, I could visit him and he could come to the UK to see me, that way we both can make the effort. the fact that the time difference is also a challenge to keep in contact with.
I’ve heard so many stories that long-distance relationships don’t work but at the same time when this is all over, we can see each other again. I feel like maybe, a part of me feels like the more time we spend apart, it makes the heart grow fonder. I’m torn between what to do in this situation.
I really don’t wanna lose him cos this is something serious since my last break up 5 years ago. Since then, it was hard for me to date. I feel like this is the right time I found someone. I don’t wanna ruin it. What shall I do if we lose contact. I don’t wanna chase him either.
Thanks
Anna
Sensy
Wish you would have rather said you no longer felt connected and don’t have fear because if it’s meant to be, he will come to you. If not, a good one is in your future. Nothing good comes from chasing a guy.
Ss
There is long distance and then there is looooong distance. I cannot see how a relationship with someone in Australia when you are in the UK can possibly Work?! Its a whole day’s travel to the other side of the world just to visit each other which is just not viable unless your relationship was already properly established long term prior to the move and its temporary.
My boyfriend and I are in an LDR but only 3 hours away and the key is communication. He isn’t bothered by texting but knows I like to hear from him so he will send the odd text when we are not together but we speak on the phone most days we aren’t together as he prefers calls. I don’t actually need so many calls but it is what he likes. My point is we have established a communication pattern that works for us both with some compromise- although there was never a big discussion on it. If your guy is rarely in contact and he is the other side of the world how on earth can this be a relationship?
What is it in you that you choose a man who is physically and it seems emotionally unavailable? I don’t see how this can work and honestly it seems like he has checked out anyway
I would end things at least until he is back in the UK x
Annisa Hasan
Hi Ss,
I mean if it weren’t for COVID, I’d see him and he’d see me, we’d make it work, but right now, all we’re doing is texting because of the time difference. I’ve thought about it, and when this is all over, we’ll see whether we can make it work by travelling to see each other on a regular basis.
Thanks anyway.
Anderson
How was your contact before covid? Meaning, has it always been a struggle to schedule calls/video given the timezone, or has this only recently become an issue?
Ss
I just don’t get how you think its ever going to be realistic for you guys to travel to see each other… its the other side of the world! Have you been to Australia? It can take days to recover from jet lag and any visit less than 2 weeks is pointless when it takes a day or so to get there. It really is not a realistic hope for a relationship. Its ridiculous!
How long were you together before the move and how often did you see each other?
Ss
I just don’t get how you think its ever going to be realistic for you guys to travel to see each other… its the other side of the world! Have you been to Australia? It can take days to recover from jet lag and any visit less than 2 weeks is pointless when it takes a day or so to get there. It really is not a realistic hope for a relationship. Its ridiculous!
How long were you together before the move and how often did you see each other?
Newbie
Lol ss, there is such an invention called a plane that pretty much travels you around the world. But besides that me poking i didnt see a response from op so i guess she is finding her way. If she wasnt: tips on ldr, there has to be 100% trust in each other and 100% good lines of communication or it will be really hard to work. What you want is to establish a bond, a union designed to be more than the two of you. If its not deepening it will fail. And in a lot of cases thats for the best
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