This topic contains 15 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Better off single 1 week ago.
December 13, 2016 at 1:36 pm #585031
This isn’t really an advice question but more so wondering if other women who online date experience the same thing.
At my job I’m not mixing with people and the bar scene isn’t for me. I figured I’d give these online apps a chance, and I pay for services such as match as I feel the men on them are far more serious about meeting someone if they are willing to pay.
It’s been more the free apps, but I’ve been having conversations with people who literally blocked me mid conversation for absolutely no reason. I guess they had a reason lol, but they asked me to dinner and my reply was literally “that sounds great,” and then I’ve been blocked.
I just wondered if any other women experience this, or men who literally fall off after a few messages. I just find it all a bit bizarre.December 13, 2016 at 1:41 pm #585033
Yes, I’ve done my time on the dating sites (sounds like a prison sentence) and this is pretty status quo. I’ve had guys ask me out and we’d been in the middle of working out the particulars when they just stopped responding.
You can’t take it personally. Perhaps they are messaging several women at once and one of them is standing out and it’s just not you. Maybe they’re married or in a relationship and they almost got caught. (you wouldn’t think so on a PAID dating site, but you’d be surprised). Maybe they have some sort of psychological issue (one guy that pulled something weird was a widower) and thought they were ready to date, and they just are not.
Dating sites are a tool. You get all types.December 13, 2016 at 3:16 pm #585055
Yeah i had the same experience. For absolutely no reason. At first i was a bit insulted: like did that guy think he is such a big catch that he thinks i cant stay away? Later i stopped on line dating because 99% of them are nutjobs. I guess there are a few good ones but i didnt have the time to weed all the other ones outDecember 13, 2016 at 3:22 pm #585059
I haven’t been blocked (and how can you tell if you have been blocked. I thought on match you cannot tell). My experience has actually been that Okcupid is much better than match. On match I get a ton of much older guys trying to convince me to go out with them. On okcupid only age appropriate contact me.
Anyhow to answer your question, guys drop off all the time at any point. And the truth is I do as well. Sometimes I will give someone a chance by chatting and see if they really stand out. It then turns out that they don’t so I bail.December 13, 2016 at 3:24 pm #585061
OOft yup had this a few times. I used to think it coincided with my reply to how many kids do you have ? Me- 3. Hello, hello where have you gone lol. Whatever you cant focus on what losers do to you online you just have to focus on the fact that its not about you and these guys arent worth your time or energy. xAugust 13, 2019 at 1:04 pm #760093
IT’s Crazy i know!
on POF i said hi to a person. Not exactly the most attractive, i went to send another email. Im BLOCKED!!!!
on BBWCUPID. A girl was telling me that distance wasnt a problem….I went to respond back … BLOCKED!!!!
These are below average women!!! What is their thinking process!?????? Lead a guy on then block him!!!!!?????August 13, 2019 at 1:10 pm #760096
@Keith Hmm perhaps your love of ‘!!!!!’ had something to do with it?August 13, 2019 at 1:29 pm #760102
Who are all these fake men posting on here.August 13, 2019 at 1:45 pm #760107
Omg you seem to firmly believe that this website is some sort of Internet Secret Garden only visible to women and trannies.August 13, 2019 at 1:48 pm #760108
And I’m right Stephen. Look who I’m talking with now.August 17, 2019 at 12:08 am #760413
Personally Ive experienced this a lot on dating sites.
Its hard not to get offended.
Look at it this way, would you rather end things now or for them to stop talking to you suddenly once you were in relationship.
They obviously are looking for someone specific and you arent “it”.
The irony is that after 10 years of being on one dating site or another, sometimes multiple sites at the same time, i’ve reached the conclusion that they dont work for the gender which is the majority. Some areas women dominate in numbers, others its the men.
If you want to improve your odds; you need to view dating sites like applying for a job. You have to have a portfolio (your profile) thats 10x better then the other guy, dress for the part, come prepared to kiss someones feet, don’t quit (unless you get blocked), and eat a good breakfast, look into the interviewers eyes, and always part on good terms.August 17, 2019 at 11:36 am #760432
Better off single
It’s better to be single than compete for an “interview” and face tons of rejection. There will always be something about someone else that looks like a better ‘option’. Plus, it’s hard to tell who’s geniuine and who isn’t. Getting your head filled with empty compliments or blocked for no reason. Like someone else said there are a lot of nut jobs out there and that is emotionally draining.
I’d rather meet someone when it’s least expected at some kind of a cultural event/group setting and see where it goes naturally instead of getting frustrated trying to force something out of nothing or fishing for a date.
I am in no hurry to meet anyone. I like being single. I have control over my own space and my independance which is something I value most. I like having the freedom to take things at my own pace. I like not feeling the pressure or anxiety when he isn’t around or the rejection i feel when I’ve been blown off for what someone else sees as ‘the better option’. I like not having disagreements or doubts. I like the peace I have knowing I won’t ever get jealous, worrying about him going behind my back, or a lack of appreciation and respect. For me, I believe when the timing is right it’ll happen. If it never comes, I’m still content without it.August 17, 2019 at 3:12 pm #760467
“I’d rather meet someone when it’s least expected at some kind of a cultural event/group setting and see where it goes naturally instead of getting frustrated trying to force something out of nothing or fishing for a date.”
This. Agree so much.
It means you end up being single a lot longer but I’d rather be single than with the wrong person cause I was that desperate to get in a relationship. Definitely the lesser of two evils. Not that I have much experience, but in dating strangers there is something off-putting about, when you’re talking to someone or hanging out with them, and there’s this strange hidden pretense of trying to win over the other person or they’re trying to impress you. Something fake and unnatural about it that I can always pick up on and find unappealing.August 17, 2019 at 3:32 pm #760472
Better off single
I know I put on fake confidence when I’m interviewing for a job knowing every word I say, how I dress, and puncuality is judged right off the bat. Then kicking myself later for not saying the right thing, wishing I would have said something else instead, thinking I over/under dressed or overthinking it to death causing me to back out.
I’d rather be comfortable and casual without expectations or hidden agendas.August 17, 2019 at 5:20 pm #760487
Haha. For me faking confidence and trying to sell yourself in job interviews (without lying) is very understandable. So you’re okay. That is actually business. My resume has glorified facts. I still strive to have honesty and integrity at work though.
It’s just different when personally interacting with people though. I think I’ve just spent so much of my life meeting and talking to people transparently with no agenda that I’m spoiled. So when it comes to playing games, pretend or following strategies I nope out of there.August 17, 2019 at 5:38 pm #760489
Better off single
Good for you. :)