This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Better off single 8 months, 3 weeks ago.
October 20, 2019 at 3:29 pm #775813
I have been kind of messaging this guy off and on for most of this year. He has disapeared. I have disapeared and came back again. We don’t text every day and have gone weeks without texting. We both have demanding jobs and kids. We met online. Well we went out. We decided we liked each other enough to sleep together. Not a relationship or anything. I think if a girl wants to sleep with a guy she can. I don’t think that makes her a slut. That is my opinion.
I know I can’t expect anything because we are not in a relationship and I can’t really get mad at him because we are not together. I haven’t heard anything since sex and it’s been a week. Granted it’s not out of the ordinary for us not to talk for a week. We are both very busy. This weekend he has his kids. I did sent him a text yesterday that read “Thanks for the other night. It was really nice to meet you. Have a wonderful weekend with your babies.” He didn’t respond. I won’t text anything else.
I‘m wondering now if I’ll hear from him again because I did have fun with him or if I am just a one hit wonder. I guess the only way to know is to go on and see if he reaches out or anything.
Has anyone ever had a guy reach out weeks after sex?October 20, 2019 at 3:39 pm #775814
What is the outcome you are hoping for?October 20, 2019 at 3:41 pm #775815
I’m not sure. I know it was fun and I wouldn’t mind going out with him again. Plus it was nice treating from time to time.October 20, 2019 at 3:43 pm #775816
Texting…Stupid auto correct lolOctober 20, 2019 at 3:51 pm #775817
Jade I’m kinda in the same boat as you, today Mark’s 2 weeks since I’ve heard from my fwb… today is his birthday so I’m debating on whether or not to shoot him a happy birthday text! Lol but anyways like you, its not uncommon for him & I to go weeks without talking. But for me if I reach out to him , he always text me back… so in your case since he didn’t text you back i would just leave it at that. I think its BS he hasn’t texted you back thoughOctober 20, 2019 at 4:36 pm #775824
Jane im not sure what question you are answering but it sure wasnt what the op was asking. Plus i like to know how you got the information most men think if you have sex you are easy and do it all the time. To me thats cliché talk but if you can back it up how you know this, ill can give it some thought.
When it comes to the question. Yeah guys can come back after weeks from sex to get more sex. But thats pretty much it. And its up to you to decide what you want: a casual fling or trying to date more serious candidatesOctober 20, 2019 at 6:48 pm #775847
Even if you don’t want a relationship, you still slept with him too soon–before he had the chance to get to know what makes you special and unique from any other woman.
The texting and/or calling you did before meeting doesn’t count as much as you might think. Only after officially meeting does the getting-to-know-the-real person begin.
He may or may not come back around, but if he does you can expect more of the same behavior.October 20, 2019 at 7:52 pm #775848
If all you want is sex, text him…
If you want more, mee thinks that ship has sailed…October 20, 2019 at 8:33 pm #775849
T from NY
A man not calling you after sex is very similar (in a man’s world) to never hearing from a man when you refuse to have sex sooner than you’re ready or never hearing from a man after you have a great date(s). If a man really thinks a woman is special, and if he is not close-minded and has double standards, there is no such thing as sex too soon. BUT a lot of men are not so enlightened and are not looking for a relationship from sex — therefore if you have no emotional bond (on his end) he will feel satisfied after the sex is over and feel no need to contact you again.
Of course you shouldn’t answer a man if he lets days or weeks go by before contacting you again or if, after sex, he continues to set up times for sex but doesn’t progress the relationship in other ways. Not unless you’re okay with FWB. But most women cannot handle FWB (it’s just not in our biology). And all of this is JUST dating. When it’s right it will flow and be relatively easy and he will call you again and be excited to hang out and you won’t have to write into a forum because you’ll be too busy being courted by a man who actually wants a relationship.
Hold your head high. You partook in a night of fun and physical release. You’re human and have desires. But unless a man has locked you down beforehand – NEVER have expectations after sex. And we’ve all been there with guys we liked and crickets and disappointment. Reevaluate how you want this to go with the next guy. But you did nothing wrong unless you go on to fool yourself into thinking he used you or that he “might” be interested. Neither of those things are true. Decide what you want and then keep living your great life.October 20, 2019 at 11:51 pm #775853
I have one thought about this – not replying to a text is rude. Not replying to a text after you’ve just had sex with someone is just an a**hole move. I would never ever tell a woman to not freely enjoy a one night stand or a fwb, and I don’t think there is any such thing as “sex too soon”. But I always repeat that even for a fwb or a one night stand we have to chose the candidate wisely. In other words, it’s not the situation that is a problem here, it’s this guy. Jane, find a better man for casual sex. For me, personally, it’s quite simple – the kind of anxiety that I feel in this thread is a deal-breaker. What does he think, will he reach out… I don’t have time for this kind of crap. And I know that I am, in principle, cool, so if I feel like this, it’s because of the other person, not me.October 20, 2019 at 11:54 pm #775854
I think he will reach out, if this is your primary concern. But then he may be ignoring your texts in the future too.October 21, 2019 at 2:23 am #775857
I sent one last text and then deleted all his contact info. This is what it read. “Well it has been a week since so I am going to assume you went ghost:) It’s been fun. I wish you luck on your search. 🙂”
I figure that is straight and to the point. He didn’t reply so we both know now that one night was all it was and it confirms he did ghost. There will be no more contact now or in the future.October 21, 2019 at 6:41 pm #775919
Straighten your crown and move forward!
😊October 23, 2019 at 3:19 am #776014
It might be that you didn’t ask for a relationship, that you didn’t even mention it. Most men don’t look for long term relationships, all the more if he already has a family.October 23, 2019 at 1:07 pm #776055
This right here, “I did sent him a text yesterday that read “Thanks for the other night. It was really nice to meet you. Have a wonderful weekend with your babies.” He didn’t respond. I won’t text anything else.”
You say you won’t text anything else and then here you go just 2 days later texting him AGAIN accusing him of ghosting you. You messaged this guy for most of this year and he’s disappeared before. He’s on a dating site and dating other women and likely sleeping with them on the first date too. If that doesn’t bother you and you think having sex on the first date has absolutely no impact on whether the guy will actually have a relationship with you, then as you said that is your opinion. I totally disagree with you and that’s my opinion.
While the right words are coming out of your mouth, “I know I can’t expect anything because we are not in a relationship and I can’t really get mad at him because we are not together” that is not how you feel and you are only fooling yourself. You admit it’s not out of the ordinary for the two of you not to talk for a week yet know that you had sex you EXPECTED him to contact you within that time. And you’ve even now accused him of ghosting. Most women have expectations after sex and that is why it is best to leave the physical side of the relationship out of the equation until a guy can emotionally bond with you. And no they don’t do that just because they’ve been messaging you for the better part of a year. Women are the ones who bond through words.
I say yes you’ll here from him again when he’s bored and lonely and wants easy sex because you’ve established that’s what you’ll give him.October 23, 2019 at 6:14 pm #776072
Better off single
He is bored with you and is just using you for easy sex. No need for communication when it comes to sex. Just a few dazzling words and a grunt or moan later it’s on to the week or two of no contact because there is no real intimacy there which is what you really want and you crave so you are left feeling empty, frustrated, and used.
If a guy wants to make you a priority it would be obvious and that’s what you’ve been hinting at. Lower your expectations because his actions are showing he doesn’t want anything serious with you and likes keeping it casual. Stop investing your emotions into this and detatch a little. Have better sh×t to do other than him. Show him you don’t give a damn if he calls or texts you. This is one of those situations where if you want to gauge his interest in you you silently wait for him to contact you first. To me it sounds like he is just a time waster. No need to hold a grudge or hate or bad mouth him. See it for what it is and ask yourself if it’s bringing any value into your life and if it is worth continuing.