This topic contains 22 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Wow 9 months ago.
October 22, 2017 at 8:11 pm #661793
It is a very complicated situation, but I will try and make it as short as possible.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and there has been a lot of people (mainly 3) who never wanted my bf to have a girlfriend, or regardless be happy. Two of his best friends (who have admitted are in love with my boyfriend, but my boyfriend has rejected them long before he met me) and his cousin who used to date one of his best friends. Let’s call two best friends Cathy and Amy and the cousin, Rob. So Amy is out of the picture now since she has a bf of her own, but she is very jealous of me cause my boyfriend is obviously spending more time with me. Cathy on the other hand, is a bit crazy (mentally ill) and is delusional that my boyfriend should prioritize her instead of me and she fights all the time. The reason why my boyfriend doesnt let his friendship go of Cathy (he already frienddumped Amy) is because Cathy always threatens my bf that shes going to commit suicide. She is taking medication now, so she is becoming a bit more normal, but still despises me and always tells my bf to break up with me. After 6 months of Cathy drama I just ignore her and me and my boyfriend never speak of her unless she does something.
So Rob is in this because he is best friends with Amy and used to date Cathy (they are still on and off) both Cathy and Rob are mentally ill, but ROb isnt taking any medication. Rob does everything in his power to ruin my bfs life ever since they were little because Rob’s parents always tell Rob that Rob should follow in my bf’s footsteps because he is a perfect son unlike Rob. Very tragic story, but long story short my bf always has to pick up Rob and Rob messes up my bfs life. Rob also punched my bf in the face before when Cathy admitted to Rob that shes in love with my bf…………YEAH VERY COMPLICATED STORY I KNOW.
Okay so now, I have been ignoring Rob since day one because even though I tried to meet Cathy/Amy/Rob, they already had one sided/fake thought of me (taking my bf away from them) and they have despised me ever since. SO what I did was just ignore all of them and not reply to any of their messages. But one message struck me today.
Rob sent me a message saying my bf is cheating on me and I have proof, but since I’m not replying to his messages, I will have to find out myself.
I trust my boyfriend and he has already denied it, but my boyfriend acted so calmy. Like as if it didnt even affect him. My bf didnt even reassure me. He just said hes not cheating and hes tired of the Cathy/Rob drama and has more better things to do with his life. My bf also told me to block Rob.
Of course my insecurities creep in and I don’t know. What proof does Rob have? or is he just looking for a reaction? Why was my bf so calm? WHy would he tell me to block Rob? Is my bf hiding something?
What do you guys think of all of this? Is my bf cheating?
Please please please help me clear my mind my fellow sisters.
October 22, 2017 at 8:12 pm #661794
Sorry for being ignorant of using the word crazy and “normal”. I know mental illness is a serious matter. I was just full of emotion when I wrote thisOctober 22, 2017 at 8:16 pm #661795
Also my bf told me to block Cathy Amy and Rob ************October 22, 2017 at 8:21 pm #661796
Put ‘em in a room together.
Ask the questions.
Look @ the evidence.
See who squirms.October 22, 2017 at 8:29 pm #661797
Rob won’t give me any evidence. My mind is going crazy right nowOctober 22, 2017 at 8:34 pm #661798
No evidence = he’s lying.October 22, 2017 at 9:14 pm #661802
You are listening to messed up people? Why?
Your BF is calm cause there is nothing to be nervous about.
I would believe my BF. Block all these people……they are drama and are jealous.October 22, 2017 at 9:59 pm #661811
I do not like drama and i have let go of people (friends) who are so negative and full of drama. I could never get myself involve with a man who’s friends and/or family are like this. I would have ended the relationship especially if its just new. But that’s just me.October 22, 2017 at 10:36 pm #661818
I really just want to know if my boyfriend is cheating or not because my insecurities have been going crazy and my mind is so full of so many negative thoughts and questions right nowOctober 22, 2017 at 10:37 pm #661819
Like what would Rob say it in the first place? I’m pulling out my hair right now. I Dont want to be one of those girls who think they have the most perfect boyfriend but then one day she finds out her boyfriend is actually married and has three kids…..October 22, 2017 at 10:53 pm #661823
He said it to make you nervous just like you are. If he has no evidence he is blowing smoke up your a&s hun. I don’t know why you are letting this guy bother you. I mean, if your bf is acting shady or gone for long periods of time, then you might worry, but then you should worry regardless of what Rob said. This Rob guy is likely a liar and your bf is right you should block him.October 22, 2017 at 11:00 pm #661826
You’re BF actually sounds like a mess. I’d be much more concerned that he doesn’t know how to set proper boundaries and the people closest to him are toxic and dysfunctional.
They say you can tell much about a person by those they choose to associate with, expecially the people they are closest with.
I have found it to be an excellent indicator of people in general.
This dynamic is completely unhealthy and this will not get better. I think they all need counseling. No way would I tolerate this kind of drama and toxicity in my life. This is a circus.
You are missing all kinds of red flags.October 22, 2017 at 11:01 pm #661827
breanne, rob’s just saying it because nothing else has been working and your bf, who’s likely innocent, is asking you to block him because it’s a serious accusation and the last dang straw. when have our brains going into overthinking hyperdrive ever been a good thing? rob’s trying to break you up. are you gonna let him win?October 22, 2017 at 11:19 pm #661829
Thank you everybody for calming me down. I have failed to mention that Cathy and Amy are people he has met online and has never met in person. Cathy and Amy arent even in the same state as my bf. He calls them best friends because the two have been there for him when his brother committed suicide. He shut himself out of the real world when it happened and found some escape online for a while…this happened 2 years before we met. Rob also has never met Cathy but they bond through their mental illness. You guys say it is a red flag, but I honestly like him and may even be in love with him. I feel like he cant let go of Cathy because he always wants to save those who want to take their own life because of his brother…
Rob however is my bfs cousin and goes to the same school as my bf. I’ve never met Rob in person because my bf hates his guts. I have met my bfs real life circle of friends and they are completely level headed and “normal” people. The message of Rob’s was just out of no where for me and it got me going bonkers.
What can I do to get those thoughts of my bf cheating out of my mind? I feel as if I will be extra careful now if hes late for dinner or he replies late…you know what I mean?October 23, 2017 at 10:59 am #661933
Oh for God’s sake, your bf has online best friends he has never met? Your man is the problem. You can’t depend on a guy like that for future marriage and children. You need to pick a better man.
All this drama is not worth it. He has dumped the drama on you, not the friends.. and you let it mess up your life.
I would tell the bf you’ve had it with the drama and he can find some other sucker to dump it onOctober 23, 2017 at 12:19 pm #661967
Is this a new cable channel? ‘Asylum101?’October 23, 2017 at 12:29 pm #661974
What?! So these people aren’t even real friends?!
How well do you know your bf? You’ve been together 6 months and you still think there may be a wife and kids? How often do you see him?October 23, 2017 at 12:49 pm #661980
You want to know one thing? Forget Rob, Cathy and Amy. I think you should focus on your BF. He is living a delusional life. Online best friends, History of Suicide in his family. Not making fun of the situation but there’s something wrong with your BF and his life. You probably won’t be the one knowing that your bf was cheating but might realize that your BF has some mental issues. A person who wants to live a drama free life aka a healthy life would separate himself from all this negativity. He seems to be liking it and hence not getting rid of these people. The best thing your BF could do for his best friends is report them so they are taken care of. He can’t stop them or isn’t physically with them all the time when committing suicide occurs in those friend’s mind.
I strongly suggest you take yourself out of this drama. How can you love someone or be in an healthy environment with so much drama?October 23, 2017 at 1:06 pm #661985
I’m sorry but ALL of you sound crazy! Your boyfriend is best friends with a girl he met online who he has actually NEVER met and she dated your boyfriend’s mentally ill cousin who has also never met her!! And both of these women who are his “best friends” he has never met. Your boyfriend could be the most amazing, loving, wonderful, amazing person on the face of this Earth but the fact he allows any of this to continue show he loves drama and has no idea how to put boundaries in place. The fact he allowed these people into his life and calls them his “best friends’ is enough reason or you to leave. This story is only complicated because he allows it to be. I would never envision a future with a man like this. He needs serious counseling regarding his brother’s suicide. The fact this Cathy girl threatens suicide when she doesn’t get her way is emotional abuse. Healthy people cut toxic people and drama from their lives. That don’t allow it or encourage it and they certainly don’t go looking for it over the internet. Do you realize how easy it would be to cut people you’ve NEVER MET out of your life? Does it even make sense to you why he allows it to continue? The least of your worries are whether your boyfriend is cheating on you! I can’t imagine putting up with this for 6 weeks much less 6 months.
I agree you need to remove yourself from this mess. You can never have a normal healthy relationship with someone like this.October 23, 2017 at 1:42 pm #662001
I agree that I do get drained with the drama and Ive told him many times to cut these people out his life. He has only cut Amy and Rob out but not Cathy. I dont know why it is hard for him to let go of Cathy. He says he doesnt want anything happening on his behalf since of his brother.
What should I tell him girls? Please help me on words to say. You all are telling me to break up with him…it is very hard news.
I really want to be with him. Other than the drama (blocked all of them now) hes a great boyfriend and my family is really fond of him.October 23, 2017 at 1:45 pm #662004
Let me guess. You never even met the bf in person either.October 23, 2017 at 1:49 pm #662005
Wow, I see my bf almost everyday in person.October 23, 2017 at 1:59 pm #662010
Then why are his ‘best friends’ people he never even met? Sounds nuts to me