Shames me for not having sex

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This topic contains 21 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Nikole28 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #743803 Reply



    So i really like this guy and we been on 3 dates or hang outs (dinner, watching tv, listening to music(, everytime he tries to stir me to the bedroom, cuddle and have sex with me ….and gets upset when i say, i need more time, he might think of me as a loser or that i am not good in bed …or why else would i wait? i Do like him and he knows it, but he said, sexually chemistry means alot to him etc

    He relaly tried hard last night….He even said, hes never been naked and not had sex … snd hes the one feeling uncomfortable??? even tho i kept saying i need time…. i rejected him and tried to talk to him…then he said, dont touch me…. and i just walked out of there…

    I believe the reason hes seing me is cause im very pretty, funny and he like my body… *(hes calling me sexy alot) but i have no rush… so might just never see this guy again… seems theres no potential here?

    #743805 Reply


    Why are you having home dates???? You should be getting to know him out in public at this point. From your post I see that you are a smart girl for not having sex with him early on. But why are you provoking him? In your situation I will have him OUT on dates and talk to him about what he is looking in dating you when you guys out having fun. After 3 dates he already knows what he wants from you. If he says its not a relationship-I would block him because from the info you gave us he is looking for sex. But I would still ask him.

    #743806 Reply


    All this guy does is stir you to have sex and shaming you when you dont want to after only 3 hang outs. Youre pretty, youre funny, you are young i guess, so you have tons of options in meeting good guys that dont rush for easy sex. I would throw this one back. Its a receipe for heartache

    #743811 Reply


    Dump him immediately!
    This is not a good guy…

    #743812 Reply


    Modern women have made getting sex so easy for men (sometimes the very first date) that some men now feel entitled to it.

    #743827 Reply


    I presume the fact that he says he’s never been naked and never had sex means you guys have been naked together? Of course the fact that you are both naked doesn’t mean you are obliged to have sex but come on. You may be pretty, funny and sexy (not modest, clearly) but you’re really not that smart to put yourself in a position to be pressured in to sex when you are clear in your mind that you are not ready.

    #743830 Reply


    How old are you?

    #743847 Reply


    if you don’t want sex early on why are you agreeing to home dates so soon? most men suggest hangouts at home when they don’t want to spend money on you and are only looking for sex. if you want more cut out the home dates so soon in the dating game. and this guy seems only interested in sex.

    #743884 Reply


    Hi again and thanks for all the replies.

    Yes, he does spend money… like he pays for the gas, for the dinners etc
    But somehow …he feels looks uncomfortable too , maybe cause it turned sex times now.. .and its getting to much… he always ends the date with “See you soon again, right…” – He also sends me texts online, everyday or so… a few texts was your day…calls me BABE and so on… is all this a TRAP to keep me interested??

    Is he gonna see me until he has sex with me?? Yes we were cuddling, but he took his clothes off.. i had my clothes on… but he tried to take em off.. and i said i need more time… He did not react well to that..and later told me to not touch him? Very immature of him .. i believe…or?
    I feel a bit trapped …how to get out of this situation too…what should i ask him? Or just not say anything and never talk to him…

    Many thanks
    I believe it was the last date “hang out” …

    #743885 Reply


    “it turned sex times now.. ”

    ** maybe cause i turned down sex 3 times now

    #743891 Reply


    I’ve never been to a man’s home where he just stripped naked!! That’s so bizarre!

    Cuddling is one thing. Taking off all his clothes without gaging your level of interest is really odd, possibly dangerous.

    Keep yourself safe and dump his naked behind ASAP!

    #743893 Reply


    You seen him three times and three times had to stop him from having sex with you? Count your blessings you weren’t raped and RUN from this wacko!!

    #743895 Reply


    Please, What are your ages?

    #743901 Reply


    We are in our mid /late 20’s

    #743903 Reply


    He’s old enough to know better!
    & if he don’t he’s a dolt- Why are you still engaging with him?!

    & You are lucky you’ve not been assaulted!

    What would you say to your daughter if she were You?

    #743939 Reply


    So whats the best way to end this? Tell him hey you suck, no more dates or just say nothing and never reply to his msgs.

    #743940 Reply


    When he’s summons you, decline his invitation.

    #743941 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    So you have hung out three times. But they weren’t real dates. And he is physically all over you, and you have been agreeable. Except to the actual intercourse.

    You have been quite a tease.

    These days, ya just can’t do home dates unless you are seeking sex.

    You were a little naive, but now you know.

    Have real dates, where a bed is not involved.

    The man doesn’t even have the imagination to invite you to a concert or night club., just home and bed. Quit blaming him. Next time you will be smarter.

    #743944 Reply


    Thanks Anne Ohio – you summed it up very well!

    #743956 Reply


    I agree with others in that men are now taught and conditioned to get easy sex because well, it’s become so easy to get it!

    He’s only doing what women have allowed him to do—take her for dinner and he gets dessert (sex). Some women try to play the game of ‘hard to get’ by taking sex off the table but its a losing proposition (waste of time) if all he really wants is sex as he’ll either drop you the moment he gets it OR gets tired of wasting his time and $$ on someone who isn’t going to put out and will move onto another who will fall for his flowery words.

    Agree with Annie that TODAY that men equate home dates to sex dates simply due to the fact that many get sex when they take a lady hom. It’s become ‘the norm’ where sex is corollary (follows from) a date (such as dinner) so you can’t blame or vilify men for what women are doing too.

    If they are pushing for sex out of the gate (very early) instead of getting to know you as a person which a man does by spending time with you outside of the sheets and with your clothes on because he’s far more interested in your life (passions, goals, hobbies, likes, dislikes, childhood, etc.); you stop accepting dates from him…easy peasy!

    #743982 Reply

    Devil’s Advocate

    This is really quite simple. Tell him, I don’t have sex unless I’m in an exclusive, monogamous relationship. You have pressured me for sex on every date, so I no longer want to see you.

    But in the future as everyone else says, don’t do home dates and don’t allow a man to get to the point he’s totally naked trying to take your clothes off! Certainly you’re smarter than that. It’s called being a tease and that’s an easy way to get yourself assaulted!

    #744016 Reply


    Thanks Devil’s Advocate

    Will use this
    “. Tell him, I don’t have sex unless I’m in an exclusive, monogamous relationship. You have pressured me for sex on every date, so I no longer want to see you. ”

    I feel really bad this happened and i do blame myself too. But i really did not wanna sleep with him, i knew he was out for sex…i could just feel it.

    Lesson learned

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