She slept with someone else while we were dating


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This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Better off Single 2 months ago.

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  • #694972 Reply

    Jud4

    Jud2 said:
    Today 12:12 AM
    I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 10 months. At the start I took her out on two dates and then for a week or so she stopped texting me, then came back out of the blue. We went out on a third date and then progressed through to our current relationship. I just found out that after she met me she went out on a girls night out and met someone else. She went on several dates with him and ended up sleeping with him. She states this was a mistake, that she wishes it hadn’t happened. Our relationship was fine up until this discovery but this has upset me and caused me to think about whether we should continue even though I love her.

    #694977 Reply

    redcurleysue

    Were you exclusive at the time? If not then she had the right to do as she wanted……if you were exclusive then she cheated and is not worth your time, find a more honest GF.

    #694978 Reply

    Emma

    How did you find out? Did she tell you or someone else told you? Did you two have sex before she slept with someone else?

    #694979 Reply

    Jud4

    No we hadn’t slept together when she went off the radar for a couple of weeks. We weren’t exclusive I guess and I found out by seeing a pic of her on social media with this guy.

    #694982 Reply

    Ali

    I know this stings, but if you weren’t exclusive, had never had any kind of discussion about being in a relationship, and you hadn’t slept together yet, she didn’t do anything wrong.

    In early dating, people often go out with a few people around the same time — sometimes this will progress to physical intimacy. You weren’t her boyfriend. She was single. she did absolutely nothing wrong.

    #694999 Reply

    Dee

    I think you should give her a pass on this one. You weren’t exclusive at the time and you weren’t intimate. It was just casual dating at the time. You weren’t in an established relationship like you are now. When I met my BF of almost 4 years now, he was dating someone else for about 2 weeks. He was up front about it and told me I could do the same. So we casually dated but realized within about 3 weeks we were awesome together so we both stopped dating others and became exclusive. You seemed to never have a conversation like this so I would not dwell on it. When you 1st start dating someone it’s not exclusive until you both agree to it. HOWEVER, I would have a conversation with her and let her know it bothers you but now that you are exclusive and in an established relationship you will not tolerate infidelity. Let her know where you stand and make sure she agrees with you. Once this is established if you both love each other you should be fine. Don’t let something like this ruin what you have and what could be the one. If she had done it last month I’d say run but this isn’t her cheating. This was just her casually dating until she found the man she wanted to be exclusive with. She obviously chose you! Congrats! Be happy about that and move forward.

    #695003 Reply

    alia

    That is American style dating. It’s hard to wrap your head around it sometimes, but she didn’t really do anything “wrong”. Enjoy your relationship now and move on from the early dating.

    #695013 Reply

    kaye

    I think your title is inaccurate. You weren’t “dating” when she slept with someone else. You had only gone on 2 dates and hadn’t discussed being exclusive or not dating other people. She spent a couple weeks deciding whether or not she liked this other guy and in the end she picked you and here you are 10 months later. I know it hurts to think she was with another guy after you met her, but if she’s been faithful since then and you trust her then this is definitely something you can get over and work toward a future together. I assume you wouldn’t know she went on several dates with this guy and slept with him unless you asked her about the picture and she was honest with you. If your relationship was fine up to this point it should be fine again. You love her and I would treat this just like any other guy she slept with before you two start dating. They are in the past.

    #695023 Reply

    Emma

    If you only went on 2 dates and did not have sex, then you need to let it go. Of course you feel hurt, it is natural, but in this case you shouldn’t let it get to you. If you slept together, this would be different. Dating or not dating casual or not casual, once you have sex, things change. But you haven’t slept together at that time and you were not even “dating” yet. Only two dates is just a start. Let it go kiddo. LOL

    #695408 Reply

    Evans

    My advice to you is that,just stop that relationship, is it mandatory that you need to sleep with her to show that you are in a relationship? certainly not.
    Even if you continued with that relationship,what proof do you have that she won’t sleep with someone else. she has just shown you her true colours of what she can do When you aren’t available.
    Learn from it and Change your Direction.

    #698653 Reply

    Blake

    Hi….jud4
    I read your thread, follow your heart…
    if you still love her, forgive her and continue your relationship again.
    Or find someone who can listen to your problem and be someone special in your life.
    Check this site girlstravelling(dot)com ,this is a great site, to find someone who can change your life
    I used this site, and met many in this site, who one of them be a special person in my life. I recommend this site for you

    #699777 Reply

    Aca

    As alia said, this is American style dating where you treat sex like a commodity, have one night stands, sleep with people you barely know after a date or two, have high divorce rates then suddenly become prudish and upset when you realize the person you partnered with has been with a lot of people before and during you. Stop pretending like you are the innocent, hurt party here and you haven’t done similar stuff to other ladies or ghosted women after one night stands. And if you haven’t then maybe you and your current girlfriend should part ways but I strongly suspect you are similarly matched in your ‘morals’. Get over it dude and stop looking for something to be upset about when you aren’t a paragon of virtue yourself. You weren’t exclusive.

    #732240 Reply

    Matt

    I am I total agreement. She did nothing wrong but this shows she has wandering eyes as if she was Into you fully she would not have been sleeping with anyone else.

    #732245 Reply

    Better off Single

    Could it be possible Matt he may have been showing low interest between dates?

    Low interest to me is “okay, I was really into this guy, he’s not stepping up with the communication or wants to play games so I’m going to keep looking. If he wants to continue to talk, I won’t completely write him off. I won’t stop keeping my options open until I know it’s a sure thing.”

    There’s no point in getting upset over something that happened that can not be changed. You either move forward or move on.

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