This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Malissa 2 weeks, 5 days ago.
January 25, 2020 at 8:12 am #783660
I am unsure if if my boyfriend’s sexual preferences are normal, the result of a childhood trauma, or maybe an indicator of homosexuality. The following is the cliffs notes version. Please respond with thoughts, opinions, personal experiences, anything you believe might be helpful to clarify things will be greatly appreciated.
Recently, I learned he was molested as a kid (approx. 10 years old).
My boyfriend watches A LOT of porn, like almost every time we have sex he has it on in the background, even when I’m not there he watches it. Typically, he prefers watching toys being used, dilods, ass pumps, strap ons, etc.
Additionally, he gets off and really likes putting inanimate objects in his ass…handles, pool balls, water bottles, a humungous dildo and strap on. I know straight men can prefer anal stimulation, but is this extreme? Please respond. Thank you!January 25, 2020 at 8:36 am #783661
Anal play, like pegging, isn’t an indicator of homosexuality.
I suggest you be less concerned with “normal” because in humans that’s a wide spectrum. Are you comfortable with his kinks? How do you feel about the porn in the back ground during sex? Is there anything he asks you to do that you don’t like?January 25, 2020 at 8:39 am #783663
I would run for the hills!
No, this is not normal. I know there is a small percentage of people who are into “kink” such as S&M and what have you but I’ve never personally experienced it with any guy I’ve been with, and I’m in my 50’s, so I can personally attest to and say this is not normal. Trying different things and exploring it is one thing but this extends far past that and has become a “sexual addiction” to the point they are unable to engage in intimate (normal) sex and have to engage in it in order to fulfill their sexual needs.
I am not a professional but it sounds like to me (my opinion only) is that he hasn’t properly worked through his childhood trauma and began using it to suppress those negative feelings and created a sexual environment to make it feel “normal” to him based on that childhood experience.
Has he been to therapy or worked with a profession who understands these types of traumas or has he had to deal with this all on his own? I personally couldn’t handle that level of “kink” and its not because I’m a prude as I am sexually open to trying different things but it needs to be for BOTH our enjoyment but if one is sexually selfish, its about their needs and not yours too, then that’s not a relationship I could personally be in or stay in.January 25, 2020 at 9:00 am #783665
I’m with Warasen in that “normal” sexuality is a wide spectrum, and being into anal play doesn’t mean he’s gay. The important question, like Warasen said, is how you feel about all this? I assume it makes you uncomfortable or you wouldn’t be here posting about it.
I would be concerned that he’s putting unsafe objects in his butt, like water bottles and pool balls (!) That’s dangerous and he could hurt himself. That detail seems extreme to me. If he’s into anal play he should stick with sex toys that are designed for that purpose.
Lane’s question about whether he has received counseling or worked through his molestation, is also important. Has he talked to you about that at all?January 25, 2020 at 12:17 pm #783668
Pool Balls?!January 25, 2020 at 2:04 pm #783669
Miss.Elf,love the name btw!..I admire the fact that he was open enough to tell you that he was molested as a child..That being said maybe you should ‘gently’ ask him if he’s bisexual no judgement passed..Given his background of being molested I think that maybe it became normal for him to like penetration perhaps..Me personally,I cant get jiggy with that kind of stuff..I’m a 33 year old woman & I will never take it up the rear let alone be involved with a man who can handle pool balls & humungous dildos..The real question is is this to much for you to handle?..January 25, 2020 at 4:12 pm #783672
Fake post. Perv likes to type porn.January 28, 2020 at 12:50 am #783813
It’s definitely normal and very prevalent today actually. You can reach a mans prostate through his anus and it can cause extreme pleasure and even multiple orgasms. I wouldn’t be worried. Anyone who says otherwise is kind of close minded. If he gets erect and orgasms having sex with you I wouldn’t worry about him being gay because he would probably have a hard time getting an erection if he was actually gay. He probably just really REALLY enjoys the pleasure of his prostate being stimulated. Nothing weird or wrong with that. I honestly wish my fiancé was more open minded, he won’t even let me use a butt plug on myself let alone one him!