Still trying to get over it


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    Better off single

    So, I’ve been getting weird messages on facebook messenger from followers I never really talk to and they were video messages. Violent or gruesome ones. Which is out of the ordinary since one of them was a guy I have not seen or talked to in years and another from someone I worked with and we’re not exactly close.

    One of them messaged me back and said they were hacked.

    I’m getting a message, I just don’t get the message. Sure, call the police over a message within a message that makes no sense to the outside party. Yeah, it totally looks like I’m in danger. arrest my innocent friend that has nothing to do with it officer!

    Is my ex fiance really alive or one of those random girlfriends of his thinking she’s getting some sort of vengeance because she doesn’t understand how stupid I was in my 20s? I’m not the same person anymore. I do regret breaking his heart. I regret everything about that relationship. I miss him terribly. I had no idea what I was doing. I am under the impression he is dead. What can I do about it other than light a few candles and try to communicate with him that way? It’s too much effort and I really don’t believe in that s*it anyway.

    I think that’s what’s going on here. Charades. Uuummm.. 2 words, 2 syllables.

    I’m fine. I don’t need him or really want him. I have no hard feelings. In fact, I’m grateful because I know what kind if relationship I don’t want. I’ve accepted that it is out of my hands. Why can’t he see that without out getting butthurt over what I don’t understand? He trained me to be this way and want to keep my distance. Through his actions and manipulative tactics. He led me to believe he really never liked me in the first place. Just wanted to reel me in and believe he did to gain that control over me. He pushed me to detatch emotionally and pretty much stop caring about wanting to please him or meet him or any guy for that matter. What does he want from me? I’m dont want to obsess about it any more or chase him and things like this happening make it difficult. Things like this happening give me anxiety and manic episodes. Why doesn’t he get that? Why does he want that for me? WTF did I do?

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