Home › Forums › How To Get My Ex Back › regret letting him go
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 4 years, 6 months ago by
J.
-
AuthorPosts
-
kinney99
I met a guy last year off bumble and we saw each other throughout the year. He came off a bit too strong as in he wanted to define the relationship and knew what he wanted. I wasn’t sure. I thought I wasn’t into him but really I have always been afraid of intimacy and relationships. He even waited for 2 months for me while I was abroad but when I came back I told him I was just not sure. I didnt give him a chance because I saw myself marrying him and meeting his parents and everything. Now I am no longer an option in his life and I hate myself for it…
Lane
What did you learn here? You need to take personal stock, get to the root of why you behave this way, and find a solution by doing some internal work so to get over this obstacle and barrier.
T from NY
Good relationships need a working out of timing. Love doesn’t give a shist about timing. It can just happen. You weren’t ready. That happens. Try to reframe any “loss” you experience in dating in a more educational way. The man for you and the good relationship you’re meant to have will mean you’ll be ready (or get yourself there) when the man is. Maybe this experience happened to help you along the path of being ready and recognizing quality men. OR take some time to ask yourself why you’re just ready NOW he isn’t making you an option in his life. Have you been, are YOU emotionally unavailable?
I ask this because I learned that women who only pine over men who don’t want them or men who have commitment issues or men that string them along — are women who are actually emotionally unavailable themselves. I still struggle with men who SHOW UP physically and emotionally. I struggle being as attracted to them. I like the more aloof ones. The ones that make a guess a little. But this is a ME problem and I’m working on it. I’ve training myself to only be attracted to men who are attracted to me and being consistent and showing interest.
Have you tried telling this guy how you feel? If this guy won’t listen to you now — then take some time to get to know you. Stay busy. Work on being happy. Date others. Accept it all as learning.
kinney99
T from NY,
That’s what I have been working on. I do have a notorious history of going after s****y men to the point where I had to stop completely and become shut off. I no longer am even comfortable trying to get to know people. How did you move past it? For me, even when I last saw him and told him it wouldn’t work, I wasn’t really sure and knew I would regret it and here I am now.
Anderson
Wonderfully and candidly said, T from NY.
kinney99, the last line in your original post seems pretty telling. What’s your relationship with yourself like? Sometimes I feel that determines the kind of partners/relationships that people go after, besides simply being young and still figuring themselves out
J
kinny99 you are emotionally available. When a good guy is off putting that you push them away because they come on too strong, this is a clear sign you need to work on that,
You’ll do the same with the next man unless you get to the root.
-
AuthorPosts
