The “What are we talk”

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Omg 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #756839 Reply


    Me and the guy I’ve been seeing had the what are we conversation. I’ve been dreading this conversation mainly because I’ve been really starting to like this guy but felt like something was off especially since he was just coming off of a long-term relationship. He told me he doesn’t think he wants a serious relationship right now… Also added saying he does want one eventually and quoted that he’s not saying he won’t ever want that with me just right now he is confused and wants to keep dating me to see what transpires. Also added that he really likes me a lot and is happy with me but understands if that’s not what I want.

    I’m so very confused. I know the right thing to do is to end it now. But I am also happy with him and my feelings are getting in the way of logical thinking. What should I do?

    #756840 Reply


    Why are you wasting time with a man who told you in the beginning he doesnt want relationship WITH YOU??

    #756841 Reply


    Are you the same poster as “Did we go too fast?”

    If so, I think it will be difficult for you to continue as you become more intimate with him knowing he doesn’t want a serious relationship. Believe him when he says that. He’s not ready.

    #756842 Reply


    Ouch, big, big sting. Tuck your tail between your legs and slither away, lick your wounds for a few days, then carry on with your dignity.

    Don’t waste another minute on him, you will end up begging him to love you back. He doesn’t. He knows he doesn’t love you.

    Hes being honest. Open your ears.

    #756843 Reply


    That’s a “thanks for being honest… I’m looking for someone who’s ready now. I wish you the best, we can’t see each other any longer.”

    You WILL get hurt if you stick around. You are a straight-up rebound at this point. Don’t hang around, auditioning for the role of girl friend, hoping he changes his mind.

    If you calmly and coolly walk away and don’t look back, he might com back around one day when he is ready, but if that happens it will only happen if you aren’t expecting it and don’t give a hoot what he does.

    #756847 Reply


    Yes this will be hard, but the only thing you can do is walk away. You said in your other post youre new to dating and thats why this will be extra hard, but this guy is rebounding and not ready for a relationship. The maybe one day will just get you hooked and more confused along the line. If was relatively early to have this talk but at least now you know he is not ready to have a relationship. So think logically, you do want a relationship so that wont match. Wish him well and say goodbye. Realize you only know this guy for a month so you will get over it.
    I think you will not listen to the advice because you feel chemistry and hope he will soon feel it too. If you keep seeing him then at least take being intimate totally off the table. He will probably get bored fast and you already felt something was off here

    #756856 Reply


    When a guy is “confused”, it can mean 2 things 1) He’s not over his ex gf 2) He’s gay. Given the fact that he just got out of a long term relationship, it probably means he’s not over his ex, and he won’t be anytime soon. Don’t date a guy who has not been broken up with a long term ex (dating 1 year or longer) for at least a year. 99% of the time, they are not over them yet before a year, and you are just a time and attention filler, aka he’s using you. He’s stringing you along hoping you’ll stay for the sole reason of getting an ego boost, easy sex, and curing bordem. If he was seriously ready to be in a relationship with you, he would be. Once he doesn’t need you anymore, he will discard you with no warning and you will be left broken hearted.

    #756879 Reply


    Donna nailed it! This happened to me where I walked away without any intention of seeing them ever again. Those who did come back pushed for the relationship where I did give a couple another try; ended up marrying one (lasted over 20 years) and in a relationship with another for over 2.5 years now. I never would have given them a second shot if they didn’t prove to me they were ‘all in’ over a good period of time (5 – 6 months).

    If the man isn’t pushing for it (all in), then walk away—my dad taught me this when I was young thankfully.

    #756886 Reply


    Yeah Lane. We already know men can’t resist you. Sigh. Can you not stop talking about yourself?

    #756887 Reply


    She forgets to say the new guy she’s with was married for the two years. Lol

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