So many Emotionally unavailable guys!!!

I don’t think you should lower your standards for anyone, I think this is just the day and age of the dating world we are living in but what I have found is that SOME men don’t really want to truly make the effort, to court you to win you over. Everything is so easily accessible to them if you are a bit of hard work they loose interest!

I think what ‘Sensa’ said was true that it is important to truly live in the moment but then does this mean that you reject all the guys that don’t want what you want or be open minded to the hook ups and FWB relationships in a bid to see what comes of it?

@Vera I personally don’t think it’s shallow.. I’ll explain

Men are known to go after beautiful and attractive women. They are visual creatures and of course they’ll choose the most beautiful girl between two girls who have the same qualities in other areas. It’s only shallow if that’s the only thing they want in a woman just as it’s shallow for a woman to go after a man just for his money.

Men and women don’t choose their mate the same way. In general, men go after who they are attracted to the most and women go after the most successful men (who can provide for them).

Does that mean that all average (or below average) women will be single forever and unwanted? Of course not! What’s great with men (and many things in life) is that they don’t all have the same tastes. An ‘average’ looking woman can happen to be the most beautiful woman to the man who loves her. And just because society thinks that a certain type of women are the most beautiful doesn’t mean that all men on earth will be attracted to her.

There’re a lot of double standards in dating. Women complain when men go after the skinny type and men complain when women go after the 6ft something guy. Women complain when men go after the young attractive women while men complain that women go for the richest guy.
We are wired differently because of biology.

Now I can understand that this can make some women insecure, but being confident is sexy no matter how you look. Men marry the woman they love and who make them feel a certain way and at the end of the day, that really has nothing to do with your facial features and your body type (even though it can help a little to attract them first).

Great post Asayi!

Its true, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I’ve known very beautiful woman (and men) and be great at catching a guy/gal but keeping them was a whole different ball of wax! I’ve also known an unattractive woman draw men to her like honey because she exuded this natural charm and charisma that men found super attractive even though she wasn’t physically attractive.

I liken dating today like and over indulgence of house hunting. Back in the early 90’s when I was selling real estate there was a new realtor in our office who for some reason believed the buyer needed to see every house on the market! Not kidding, where she had taken them to literally over 30+ showings and I was thinking to myself how on earth can you expect them to make a choice if they are bombarded with too many choices? Interestingly enough, that was the very thing that forced them to stop looking—too many choices that they could no longer decide what they even liked or wanted anymore.

I took the opposite approach where I carefully LISTENED to specifically what they needed and were looking for within their price range. I narrowed it down to the top three, only showed them those homes and sure enough they were in a contact that day!

I now can see how this “overload” is harming humans today. Like children’s toys, they now have so many *choices* v. a limited few to the point their brain becomes so overloaded and saturated with information, images and messages, that they are no longer able to make an informed choice as to which is the best one, so they keep seeking, looking or trying new one’s and can never seem to be happy with the one’s they have.

Just my perception based on dating back in the day when you had a limited pool of choices and so it was easy to pick just one v. today where you have an endless supply of faces where you like one and swipe, then a better one comes along so they like/swipe that one, then another comes along and they like/swipe that one…you get the gist.