This topic contains 31 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Eva 2 months ago.
April 13, 2019 at 7:01 pm #745900
This guy(close with family),a close friend of mine,who had distanced himself from me after knowing about my crush for him or some other reason that idk because he never explained.(he just said that i broke his trust).He was dating a girl secretly and i found out.But I tried to play cool bcz I had never confessed to him.anyway I moved on.But 3 year later,
Because of a family function, during a outing this happened.
I just asked him that if I could sleep on terrace so if he please could go downstairs.(Terrace had a room, which he already had chosen to sleep)
It was noisy and uncomfortable downstairs.(We both being teetotaller,ended up like this wanting to sleep peacefully)
So he just said that we have to share here.
we decided that he will sleep in the room and i chose to sleep in open.i slept there on floor and then maybe half an hour later He came outside .It was hot inside So he came outside to the terrace.I felt so nervous at that time lol.He was like 2-3 feet away from me lying on floor. But the funny thing is that i was freezing outside, because temperature was falling.So after a while i got up,to which he reacted shockingly looking at me(i thought he was afraid that i might jump on to him lol) so i told him that its really cold here so i am going into the room.I offered him my blanket as it was gonna be chilly outside,to which he replied that it was hot inside the room thats why he came outside.(room was really hot and uncomfortable due to daytime sun heat).
Then at midnight in my sleep i heard him asking if could come in the room , I mumbled yes in my trance.And then i heard him asking if he can close the door ,as its really chilly outside. I again mumbled yes.
It was dark and I couldn’t see clearly but I could hear him tossing and turning.
It was super weird and dramatic and i could hear my heart beating like hell again crushing for him.
Now u know i am still into him but its not like i can tell him because I don’t want to appear needy.because i think years ago that’s why he distanced himself ,to the point that not even seeing each other.
One weird thing is that from start we were friends but still not like other friends.Everything was normal but there was always a tension or nervousness between us whenever we were alone or too close in a situation.So we both used to avoid being alone by any means.
So now the old he would have chosen to go to some other place instead of being with me.So what could it be friends? Is he turned totally platonic towards me or is he trying be friends with me again or getting interested in me?
What do you think?April 13, 2019 at 7:25 pm #745901
I think your brain is on overdrive…
I think you should not get into a situation like this ever again.April 13, 2019 at 7:43 pm #745904
I’m not reading any signs of romantic interest in anything you wrote.April 14, 2019 at 7:08 am #745928
Better off single
I think he was cold and wanted to sleep where he would be warm and not go walking though the place to find a new place to sleep and disturb everyone else that were sleeping.April 14, 2019 at 12:23 pm #745956
He’s always been longarm platonic with you. I think you give off a vibes that makes him super uncomfortable being around you hence why he keeps his distance from you.
NOTHING is going on here. YOU ASKED HIM (not the other way around) if YOU could sleep on his terrace and he only obliged you out of courtesy. It was hot in the room and he wanted to sleep on the terrace, then it got too cool outside and wanted to go back inside…normal behavior when one is hot or cold and was tossing because he couldn’t get comfortable in his room with you there. A friend talks, shares and/or wants to spend time with you…he doesn’t because he can sense you’re crushing on him and doesn’t have any of those feelings for you; hence why he avoids and ignores you.April 14, 2019 at 1:00 pm #745960
ps: You can not be ‘friends’ with some one you have romantic feelings for.April 14, 2019 at 3:46 pm #745983
Firstly thanku so much everyone And @ Lane @Raven
that’s why i too cut off everything with him coz i knew it.I just avoided him and behaved with same coldness as him.And maybe THATS WHY He has started initiating contact as he may be thinking that I have moved onto from him.I really don’t want to give him those vibes and gain my respect that somehow i feel that i lost being in onesided crush.(can’t avoid him as our families are close)I know there is no way to fall out of a crush. Maybe i should keep acting with coldness?April 14, 2019 at 3:55 pm #745984
Why act with coldness? Just act normal when you are at mutual events. Outside of that what need do you have to text or stay in contact? Ignore any messaging unless it relates to family event and he will get the hint.April 14, 2019 at 3:56 pm #745985
I dont want to like him and i dont want to give those vibes ,I would have avoided him forever but i cant avoid going to family!Our parents working in same field n being friends makes it impossible to cut off ties with him.I want my holidays to be peaceful and free of drama with him.but i dont know what to do.April 14, 2019 at 4:03 pm #745988
Thankyou karen.I will do that .Yup i dont initiate text unless something important.But he do initiate sometimes,to which i reply calmly (not showing my excitement).But lol you know that practically its a little bit hard to act normal with someone you like.April 14, 2019 at 4:11 pm #745989
i act strong,i never show any sign of interest totally playing it cool.But Can’t control the vibes lol.
I dated other guy but it didn’t work.April 14, 2019 at 4:36 pm #745991
And his behaviour is confusing too.I posted about it earlier that once during a get together,next morning I found him sleeping on my bed by my side but with a pillow in between. Ok pillow was the proof of platonic thing but why the hell would a guy sleep in a girl’s room? That too knowing that she likes you and thats why you always stay away from her.
He could have shared room with other boys.
I think pillow was to show off to others.But I never got his sleeping on my bed that too without my constant.I don’t even share my bed with my siblings.why he did that?April 14, 2019 at 4:42 pm #745993
Why didn’t you just ask him? Is this a youth thing or cultural thing? Once you found him in your bed why didn’t you tell him to get out of your room. I think you need to start setting boundaries with this kid, which is what it sounds like. Your parents are ok allowing a boy to sleep in your bed? How old are you both? Sound really young.April 14, 2019 at 5:21 pm #746006
I suspect there was a huge miscommunication somewhere there. You don’t know why but he said you broke his trust? this is not a small thing, why on earth didn’t you ask what he meant by this?
I think it is odd to think that a man would try to crawl into your bed and “not” like you LOL I am sure he likes you but it also looks like he wants you to “chase” him.
If you still have this “crush” on him, then why don’t you mature up and sometime during the next function, sit down and ask him what he thinks happened between you two in the past. And then jokingly give him a pillow, and say, in case you’d wonder in my bed again, you might as well play it safe. LOL Tell him his chastity will be safe with you LOL and he has nothing to worry about. In another words, first ask him what he thinks happened, and then start flirting. LOLApril 14, 2019 at 5:25 pm #746009
How does someone sneak into your bed without you knowing?April 15, 2019 at 6:33 am #746069
@karen @ L @Emma we both are 27 lol .Our parents been working together since we were kids is the reason we are close.Even his siblings and mine siblings are close because we had each other when our parents were working day night.
Our parents know us well and i guess they don’t mind us dating too because my mom once asked me how i think about him.I am even best friends with his sister.
He being platonic is normal bcz maybe he saw me as the same little girl,he used to play with and tease in childhood.
But then we got into different schools and colleges and we were no longer in touch.after collage I returned home and saw him as a grown up boy and just fell for him.Thats the time everything happened, We got close ,texting,chatting,hanging out,and mostly he teasing me just like our childhood. But at the same time he met a girl and started dating her(without telling me about that)April 15, 2019 at 6:59 am #746072
I never told him i liked him but i guess he knew it thatswhy he hid the fact that he was dating.But i found about it and just played cool.He said he was sorry and told me that he is going to make it official n i said i was happy for him.Then one day he suddenly accused me of breaking his trust( i would call it childish bcz i did nothing) and just like that we broke whatever we had.
Funny thing were the get togethers,we both acting like strangers.That rooftop incident happened after 3 years during his elder sister wedding.
I cant ask him about why he did what he did! Because i dont want to ever feel inferior in context of having onesided feelings or i would never want to chase such a guy who knew everything about me since childhood but still acted as a moron ignoring my feelings.I have a lot to say to him that i only looked at him but never asked anything from him.How could he treat me as nothing when we were so close ,if he was in love with someone else he could have told me that and talk about it. I DONT WANT to date him but still because our families are close and we keep meeting n stuff n that as children we were close ,i still feel for himApril 15, 2019 at 7:01 am #746073
The night he sneaked into bed was New year eve.We all decided to stay up but i ended up falling asleep. Others went into their rooms but he chose my room lol.i heard his sister questioning him to get up and go to someone else’s room but he said he was too tired to go( other room was next door lol)April 15, 2019 at 7:21 am #746074
My parents had no idea about it though.And there is nothing to worry for them because they know we are mature.I guess that’s why he used pillow in between in case someone else walked in or I woke up but still even I won’t dare to sleep on his bed.No one can do that lol.I regret I didn’t question him next morning.i guess i will someday in future when we meet at holidaysApril 15, 2019 at 7:27 am #746075
You sound really young for 27, if you don’t want to date him, then what’s all the fuss about? You’ve been friends since childhood, he’s probably as comfortable with you as a sibling, but you’re all in your head about this.
You really need to distract yourself from this guy because it’s not going anywhere.April 15, 2019 at 5:32 pm #746152
@Lurker i totally get that lurker.I’m focused on my career anyway.
I’ve told myself that he only saw me as buddy or sibling as you say since the day i knew he was dating.But why would a sibling hide his relationship? How would a friend react to unwanted crush ? As he did?suddenly onday without explaining or letting me a chance to speak ,just told me to not speak to him ever.He was too inconsiderate.That’s why its no big deal for him to even crawl in my bed i guess.April 15, 2019 at 5:54 pm #746154
My respect is more important to me now.I want him to feel that he was wrong being so inconsiderate. And above all making me feel like i was wrong.But there is no way .In a month or two i’ll be visiting my hometown n I don’t want to feel anything for him or expect anything from him.But still i have been chlidish enough to forget my revenge everytime lol.And see i am posting here wondering why he shared room with me n stuff lol.Honestly i want my revenge,I want to be inconsiderate and act same way as he did.April 15, 2019 at 5:54 pm #746155
Onday *one dayApril 15, 2019 at 6:34 pm #746156
You don’t want to date him but get upset and want your revenge. That makes no sense. Even friends have falling out periods and then come back together. No big deal. And him not telling you he had a gf maybe it was because he was waiting to make it official.
He’s had plenty of time to consider dating you and he hasn’t. He doesn’t seem to see you that way.
You are creating your own misery. Aren’t you dating other guys? You have too much time on your hands to keep thinking about this one.April 15, 2019 at 7:42 pm #746187
yi yi yi