Red Flag…?

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  kaye 1 week, 5 days ago.

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  • #782827 Reply


    I’ve been with my boyfriend, now fiancé for 4 years. He extremely hesitant to talk about his past relationships. I’m just curious whether anyone thinks this should pose as a red flag?

    #782828 Reply


    Also, I noticed he has some thing on his phone when his phone is locked that says “Recording hidden”. I’m concerned with this, a while back my fiancé told me he had an app on his phone allowing him to record calls. I asked whether he was recording ours. He said, the app made it so all calls are recorded. When I told him I felt uncomfortable being recorded he said he was removing it. He only used it for business reasons. Btw, he’s an aerospace engineer. Not exactly sure what business need would require it but I’d like to know if this would be concerning…or if I’m overacting for not being able to get this out of my head.

    #782830 Reply


    Why after four years are you worrying /wondering about this now? If you know a few facts-such as I dated Carole for 18 months and we broke up because of X..,then I do not see an issue. He does not need to rehash and explain anything more.
    My guy hates to talk about past relationships ( he does not want to hear much about mine either) because they are in the past,done and done.

    #782833 Reply


    No, he wants to leave the past behind. That’s a good thing.

    #782836 Reply

    Learn to let go

    I wouldn’t want to talk about the past either bad juju.

    #782853 Reply


    I specifically told my now husband when we were dating I didn’t want to know about his exes unless there was something that may later bite me in the a**, such as everyone knowing he dated someone still in our lives and I’d look stupid if I didn’t know. I didn’t think his past was relevant and didn’t want to hear anything that may bug me.

    I wouldn’t worry about it.

    #782856 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I agree with the others. The only relationship of my boyfriend’s that I know a lot of details about is the one he had with his ex wife, because they have a child so he still has to interact with her. So i know about her & why their marriage ended. Otherwise we don’t discuss his past relationships in depth. And i’d rather not. There’s no need to rehash the past.

    #782886 Reply


    I can’t believe you are together for 4 years and still wondering about past relationships! I don’t think it’s a red flag and have learned from life experience the less you know about previous love interests the better! Because once someone tells you something it can’t be unheard. And it can stick with you and leave you a mental image and cause you to overthink and worry and it’s just not worth it.

    As far as the call recording I had a similar thing on my phone for awhile. It was when I was going through my divorce and my ex husband was getting drunk and calling me terrible names and threatening things. I gave some calls to my attorney in case we needed them for court. But it was set to record all calls, not just specific ones. And even though it’s been off my phone for years, I still get updates for the thing. As a matter of fact as recently as a couple weeks ago when a new version came out for this year. If there are some shady things going on for work or if they are asking him to cut corners or do things he’s not comfortable with he could be protecting himself but may not be able to discuss those things with you for confidentiality reasons. I don’t think either of these are red flags.

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