This topic contains 12 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kayla 3 months, 4 weeks ago.
April 20, 2018 at 12:46 pm #698180
Hi, my bf and I have been together for 1 year and 9 months.
Lately when we were on dates he would be chatting in the phone with his friends and that led us to have some arguments, because I find it unrespectful towards me.
I was avoiding to say something, though I was even wondering if he could be talking to any other women, since it seems he was stuck to his phone 24/7.
On our last date, and I admit, I went already in the mood of “let’s see if he is stuck to his phone again”, we got a huge argument, because indeep he started to type again. So I told him I was done since it seems he doesn’t even enjoy our time together.
He got mad at me and told me a friend just told him his father had lung cancer, and that he was talking a bit to him. It made me feel bad. And now I don’t know if I overreacted. But I feel he always have an excuse. The other time I complained a coworker had an urgent situation…
I don’t know if I should apologize or not, I really hate when we are dating and he is typing every 15 min, but I don’t know if I’m being egoistical and should say I’m sorry.
Tell me what do you think.
April 20, 2018 at 12:53 pm #698182
Hell no. Stand up for yourself. You are absolutely right.April 20, 2018 at 12:59 pm #698184
He thinks I’m in the wrong completely, or at least he acts that way, so we are in bad terms at the moment.
On one hand I don’t mind to apologize if that will help to fix it.
On the other hand I imagine him typing every 10 minutes on our next day and is a red flag.
I know him good, he is very headstrong, I’m sure he thinks I’m completely egoistical and want his attention just for myself everytime. I don’t know how he can’t see it is unrespecful being with the phone that much during a date, but he can’t.April 20, 2018 at 2:07 pm #698195
I don’t even believe his excuses.. Maybe true, probably not..
Just too much going on in his life to pay that much attention to you.. Not!
No one is THAT occupied without being rude
I would back off for awhile and let him know why. You can tell him why nicely and then see if this improves. I would not apologizeApril 20, 2018 at 2:14 pm #698196
I think being on the phone during a date is disrespectful.
So every time you go on a date some crisis is happening? I think not.
I agree with Kathy I’d back on and see what happens but, I would not apologize.April 20, 2018 at 2:22 pm #698199
I also can’t believe him, and I hate to say this, because I think he is great, but either we have a really awful timing and everything happens while we are together or it can’t be real.
My head is starting to play with me, and I can’t help thinking a guy wouldn’t talk that much with his male friends. So it even crossed my mind if he is having an affair.
Then I feel bad for thinking the worst. But what can I think? I also think he gets bored with me. I’m starting to hate the phone.
I wanted to open this thread because I was feeling bad after he called me egoistical. If the friend really contacted him because the father has cancer, I feel bad complaining, but it happened so many times already….there is always happening, I don’t know.April 20, 2018 at 2:49 pm #698206
When a man is with you he should be present and call his friend to find out what is happening after you are finished with the date.
That is not your fault, but his. He is rude.
If you started fights about this you should apologize about fighting, but insist that your time with him is your time. If he cannot see that he is being rude find another BF.April 20, 2018 at 3:18 pm #698207
I do think you should say you’re sorry in this instance. You were wrong to say “I’m done” accusing him of not enjoying your time together. You were being a drama queen sounding like you wanted to break up over him being on the phone. Give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s telling the truth about his friend.
Say I’m sorry for how I acted when you were texting your friend about his dad’s cancer diagnosis, but it seems every time we’re together lately your constantly on your phone. And that makes me feel like our time together isn’t important to you or I’m not a priority. I understand you need to get back to your friends, family and coworkers, but I’d like you to put down the phone and focus on me when we’re out on a date. I really hate to see those couples who are both on their phones ignoring each other while they’re sitting at the same table together. I don’t want that to become us.
And then let him respond and really listen to what he says. When my husband and I were dating he never did this when we were on dates. But as we got to where we were together most of the time on the weekends he obviously had to answer his phone and respond back to people. You can’t expect him to live in a bubble when the two of you are together for long periods of time, but you can expect his full attention while out to dinner together!!April 20, 2018 at 4:26 pm #698209
Hi-I agree with Kaye and would take her advice. This issue should never have got to this point as it should have been brought up when the phone/date thing started. Why not agree to leave both your phones at home or turned off during dates. If he has a fit again or won’t respect your request,then I would rethink the relationship.April 20, 2018 at 4:47 pm #698214
I would not apoogize but I would look at this as a serious addiction no differently than any other (gaming, alcohol, drugs, etc). When someone is that compulsive to the point they CAN’T STOP and come up with excuses as to why they won’t, then it’s a much bigger problem than what your attempting to fix.
This is becoming a very real problem in our society; whereas it is affecting how people drive, communicate, socialize, work (or rather not work) and function. Cell phones have become an appendage, like an arm, where they feel completely lost if they dont have their phone on them!
I think you need to take a different approach and treat it like an addiction. Dealing with addicts takes a different skill level and degree of knowledge to get them to SEE they have a problem and how it’ negatively affects their partner, the relationship and possibly other areas of their life.
Tough position to be in!April 20, 2018 at 5:17 pm #698221
I would not apologize. It is not your fault what happened to his friend’s dad. He could have told you that. He could have explained why he was typing. He should have apologized to YOU!
By now even house pets now typing on a cell phone while meeting with someone is RUDE.
If he is strong headed especially do not apologize. He knows it is NOT all your fault, he is simply bullying you.
People test and push our boundaries all the time, in various ways, at work and in private lives. We all need to learn how to manage this.
Do not sulk and be upset. He is the one who is RUDE.
If you have suspicions about him having an affair then again why would you apologize? You are already angry, feel mistreated, potentially hurt – and you are considering apologies?
Women need to be a little more reasonable. LOL LOL
I would honestly give him a piece of my mind. LOL I would not hide my feelings because in your case you have all reasons to be pissed off. I’d say look I wanted to see yo today but I remembered that you spend all your time on the phone so lets just cancel. And do not ap0ologize if he starts pushing thing sat you. Say you “got busy”, Yes all of a sudden, an incoming call about a mission critical situation that requires your immediate attention. BYE. LOL
Do not allow someone else’s rudeness to spoil YOUR life. LOL. Throw it back at them and let them SULK. LOLApril 22, 2018 at 8:32 am #698332
Tell him to date his phone and walk away – preferably throw your napkin on your meal….(ignore his txting/phone use prior) and shove your playe towards him – stand up…all on one move hahaha, flick your hair and walk away!!!
See if he comes gets you – if not.
HIS Loss, he can date his phone! ;)April 22, 2018 at 12:08 pm #698357
Here is my question. What is so important he has to text and talk to others every 15 minutes? Surely every text isn’t an emergency. I was with a man who did this and he was cheating. He was talking to other women on text while dating me. I have no idea if that’s the case here, but it is disrespectful and shows that his ‘friends’ messaging is more important than giving you undivided attention on a date. Surely he has plenty time to respond to texts in between dates?
Not sure I agree it to be an addiction. I think it shows lack of awareness, manners and a sense of self importance that he be on call for anyone who reaches out to him.
Does he do this when you are out in other settings. For example if you go out with friends does he also non stop text?
I would tell him once and only once that he can date his phone or me. Then I would leave the date and let him think on it.
The fact he didn’t do this for most your relationship and just started this pattern, I would find it really suspect.