Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › So confused – should I give up hope on him
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by
QH.
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Amy
I met a guy through tinder and we have been on 5 dates. Our messaging has been pretty much every day, but only a couple of messages and hours in between replies. I last sent a message 24 hours ago. He has read it but not responded. He has never left it this long to message back before. Should I accept he has lost interest? Should I message again with a question to give him something to respond to? I am driving myself crazy about this. Please help!
Avalanche
It’s been only 24 hours! Lost interested because it’s been 24 hours. He might be busy, it’s not sustainable to be messaging every single day and it’s clear he isn’t into texting. Personally I hate guys who can text for hours instead of meeting up. He’ll contact you!
Kalyn
I know that the popular advice is that 24 hours isn’t long at all after 5 dates and that men get busy and don’t think about texting as much as we do. All of that is technically true but I’ve never dated a man who was seriously interested in me would let 24 hours go by without communicating, even if he wasn’t a big texter.
It’s early. Have the two of you discussed what it is you’re looking for at this time? It’s entirely likely that he’s seeing other people. This doesn’t necessarily mean it isn’t going anywhere…men (and women) often date multiple people until they decide to see one person exclusively but his low communication probably suggests that either he isn’t there yet with you or he doesn’t see it going there.
I definitely wouldn’t throw in the towel after 24 hours but I would also let him reach out to you next and not text him again. And, I wouldn’t stop dating other people until he shows a lot more interest and makes you a more of a priority.
Better off single
I’d say this guy probably is not very interested if he isn’t setting up dates or meetups and is just wasting your time texting you to make you think he is still interested while pursuing other prospects.
Stay busy. Do your best to put hum out of your thoughts
Jo
Do not reach out. If you ask a question and he replies it tells you nothing except that he isn’t totally bad mannered. If he doesn’t reply you will feel like an idiot. Worst case it will annoy him. All you can do is give it more time and see if he comes to you.
Khadija
At this point don’t panic or think the worse.
24 hours really isn’t that long and it doesn’t mean he’s lost interest.Don’t reach out again and see what he does.
If a whole week goes by then I’d say he isn’t interested.
Dangerouse
24 hours is a deliberate letting you know where you stand. Get the message.
Don’t even think about reaching out. Be pissed and insulted and suck up your gut and move on like a woman.
Dangerouse
I do this all the time to guys I’m not interested in.. I don’t mean to be rude by not responding, I just don’t have anything to say because I don’t care. Its like a chore, put off until tomorrow thinking of something polite to say.
Obviously, any guy I would date would be smart enough to get the hint. And I respect them for getting the message rather than pretending to think we are still friends.
Sensy
You’re giving him way too much power. Take back your power with the attitude that you don’t even want to give any energy to someone who’s not totally into you.
LJ
24 hours go by and some people are ready to line the entire thing with dynamite and push the plunger? That’s ridiculous. It almost seems like some people are trying to
do a parody of bad advice. What does a person gain by being reactionary within 24 hours?Give it at least a TINY bit of time – a TINY BIT hasn’t even passed by yet! It’s not like a person is going to miss out on The One because they didn’t put themselves out there to date just a day earlier. And getting angry seems like a terrible way to spend emotions. Calm down, give it another day or two. Then reach-out – don’t buy into the meaningless notion that the man has to “lock a person down” – it’s fine to initiate. If it looks like you’re getting nowhere after a few days, let it go.
QH
Hi Amy,
I also met a guy on tinder and we had four dates so far. What I can tell you is, don’t drive yourself crazy about him not texting back for 24 hours. But stay realistic at the same time.
I think it depends on how far your dates are apart from each other. We met four times within a week. If your dates are not timely close together, he might also be dating someone else.
You have to see it this way. If you are not exclusive he is allowed to date someone else and so should you. But if you really like him, you can send him an harmless message asking about how he is doing.
but the most important thing is to just do things that you normally do, follow up with your hobbies, meeting with your friends and dates other men :)
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