Home Forums The Community Lounge POLL:

This topic contains 32 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Better off single 10 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #766001 Reply


    “Women over 35 are going to find these great new partners in very short supply.”

    Well, men will be in the same boat when they hit 55 unless they have bank.

    #766002 Reply


    I am 34 I have never been married I definitely won’t be before 35. No offence to anyone, but I actually sometimes feel sorry for women who’d got married when they’re in their 20s. I really don’t mean any offense, just some rationale against all of the ageism and hunting a husband mode.

    #766006 Reply


    Ok so here’s a different twist on the question…. is it better to be single or in a relationship that is not necessarily bad but completely devoid of any bit of passion. Roommates basically.

    #766021 Reply


    I think the question/poll itself is a strange one. Because the answer is fairly obvious when you have the luxury of being rational currently i.e. if right now you’re single or in a healthy relationship. Almost everyone will choose being single over the other option.

    But answering this when you’re actually in a questionable/bad relationship? Clouded by emotion/attachment? Things aren’t that simple anymore. Add to that a person who has faith, or actually loves the other, or other reasons like Karen mentioned. And things look way simpler to an outsider but a labyrinth for someone living it.

    #766022 Reply


    What I’m more dumbfounded about is how people who’ve been in bad rships themselves will criticize others for staying in one. It’s like they magically forgot what it was like to be in one the first time. I’ve been told for years by few people how “scarily intuitive” and a good judge/read I am of people. I’ve quit people or women mad easily… as soon as patterns in dishonesty, pretending, games started to show- bang, bye bye. Didn’t matter how long I knew them. The choice was always clear.

    But when I was in love myself? Most of my logic went out the window. I struggled hard to distinguish between things that were worth working through and things worth leaving for, even though I had been unhappy and unfulfilled for a while. Part of my mind was awake enough to realize some things were not right, but that voice was dwarfed by the love I had for the person. If a friend were in the same relationship instead of me, I’ve no doubt I’d be able to identify everything, call out red flags, and say “Wtf. Why are you still with her? If I were you I’d be gone instantly.” And this describes a lot of commenters here sometimes. So now anyone who displays that they have an amazing grasp of the line between when to stay and when to leave in a bad relationship, I take the comment with a pinch of salt because those words don’t mean much unless they’re in OP’s shoes. And if they say they used to be in OP’s shoes, that’s more insulting than adding credibility because they’ve clearly forgotten what it’s like to be in that situation in spite of having that experience.

    I’m sure there are some people who actually choose bad relationships- for some unhealthy or dysfunctional reason. But from a lot of the stories here… you can tell the women don’t choose to get in bad rships, and hurling pure logic at them from your high unattached horse is not as useful or impressive as you believe.

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