This topic contains 50 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Newbie 8 months ago.
December 16, 2018 at 3:09 pm #732521
You trust a man to be monogamous who lives with his wife? You must have ‘stupid’ written on your forehead.December 16, 2018 at 3:25 pm #732522
The Truth Bringer
Trust your gut instinct. You knew he was messing around. He is trolling the net for hos. You caught him red handed. Find yourself a better man. Get rid of this thing before you get some diseases that you can not get rid of from him. That is all he can give you.December 16, 2018 at 3:46 pm #732523
The Truth Bringer
Ok this freak is married. Cut the cord. Stay away from married men. Wags finger at you.December 16, 2018 at 4:04 pm #732524
I understand wanting fun and casual just fine after a long marriage. But here you are, you trapped yourself with a guy that you keep asking questions about. For most guys casual really means no strings attached. He can say he wont date others, but he sure will be looking. You spend all this time collecting red flags and for what? To torture yourself more? Is it fun and casual? Thats what you have to ask yourself. I think not or you wouldnt have looked up his profile. I think you need to move oneDecember 16, 2018 at 4:20 pm #732525
What have we told you about seeing married guys …?December 16, 2018 at 5:16 pm #732529
i know i know, but it started off with him advertising himself as single, then the trickle of reality with my seeming inability to break things off with anyone.
he text me this morning as usual, I have yet to respond. He is asking for me to let him knkw when he can call. I dont know I just dont want to deal with it. I think I said all I had to during out text echange.
what do I say? ignore or just say sorry it’s over? There is this small part of me that thinks what if he is telling the truth?
There are plenty of my female freinds that no longer have sex with their husbands so I can believe this at a stretch. I dont think its normal though.
Have I ever dated or done anything with a married man before No! This is one relationship and lifestyle that I dont get.December 16, 2018 at 5:21 pm #732532
My expertise is if you have a husband, bf and LDR gf. I can juggle all three and can add you to my waiting list if you just want a casual LDR with the other team.December 16, 2018 at 5:22 pm #732531
Ask Emma.December 16, 2018 at 5:24 pm #732534
Just end things. Relationships aren’t worth it if you don’t trust the other person.December 16, 2018 at 6:42 pm #732545
Well he just phoned me… the impression I got was him being defensive and angry that I was doubtful. As the profile indicated that the person is online again this morning after going offline last night it’s harder to believe it’s just a place holder or glitch. It’s an active profile.
Its left me feeling more disturbed that he is like fine fine if that’s they way you want to be attitude, instead of saying please believe me or I don’t want to loose you. It almost makes me feel bad and guilty for questioning it.
This is eerily similar to how my ex behaved when he was caught out. It makes you feel bad for saying I’m sorry this looks bad.
The point also is that this is how he handles these things, this is not what I want in any type of relationship. I just don’t believe him. Its not his one 10 year old I might add photo but his whole profile just looks reactivated.
I let things slide a lot but seriously at least be honest.December 16, 2018 at 7:08 pm #732546
He’s MARRIED! He is not going to beg you to stay. He can find a dozen women like you. You aren’t going to have any real relationship ship with him because he is married! What part of that don’t you seem to get? You just said you are good with casual and now you are worried about his character for a real relationship. I think you need to figure out what you really want and get some therapy. Because this is so obvious a blind man could see what’s happening.
You are a piece in the side who he sees once a week. So what he texts a good morning and good night? That’s what players tend to do because naive women like you associate meaning to it. They do it because it’s easy. If he really cared he would be spending more than once a week with you and not be married and not hanging out on dating websites with an active profile. The man LIED to you beforehand you even met him by saying he was single. That should have been your first sign to move on.
He isn’t wanting more than fwb with you. But you bought into his lame excuses, catered to his creepiness and now he knows he can say just about anything and you will buy it. It’s pathetic really.
Go on and keep doing what you are doing. Because given your track record with him so far, You will just fall back in all over again. You haven’t listened once to any advice given here or on previous threads. You would have thought you learned from your ex, but some women need to keep making the same mistakes over and over until they figure it out or end up in therapy.December 16, 2018 at 10:20 pm #732558
There is no limit to how “naive”, for lack of a better word, women can be.
What bothers me if that they post their stories, the same stories, without giving you the same background info. You think you can outsmart and trick us into giving oyu advice that would help you dive deeper in denial? by hiding the previous info?
A married dude who lives an hour or more away, sees you once a week. gets really nervous is oyu look him up online, start being aggressive if oyu ask, tells you his profile was “stolen”. I don’t remember the earring part to be honest but I am sure it was something very obvious as well.
Stop taking everyone for a fool here. Everyone unanimously gives you the same advice, which happens very rarely here, you listen to all of it and then do back to your own denial and do the same stupid thing you’ve been doing.
Stop wasting our time here. get your s***it together and dump this lier. Or stop whining and accept the role you’ve put yourself in, i.e. that of a fool who can be manipulated and lied to without any intelligent effort at all. And next time you post the same story don’t expect women not to remember you.December 17, 2018 at 1:13 am #732570
emma, Oh I know I am a fool and I’m not trying to pull the wool over anyone eyes.
I left out the background initially as my question was – how likely is it that a dating site profile is hijacked or activated on a dying dating site like ok C ?
That was my question not is he a suitable boyfriend for a woman who is vulnerable and stupidly kind and forgiving.
The lier is dumped. I was more writing about how I WAS FEELING.December 17, 2018 at 1:24 am #732571
Beth thank you I do get it. I’m good at rug sweeping and being convinced. I had stopped dating when I met him and as I have said previously I don’t seem to be able to say no.
I felt cared about it wasn’t just a morning and night text it was chatting during the mornings and night, meeting for lunches and movies no sex. Keeping me updated with his life, making me dinner at his house. I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere but he made me feel like I mattered to him, a lot. He pursued me for nearly 6 months daily with dates phone calls meetings etc That’s a lot of effort, money and time. I knew I needed and wanted to pull the plug but what if I was wrong about him I just stayed in contact and ended up avoiding getting together the last few weeks. I’m not stupid at all just really easily manipulated and trusting.December 17, 2018 at 11:28 am #732610
Did you end it with him?December 17, 2018 at 12:09 pm #732612
It probably wasn’t stolen, but some of the dating sites re-activate profiles, especially paid ones, to make it look more well populated than it really is.
And oh, he is married with an open marriage? This guy is probably out there looking. Or his marriage isn’t really open and he is a level 10 Ninja cheater.December 17, 2018 at 4:18 pm #732635
@lala yes i did on the phone when he rang. I said even if the dating pfofile was not him, which the simple explaination was that it is this isnt working for me. sorry.
@anon yes his was paid and I thought of that but the indicator light was saying he was online that night and came back on again the next morning. I decided that i didnt need to work this out, too many lies already. Also realized one of his proof photos that he showed me about his account had a big tell in it that it was all a lie.December 19, 2018 at 1:00 am #732806
He started blowing up my phone today ringing and texting. He confessed to lying about his dating profile being stolen said after he lied he didn’t know what to do to make it better but I shouldn’t judge him on one small mistake and he was just bored. But then went on to that the reason he was on it that night was because he got a like and went to check it. WTF!
I have no words for him or for me getting sucked into this.
But thought I would clarify that yes he is a lying and gaslighting as*clownDecember 19, 2018 at 4:28 am #732821
There you go, you see when you put your foot down and told him it’s over regardless, and he suddenly admitted the truth to you? Because you have shown him you won’t put up with it like you’ve been, something he did not expect. This proves how everyone on here has been correct about your case.
Liar liar liar!!
Keep your eyes open and breathe in the words everyone has warned you about and live by it. This man is bad news on so many levels. You look powerful right now, do not loose this by going back to him again. If you do, then it could only mean one thing, you are not forgiving you are stupid! Walk away head high and cut contact forever.December 19, 2018 at 8:04 am #732833
Sorry but LOL!!! At least he told you the truth this time around! Men are such idiots.
You are far better off without him. Good luck next time around. You’ll find a keeper with patience and a good bs detector.December 19, 2018 at 8:31 am #732835
OMFG, STOP with marrieds.
It is like shooting fish in a barrel for women to get sex. There is NO NEED to have a sex only relationship with a married man that is creeping on other women.
If you need sex, go on Tinder as a single, set your age range from 25 to 35. Pick whatever dude strikes your fancy. Meet him for a drink. Proceed.December 19, 2018 at 12:43 pm #732861
Creeps are a dime a dozen. Whatever motivation this guy has (beyond simply sex… whatever is lacking in his character to go to such lengths) isn’t your problem to deal with. It’s good to hear you shut the door on him and his charade! You want to be as far away from someone like that when his house of cards crashes around him.
You sound like a caring person who ultimately wants to give someone the benefit of the doubt and to make sure you aren’t unjustly accusing anyone. That’s a good quality, but it can definitely lead to letting yourself get taken in if you don’t balance it with clear guidelines for what doesn’t serve you.
Some people thrive on confrontation, you’d rather avoid it. That’s understandable BUT just know that shutting down someone who doesn’t have concern for your interests doesn’t have to be explosive or drama filled if you are matter of fact and truly feel you don’t deserve that type of bs. Your confidence in that will really help you make the calls for what matches what you want and what doesn’t, no matter the situation.
It might sound cliché, but think about the confidence you said you have in other areas. There’s no reason why it can’t apply to this area of your life as well. Guys like him lack confidence, no matter how arrogant of a front they put on. He wouldn’t be playing these games or be in search of ego boosts if he didn’t. Confidence in yourself is an attitude. It takes work for everyone. You wouldn’t be alone in that, but the good news is that it is an attitude you are in charge of!
Best wishes and good luck :)December 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm #732864
He did not come clean. When a lier gets busted, they tell another one.December 19, 2018 at 1:39 pm #732872
Women really need to have *zero* tolerance with NSA type relationships. Unless he is heading towards a committed relationship with you, HE IS READILY REPLACEABLE.December 19, 2018 at 1:47 pm #732874
The problem with ‘NSA’ is that in the majority of cases the woman hopes/expects it will turn into more. Otherwise, she would have no problem walking away without looking back.