Should I Go After Him?


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Emma 1 month ago.

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  • #746739 Reply

    Jess

    so i met this guy about 2 weeks ago. he’s my friend’s boyfriend’s friend. we all went to a music festival together and i thought he was really cute and my friend was trying to set me up with him the entire night but i don’t like getting set up with people. if i like someone, i’ll go after them myself. anyways, i posted a pic from that night the next day and he commented on it. it was a funny comment, nothing too much. my friend immediately texted me and was like he commented on your pic and i was like yeah i know. she then proceeded to say that he only comments on girls’ pics if he likes them or thinks they’re cute or whatever. i honestly thought she was reading into it too much but i gave in and let her talk to him about me. she said he said that he thought i was pretty cool but didn’t really give much. i kinda was like whatever about it. i wasn’t gonna go after him or pursue him or anything. but then he snapped me later that night and we talked about the most random things like his cat. then he left me on open which I thought was weird. I figured maybe he was jut being nice by responding so i dropped it again. howevever, then my friend told me that her boyfriend’s group chat which includes the guy i’m talking about started talking about me saying things like ‘oh who’s your new girl” etc etc and he was like nah chill i just wanted to hit her up. my friend says he is very shy, not the upfront flirtacious guy. we have been talking for the past week but it doesn’t feel like it’s going to go anywhere. he responds very late becase it’s on snapchat and he doesn’t use it much (which is true), but i don’t want to ask for his number because i feel like it’s too soon. what should i do?

    #746755 Reply

    kaye

    Don’t do anything!! He’s obviously not THAT shy if he can comment on your picture and send snaps to you. He could ask for your number if he’s interested enough.

    #746765 Reply

    Lane

    You need to lean back and continue living your life the way you were before meeting this guy. I call BS on shy men because they do ask you out if they really like you! Maybe he’s just feeling you out first before going that route as I don’t like ‘insta dating’ and prefer to get to know people in a natural element before a romantic one.

    Again, DO NOTHING but be yourself, talk to him if he reaches out and let him lead the topics to get a better idea of who he his, what he likes and respond with a cure of funny story to keep the convo interesting….that’s it, that’s ALL you have to do and if a guy really like you he’ll ask you to do something with him.

    #746798 Reply

    Honeypie

    I agree with Lane to an extent. However some guys really do need leading! But it depends if you want to be with someone who’ll need that much leading, because if he’s shy and isn’t a guy who will come forward and be bolder, he won’t be like that in anything he does. Think about that.

    I went out with a guy a few times like that, and he said that he’d always been that way, he’d never have asked a girl out, way too under confident and scared of miss reading the situation and being knocked back. We met on line where all the work was done via that medium, so it was easier for him but it was still hard work! I didn’t stick around as his predisposition carried into all aspects of life so he wasn’t for me.

    Nothing wrong with liking his funny comment though on your picture, or putting a laughing emoji, just to help the boy along …

    #746819 Reply

    L

    I kinda couldn’t even read this…

    #746856 Reply

    Emma

    Do nothing, he is not that shy. If he is interested, he’d continue to engage with you.

    If you have an itch and can’t control yourself, then you can like something on his social media but do not go beyond that. If you start initiating, you’d be chasing. LOL

    Going after men is going to leave you wondering if he were into you in the first place. It would also prevent them from courting you properly.

    With that said, you need to flirt when occasion presents itself, and show him “signs”. with your eyes, your body language, pay him some compliments, maybe touch his shoulder or back. But do not ask him out, do not take any action. Flirt, entice and bait him. If he is into you, he’d know what to do. Your flirting will tell him that he will not be rejected.

    If he doesn’t, it is important not to push. If he doesn’t fall for your flirting, then do nothing again.

    You never win by chasing men. LOL Showing interest and flirting is not chasing, taking actions is. Let him start all conversations, but you can occasionally ‘like’ things. He needs to ask for your number, he if he doesn’t then you still don’t. For as long as it takes.

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