Should I tell the truth?


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice Should I tell the truth?

This topic contains 14 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Caren 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #777813 Reply

    Lola

    My full time job is an esthetician. Sometimes when business is slow I do a side gig as an escort.
    I’ve been dating this guy for 4 months now. I had to escort only once in the time since I’ve known him.
    We recently had the exclusive talk and while he was the one suggesting it I’m afraid he’ll learn about side gig.
    I don’t want to turn to escorting but sometimes I need to pay the bills, not buying anything more extravagant than my groceries or paying the rent.
    Should I tell him I’ve done this sort of thing before? I don’t think he’d be ok with it.

    #777817 Reply

    Kathy

    If you really want to date him, I’d get another side gig.. You’re right, I’m sure he wouldn’t be okay with it.

    #777823 Reply

    Better off single

    Live within your means or break it off.

    #777826 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    This isn’t something that you should lie to a partner about. No judgement on the escorting at all, but if you are having sex with other people you are putting him at risk and he deserves to know. Not to mention, it’s cheating if you have agreed to be sexually exclusive.

    So the way I see it, you either be honest with him about it, or get another side gig. If you know he won’t be okay with it (and I’m sure the majority of men would not), and you want to be with him, then stop doing it. If you’ve only had to do it once in the past few months, you aren’t getting that much money from it anyway. I don’t know how much you charge, but let’s say you charge $1000. That’s $1000 in the past 4 months, or $250/month. You can easily find some side gig that will pay you that amount, that you won’t have to be ashamed to tell your boyfriend about.

    #777833 Reply

    Warasen

    Don’t tell him. Just stop escorting when you decide to be monogamous with him or anyone. No one needs details of their lover’s past. Under the best of circumstances that’s too much information. Make sure you 2 are disease free.

    #777881 Reply

    Ames

    The fact that you’re asking shows that you care about his feelings and are a good person. How do you feel about being an occasional escort? It’s a new relationship I don’t think he needs to know. He could be sleeping with other women and isn’t necessarily obliged to tell you..Estheticians can make good money right? Is this your passion? If so maybe you can pour your heart into your business..advertise etc. Have your clients tell other people about you. Offer monthly discounts or have a party at the salon or someone’s house to advertise yourself. Surely you are worth more than being an escort. Absolutely no judgment hun but it is worrisome in terms of your safety etc..I don’t think any amount of money is worth your life or self respect etc..all the best

    #777883 Reply

    AllieM

    No man I can think of would willingly date a prostitute. Come on, stop calling it escort. Call it what it really is. You let men have use of your body for money. If you want to do that and put your safety and health at that much risk, that’s your decision. But you haven’t got the right to have sex with him and not tell him you’re having sex with strangers. You know perfectly well that if you tell him he will drop you. Almost any guy would. Would you want to date a man who was an escort?? I doubt it.

    So you have a choice to make. Do you want to keep using your sexual organs to make money and not date or do you want to do other things to develop your career and build your earning power and be proud of who you are and what you do and not have to keep dirty little secrets from everyone you know?

    #777888 Reply

    Lane

    I’m in agreement with Warasen, don’t say nothing but don’t engage in this activity when in a relationship. When your single you are free to see or have sex with anyone you want, whether you are paid with cash, a drink or a nice dinner, as I don’t see the difference honestly, especially in today’s easy sex environment. However, I would not accept this ‘exclusive agreement’ thing either. Its either “GF” with the goal of seeing if there’s a future, or nothing.

    I would clarify what he means by ‘exclusive’ because not all men see it the same way so its a slippery slope when using that word v. one you know the meaning of, such as Girlfriend, fiance’, or wife. Get clarification first, then decide if you should give the side job up or not.

    #777898 Reply

    Lola

    Thank you for all the thoughtful replies. I decided that I won’t go with the exclusive relationship until he and I discuss it further.

    I prefer to not do the escorting but sometimes at the end of the month I just don’t have enough for rent. It’s mostly a tip based business and it’s not always a steady income.

    #778034 Reply

    Newbie

    What are your feelings for this guy? If you feel like he could be the man you are looking for, then im not sure if holding off on exclusivity would help you. In his mind he will probably think you still want to sleep around while its another reason thats holding you back. I think it does boils down to if you want to stay an escort when money issues are getting urgent.
    I think i would rather lie for a while honestly if you really see potential in this man.
    Meanwhile if you have a job where your income is so unsure, that you dont even know if you can make ends meet (or ends meat? Lol) then you have the wrong job long term. Of course thats grandma talking here but i say it because i dont want you to lose a guy because you had to find a way to pay the bills

    #778037 Reply

    Khadija

    First and foremost find another side gig.
    There are plenty of other things you could be doing.
    I would also find ways to expand your clientele, so you aren’t short on rent money.

    In any case if you tell him, he will probably dump you. However, you can’t continue escorting and putting his health in jeopardy. So at the very least if you want to keep seeing him this needs to stop now.

    #778043 Reply

    Caren

    One thing no one’s mentioned… escorting or whatever you want to to dress it up as is ILLEGAL. My brother’s a vice cop and they conduct sting operations all the time. You don’t want a criminal record for prostitution for the rest of your life, do you?? Find another “side gig” for crying out loud.

    #778099 Reply

    LJ

    Caren, I don’t think anyone mentioned that fact because the OP may not be from the same country that you are. Different countries may accept escorting (“sex work”) as a normal part of humanity.

    #778158 Reply

    Teresa

    I would not lie or hide the fact you are escorting. If you do and this progresses to something more serious, he will be furious you kept such a significant piece of info from him.

    Granted it may turn some off but a guy who really wants to love you wont be ok with other men inside you. Unless he sees you as something more casual, in that case I suppose he wouldn’t care.

    Some men, either way though may be concerned about your genital health and passing something undesirable to them.

    #778164 Reply

    Caren

    That’s a fair point, but the US is the one of the few societies that has a number of professions that are tip-based. An esthetician dependent on tips sounds like she’s US.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
Reply To: Should I tell the truth?
Your information:





<blockquote> <code> <pre> <em> <strong> <ul> <ol start=""> <li>