Something's changed..read through please :) need guidance


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This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  IDiva 5 days, 21 hours ago.

Viewing 16 posts - 1 through 16 (of 16 total)
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  • #757144 Reply

    Indian Diva

    Hi Ladies

    I know how we are all at some point of time going through the What is happening !? Why me ? Will I ever be happy!? phases. Trust me I have been through that a lot ..I first posted about my sad little life in 2016 crying over a guy….posted till last year about multip;e guys I met- tried dating, all ending in terrible heartaches. Everytime my hurt gushing he is the one ! with the chasing and then why he doesn’t like me, what did I do wrong. and oh sometimes he is just PHYSICALLY attracted and oh my god he insulted me that i am not attractive.

    I noticed a pattern every F**ing time wht does he want. I took a break after 3 years, and I don’t know why but I am at peace :)

    Like recently I heard all..like all the rest of my friends getting married (the last batch) as a human I felt happy anda little left out but still ok…

    so its a little weird now with me I have my dating profiles still out there and sometimes I do even open it but i dont swipe anymore neither left nor right…just look at it and without a breath my brain says naah…not ready for another twisted world of lies.

    Everytime I came out of a relation I was emotionally bruised, it used to take me a hell lot of a time to get over it and move ahead and I did went back to dating world over and over again for a stretch of 2 years.

    People say that’s a long time to find someone, I sometimes feel may be these many failuires say something about me..that I am meant to be alone…I do get sad too thinking that ( that I will be alone and might die alone too) but this thought also doesn’t scare or motivate me enough to meet- date- find that human who I might want to spend my life with.

    The thought I have now is I want to be happy in the moment – with me as a priority. I don’t want to cry over and be depressed stressed about any stupid guy who treats my like princess once and then garbage after a month.

    I know people are happy with a loving spouse and family and people who are single don’t get all that. I don’t know if I ever meet someone like that ( high possibility bcz now I am not even trying ) but I don’t want to live fantasizing /thinking giving false hopes of a mirage (dream).

    I am 30, never had a long term relation – bf or ever had sex….may be missed a lot as an aspect of being human, or the urges I have as a girl.

    I think I can supress them..right ? :)

    The life which I want for myself now is where I am happy as a soul contributor to my happiness. Human do feel high, low, happy, sad, loved, alone. Somehow I am restricting my emotions so that I don’t get hurt.

    3 years back a guy s told me that I have build a cocoon around me and I take time….I tried comming out of that cocoon got hurt once twice ..multiple times that now I am in ahard shell who doesn’t want to be exposed at all.

    Please don’t post anything negative, I just shared this bcz we all go through it those feelings those thoughts ..just wanted to say make yourself priority, stop figuring out what he wants ..may be he is nt sure ..YOU my dear figure out what you want..instead of thinking what he is is thinking analyse and stream your thoughts and energy :)

    #757146 Reply

    Sophia

    anewmode_com/topic/moved-to-my-city/

    #757183 Reply

    Sassysampy

    I completely understand. I have no advice other than you should focus on you, when you find your happiness, which you will not find in a particular person but in yourself. Then it will get easier to open up the cocoon. I was accused of having a brick wall built. Which I knew was due to be extremely heavy and embarrassed. I eventually started to focus on me, what I liked, what I didn’t. I stopped worrying if I was going to say or do something wrong around guys. I was 40 until I finally found a great guy. I still go through a ton of questions and self doubt. But always know deep down that the guy doesn’t define me….I define me.

    #757227 Reply

    Indian Diva

    Sassysampy you are beautiful happy soul girl :)

    thank you for sharing your mind and experience :)

    #757230 Reply

    Indian Diva

    anewmode_com/topic/decoding-the-second-date-and-this-person

    #757777 Reply

    Selena

    LDR – meeting a guy for the first time after 3 months of conversation
    Stringing along?
    How does it feel ‘L’ ?

    #757802 Reply

    Better off single

    There are better things to do than waste your time searching for someone to be with. good for you.

    Me, the way i see it is i like to be alone. I’m happier by myself. I dont mind going out for some fun with someone new here and there and seeing where it goes. Someone is really going to have to impress me with their actions and not leave me confused to make me change my mind and want something long term. I won’t fall for words anymore.

    #757822 Reply

    tammy

    I think you should simply focus on self and having a gud social life. pick up activities join groups go for brunches, hikes, parties if you can. idea is to go out meet new people and make friends.

    #757953 Reply

    nast

    Today I undress for free

    #758001 Reply

    Indian Diva

    Thank you ladies…

    I feel I want to get settled so that’s positive but I am not open to the idea of dating (atleast for now) I feel like ahh no more sweet talking please if you don’t have a spine…

    ANd i truly believe it’s not the guys fault..i also fail to keep them interested. The major things I feel is with guys
    1. if they are blabbering about themselves …iits like a record going on and on
    2. they try coming too close(physically) without knowing me that well

    few months back I spoke to a guy genuinely interested in me, but then I got to know that he was sexting someone else on a regular basis on the side.

    I heard his explanation but decided to dro him..as I can’t ever trust such a human..

    will i die single ?? :/ :| :D

    #758019 Reply

    tammy

    I don’t think your really reading what people are posting here. and this trip of self pity and self badgering doesn’t work. if you feel negative about things it shows through in your interactions. and if you desperate to get settled than the neediness reflects in your actions. both of which are major deterrents to men. I will simply repeat what I said earlier. focus on having a rich social life. pick up weekend activities or join groups which are into food, hiking and trekking or bar hopping midweek or weekend. groups into weekend camping activities. you can come across these groups on social media. get out and focus on meeting new people of both the genders. meet people and make new friends. chill relax and enjoy life.

    #758454 Reply

    Nitya

    www.bolde#com/get-easily-obsessed-men-problem/

    #758455 Reply

    alia

    An advice I got one here many years ago was yo pay attention to guys who like you, not the guys you like. Then pick a boyfriend from the guys that like you. As easy as that, but difficult in the moment. Then as you get to know the person you may start liking them, too. Or not. But at least walking away you can do it on your own terms and you will not feel like garbage.

    #759575 Reply

    Misty

    Pursued a guy…showed mutual interest , asked him for meeting, met once for drinks on a friday.( had a good happy time)..tried talking till Monday over texts, saw no initiative from him for the next possible meetup…should i politely part?

    I don’t want to be pushy as I broke the ice…and I think if a man is truly interested I think he should take some responsibility too.

    can anyone guide?

    #759588 Reply

    Indian_Diva

    anewmode>com/topic/date-1-what-next/#post-759586

    #760645 Reply

    IDiva

    /www.anewmode#com/topic/new-guy-need-all-the-tips-i-can-get/

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