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Alexis
Two and a half years after our break up, my ex got in touch with me again. We had stopped all contact but in the last year, I heard a lot of news about him and when we met once, we exchanged only the basic conversation. I was pretty sure that I had moved on and I had dated another guy for 6 months after our break up and it seems like my ex dated a girl too with whom he broke up a year before. He suddenly messaged me and wanted to know what I was upto. He also showed too much eagerness about us becoming friends. It’s been 3 months now since he started texting me. Sometimes, he sends me messages about our past, like why we broke up (broke up because of trust and insecurity issues) he also asks me if I trust him now and I told him that I don’t know him anymore. It’s been too long since I have seen the guy. And then he responds saying that we should become close again so that i can see whether I can trust him. And sometimes he says the sweetest things that I waver a little. Does he like me? Does he want me back?
cupcake
Why did you break up?
Alexis
We broke up because I had trust issues with him. I know now that maybe I had been too silly and insecure but at that time, it got to me because it was my first relationship. The words he said and his actions didn’t seem to match when it came to some things. Especially when it came to other girls. Maybe I was too insecure as a person but something in my mind had always told me that something was wrong. I grew tired of always being doubtful of him. When my closest friend told me that my boyfriend had asked out his girlfriend, I confronted him and he asked me if I trusted him and at that point I didn’t, so I told him no. That is how we broke up.
Alexis
Wow! I haven’t thought about our breakup in a long time. Now it feels like I suddenly remember every tiny thing about us all over again!
cupcake
Ok. Well i have no idea why he contacted you, bit do you even want to rekindle? Bc just from reading your initial post you don‘t particularly seem too eager. Seems more like you feel like possibly giving it another chance simply bc he was your first relationship?!
And it doesn‘t seem like you had that great of a time while you where with him. Feeling a bit insecure in your first relationship is one thing, but constantly feeling he is cheating on you?! That sounds to me like a case of „trust your gut“In any case. I would totally sit back and see if he escalates it. Bc texts are cheap. And if he doesn‘t make more of an effort to „win you back“, so to speak. Then why bother. Many more fish in the sea.
Alexis
Thanks. I had really liked him a lot. For me there was always this gnawing feeling that I had been too hasty in making the decision to break up. I always felt that I was too insecure because he was an over friendly kinda guy. So I was wondering that maybe I should give it another chance.
Raven
He for sure wants something…
What are your ages?
Alexis
He is 21 and I am 20
Sophia
I don’t know, but, I don’t think I could rekindle.
The part about your closest friend telling you your boyfriend asked out his girlfriend . . .
That betrayal isn’t something I’d get over.tammy
u broke off not just because of trust issues. but because he asked your closest fiends’s girlfriend out! why wld he do that? but then again i think if you are in 2 minds you can try meeting him once and having an open talk. meet him casually a few times thereafter as just friends and see how u feel? from what you have said, for now all your interactions have just been online. so first let him suggest meeting you for a coffee. and then take if from there.
Elvira
Hi Alexis
Two years is quite some time apart and hopefully it has brought some changes for the better for the both of you. If you feel that this is someone you would like to engage with and see if things have improved then I would say go ahead and give it a try with caution.
I know many say “an ex is an ex for a reason” however, I believe that people are able to grow. If it is someone they really cared about and was not a toxic situation there is nothing wrong with feeling they deserve another chance. This time you just need to make it a point to trust yourself and trust him if he has not given you any reason not to trust him. I would also say it is a new beginning not a continuation of the last relationship. You are both very young so there is time to take things slow and see how you both are this time around. Do not settle for anything less than what you truly want and make sure your open about what your expectations are.Alexis
Thank you for all the responses. The one reason that I regretted breaking up with him was because after I heard that from my friend and confronted him, he never agreed or denied, he just asked me if I trusted him and when I said no, he did seem heart broken but we decided that there was no point in being together when we didn’t trust each other. But I found out after that that it was my friend’s gf who told him that my ex had asked her out. But a year later they broke up because he found out that she was cheating on him. So I started having a feeling that maybe she lied about my bf asking her out. But since a lot of time had passed, there was no turning back so I let it be. But now that he texts me again, we talk about stuff and he has asked me many times about why I was so angry at that time and all such stuff. I don’t know why he is bringing up our past but now I am starting to think whether I just believed everyone around me rather than my bf in our relationship.
Alexis
Oops, It sounds so confusing. I hope you are able to understand what I meant.
jaden
have you guys talked recently ? Like after the breakup?
Alexis
Yes, we have been texting now for three months.
tammy
alexis if he asks to meet, do meet him and have a talk in person. that may help sort your confusion. and you will also know whether you guys want to rekindle. dont drag this online thing forever.
Newbie
I guess you cant say hor/ny?
Well i said you were both young and he was probably not serious but you cant really hold that against him. So i dont see any reasons not to get in touch. But the one thing i dont like is him asking do you trust me now? Thats dragging an old cow out of the canal that lied there for 2 years now. It seems immature to me to ask that kind of questions now. So i think he probably is too immature for you -
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