Removing a good man from my life

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  peggy 6 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #757577 Reply


    I have been in the situation where it took ages to stop contact with a toxic man in my life. It was hard but it was the tiniest bit easier because I knew he was a bad person and did terrible things to me.

    So what do I do when I need to stop all contact with a man who I love who treats me better than anyone ever has. Our relationship can’t work anymore, but he is amazing. I feel like I am never allowing myself to heal by keeping him in my life when I know we can never be together.

    I feel guilty. How can I not feel guilty and how do I ease the pain of never seeing someone I love who is a fanominal person?

    #757578 Reply


    Nothing you wrote makes sense. You say he was toxic and terrible. Then you say he treats you better than anyone else. I am going to guess he is married which is why this will never work.

    #757580 Reply



    No no, the first part was about a different man in the past. The rest is about the man I am currently with.

    #757581 Reply


    Why can’t the relationship work anymore?

    #757582 Reply


    Karen you are going to have to be less cryptic and provide some details if you want advice. Why do you have to stop contact? why cant the relationship work?

    #757584 Reply


    The relationship can’t work anymore because I got a new job far away and a LDR isn’t something we want. I didn’t think it was important to say because it’s not something easy like “we wanted different things” or “he was married” that would make it easier to move on it’s just that life got in the way and other priorities got in the way.

    #757587 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    It’s a hard situation. If you are moving far away, it will be easier to cut him out of your life because you won’t have friends in common and there’s no chance of you accidentally running into him. It will be tough but as you say, you just have to tell yourself that life got in the way and it was not meant to be.

    One question. And this is not meant to be confrontational. If you love this man and he is so amazing, why would you take a job far away from him?

    If the job is important to your career and life goals, it’s understandable. Sometimes we have to choose what’s best for us in the long run and it’s not always a relationship, sometimes we have to put our goals first. So it’s OK to choose a job over a man if that’s your goal or dream. Just focus on your career goals or your reasons for taking the job, rather than thinking of the man or the relationship. You made your choice for a reason.

    #757588 Reply


    You do want different things…
    It takes time…

    #757589 Reply


    I don’ t see how this is any more difficult or different that if he was married or you wanted different things. It still comes down to you deciding not to be together and having other priorities than the relationship at the moment. Im going to just guess this is not a long term relationship?! If I were you, i would focus on my new job and establishing my new life and not contact him at all. Don’t try to stay “friends” and stay in touch, that will just make it harder and keep you from moving on. I have met and have to let go lots of amazing people in my life (romantic and otherwise) and it always hurts but thats life and you ‘ll get over it.

    #757595 Reply


    You can’t be totally in love if you can’t work this out.

    #757598 Reply


    I am with Liz-why are you getting/taking a job faraway,if this guy is so great and you are so in love? It does not make sense,unless the connection with him is very new. In any case,if you choose to move-I would wish him well and cut all contact. Then,in time you can meet someone at the new town. Good luck.

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