This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by redcurleysue 6 months, 3 weeks ago.
January 26, 2018 at 11:46 am #681035
Guy in my extended friends circle is attractive to me, smart, down to earth – desirable. He’s complimented me before awhile back. Also months ago while all gathered to watch movies at a friends’ . He went to store for me, talked more, very attentive, then hours in he held his hand on my waist & traced a finger on my lower back. I leaned on his shoulder. We didn’t address it any time later.
Just had a vacation & my friends & his ended up in same city. He crashed at our hotel one night joining my me & our female friend’s bed ( me in middle) . We all slept with great distance between us then in morning only he & I woke up. He threw his arm across my leg & I stretched out turning towards him. He began to rub his hand around my knee then massage my upper to inner thigh & I just played with his arm/ shirt sleeve. We dozed off until my friend went to shower then we joked about her singing, a little later he started again caressing again – closer inside my thigh, I held my hand on his wrist and touched his hand on me to show I was cool with everything.
My friend came out shower & it all stopped. He left hotel when I got ready but we saw him at beach & went out dancing with he and his friends again. As always we barely talked.
We just got back to our hometown & nothing is different , it’s like we just get possessed in moments then it’s like nothing happened to be addressed. I thought to say something when he was… massaging, but just kept it unspoken. And maybe it was a missed opportunity. Should I bring it up? We don’t talk about relationships, dating or anything personal to each other. He’s never aggressive ( I like the touching) , but it is something happening that just confuses me, and asking “what are we doing/ what do you think of me” seems out of place. How do I approach it?
January 26, 2018 at 11:52 am #681036
Sounds like he just wants to get in your pants.
He seems very sneaky when he does this, are you sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend or something?
If you looking for a fling by all means bring it up.January 26, 2018 at 12:40 pm #681040
Hmm maybe you are right.
I know he doesn’t have a Gf. He is this way in front of other people & one of his best friend’s is a friend of mine so I’d know that much. He’s reserved in general, even around his friends and family so it’s hard to read him.
When I met his brother he talked him up to meJanuary 26, 2018 at 1:36 pm #681045
This guy is not trying to flirt or woo you. He is seeing how ‘far’ he can go with you physically — and he doesn’t even talk to you when does it. He is creepin’ on your body with his hands, trying to get first base, second base, etc. He does not even wait for you to have any privacy. He is getting a thrill out of it. He is not trying to make a connection.
Are you okay with this? You “showed you are cool with it.”
What are you looking for? If you want a relationship, this is not how to get one. If you want to have sex, with no strings, go for it. I’d make sure he wears a condom as he does this a lot, certainly.January 26, 2018 at 1:39 pm #681047
p.s. You don’t know men if you think they wouldn’t cheat on their girl in front of their bro friends. I’ve seen that and worse.January 26, 2018 at 2:20 pm #681057
That makes sense as well.
I guess I was ok with physical attention because In a 25+ yr old virgin and my hormone are raging lol. But I don’t want to do casual sex if I’ve waited this long for relationship sexJanuary 26, 2018 at 2:45 pm #681061
I’m sure a lot of women here will tell you, yes, you should wait.
I am going to give you some different advice. I am going to tell you if you want to have sex, have sex, for pete’s sake! The “first” time is usually awkward and bad and there is never any telling what the universe has in store for you. You might not find “the one” until you are 38.January 26, 2018 at 2:46 pm #681062
(And please don’t ‘buy in’ that having sex means you are less pure or that the sex you have after that will be less special. Barf.)January 26, 2018 at 4:37 pm #681084
I once had a very similar situation with a man at work. We would do a lot of touching, massaging, stolen looks, smiles, etc. But we never talked about it! It was exciting and certainly made the work day more fun. To this day, I do not understand why we did all that open flirting (co workers even commented on it), but never talked about what and why we would behave this way. We no longer work together, he never asked me out, and I still smile when I remember how exciting our interactions were. But I can understand your confusion.January 26, 2018 at 9:50 pm #681108
If it was some other girl in the middle of the bed snuggling up to him, he would have tried to cop a feel as well. It’s not you, babe, he’s horney.January 27, 2018 at 6:59 pm #681180
Yeah…he’s a coworker too lol. At a side job so I just see him at work a few times a monthJanuary 27, 2018 at 7:01 pm #681181
Thanks. Not going to put first time on a pedestal. Just want it to be someone I’ll be comfortable / trusting withJanuary 27, 2018 at 7:18 pm #681182
What happens outside the bedroom is more important than what happens in the bedroom.
If you cannot talk walk away from this one.