Taken for Granted


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This topic contains 3 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  tammy 4 weeks, 1 day ago.

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  • #773407 Reply

    Annie

    Hello
    I’m looking for advice on how to let go of anger at my boyfriend for being taken for granted. He took me for granted in a pretty big way recently and I’m noticing our relationship is becoming very one sided…. everything is about him.
    We had a discussion about it this morning. He admitted he just expected me to help him for 8 days at a recent trade show as I’m his girlfriend. (7 months dating and not living together). My issue…. I didn’t mind helping as he was limited by recent shoulder surgery, but there was no appreciation for my help or even a thank you. Just criticism – although this was my first time doing this and having no experience in his industry. I tried my best.
    Now there is another show coming up in 2 days and he wants me to go again. Even tho he apologized I still feel angry and hurt. How do I let go of this and either give him another chance or just tell him I don’t want to go now.
    Either way I’m worried that this relationship is on the rocks.

    #773413 Reply

    Raven

    If your declining to assist him rocks your relationship, is your relationship really that strong …?

    #773416 Reply

    Shoshannah

    Just say no. It’s actually a well known phenomenon in psychology – givers give, but then feel exploited and taken for granted. Whereas they don’t have to give in the first place. I’m not saying that you can’t ever help your boyfriend, but maybe not necessarily when he just assumes that you will and offers nothing but criticism in return.

    #773434 Reply

    tammy

    you feel your being used and that’s why you feel resentful. so don’t give so much unless you feel your contribution is convenient for you, is appreciated and your willing. don’t get coerced into helping out when you cant or don’t want to. you could start with saying you could help only on a certain day or for certain hours only or you simply say that its not possible on those days due to your work. I assume your working? I guess my point here is don’t go overboard with helping if you feel this is becoming too one sided and you feel your niceness is being taken advantage of. put your foot down and say wont be possible.

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