Texting and then nothing…

After a week or so he should have asked you out on a date.
Stop worrying about texting.

There are many people online who will spend hours texting with no real plans to meet up.

Probably not that into you. I know because I’ve been there.

As others have said, just move on to the next. He might circle back when the woman he is currently focussing on doesn’t pan out but dont wait around for that.

I am usually talking to 3 or 4 guys at any one time and i tend to whittle them down to a main “contender” . Not usually because the other guys dont seem nice but because one guy stands out and seems to be a better fit. I generally will meet for a causal coffee or after work drink date fairly quickly and that can mean the guy i thought was the pick of the bunch actually isn’t in person and so my chat with another guy might pick up pace again.

Its not that I’m trying to mess anyone around but its just how dating goes – you have to figure out who is worth pursuing and sometimes without even meaning to this means my conversation with other guys might ebb a bit. I’m playing by the dating rules that seem to be in play which is assume everyone is dating others and don’t focus on just one prospect.

If I’ve met a guy and then prefer someone else i will message and say it was nice to meet them but that there wasn’t a connection for me. If I’ve never met them unless I’ve arranged to meet them i don’t bother texting as there isn’t a need if you have just chatted for a bit- that person is a stranger.

The way dating is nowadays is a bit brutal at times but if you think of it in the context of how we used to date- maybe chat to one guy at a bar etc and then chat to another later in the night, you wouldn’t go back to the first guy you chatted to and say you aren’t interested – there is no need. Initial app dating chats are no different.

Its hard at times, especially if you chat too much and too long before meeting as you will build up a false rapport and connection which leads to unrealistic expectations of people you don’t actually know! Even though I’ve learnt that lesson i still got caught out recently with messaging with a guy so much and then going on a date with them and it just wasn’t working out and I’ve now found myself really missing the chats he and i had … even though it wasn’t going to work. I over invested! Annoying but a good reminder for me not to over invest.

So, I’m waffling but what I’m trying to explain is the dating process and that this guy dropping off sucks but its just how it goes.