out of state man

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This topic contains 29 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tina 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #698102 Reply


    I recently was at a public event and this lady approaches me about her male friend. We started talking and she said that I would be perfect for him. She texted him a picture of me and he responded. She later asked if she could get my number to pass along to him. We have texted a lot and more recently just snap chatted. I used to communicate through snapchat but have come to accept it. He lives out of state and has mentioned that I should come visit him. He is the owner of an island and bar. From his snaps and posts on activity on social media, the place is gorgeous and he seems like a very nice and true person. I have been praying about this a lot because I down to go 100% after he asked me to come visit. I have time of coming up in May and when looking at flights recently, I all of a sudden have fear and doubt. I know this is either going to go good or bad. I have not been too successful dating, so I am not sure if it is that or, if the first meeting doesn’t work, I can’t just drive home and move on. I know in todays world, this seems very unsafe, but the island is public and he seems like a nice person. In the beginning of this I would always say ‘why not’ What are the chances that a random lady tells you about a friend that you would be perfect for and he actually texts you the next day? I believe in fate and that things happen for a reason and that God is leading me in the direction where I will one day meet ‘my person’ I am just all of a sudden hesitant about going. He also mention that he comes back to the state that I live in a lot but I told him I would visit, it’s just a matter of when, and want to be good on my word.

    #698103 Reply


    Let him come to You…

    #698121 Reply


    Don’t wanna sound over the top but you need to think of your security. Have you ever heard of female traffiking? I mean, you don’t know either this woman who approached you neither this man. They are total strangers. Any insta/snap can be easily faked. Don’t go.

    As Raven said, let him come to you. Invite over.

    #698122 Reply


    Geez, sometimes sometimes women who post here really scare me as to what they will put up with and go along with. You need to stop the stuff about God and get concerned about security. This is a bizarre story. None of it makes any sense. A guy who is an owner of an island and a bar has some female out scouting for women for him at public events?? He wants you to come there, at your expense? No no no no no no. Warning bells should be sounding all over the place. A dude like that should have women crawling all over him. You shouldn’t have allowed her to take your picture, you shouldn’t have given out your number, you should have said, that’s flattering but no thanks. I feel a lamb going to slaughter, thinking it’s going to play in a nice green field. Don’t do this. If he wants to meet you, he can come to you, and meet you in a public place. And you need to check him out very, very thoroughly before you agree to that. If he really owns an island and a bar, there will be plenty of public record info on him.

    #698124 Reply


    I am with Jenny – do not go.

    #698127 Reply


    This sounds like an episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit in the making. Please stop being so naive and get away from these people. This isn’t about you keeping your word and being a good Girl Scout. This is almost certainly a set-up for something horrible. Jenny called it right, I hope you follow her advice.

    #698138 Reply


    Everyone knows bar owners are drunks.

    #698144 Reply


    Shady SF,

    Please be CAREFUL!!!!
    There are a lot of creeps out there, not saying he is, but maybe plan somewhere central or just don’t go at all.
    There is just to little info on this and What Jenny said seems to be the best!!

    #698157 Reply


    When you arrive in Florida how will you get to his location? Rent a car? Taxi? You can’t let him pick you up, you could be kidnapped on the spot. Therefore you will have to have a motel reserved, you can’t stay with strangers.

    Meanwhile, he goes on with his life, partying every day and night, while you spend your savings. Silly girl.

    #698171 Reply


    Do not go. As others have said, that sounds very unsafe. You don’t know this woman who approached you and you do not know this guy.

    He should be coming to you and meeting you in a public place.

    #698177 Reply


    No way in hell!!! As soon as you mentioned the woman I knew this was going to be something iffy! If he’s keen he will come to you. Please don’t go. Please!

    #698193 Reply


    Let’s leave god out of this and use logic and reason.

    This whole situations sounds like a set up and unsafe.

    What if this man is creep or simply not your cup tea? You would rather spend your money to be stuck somewhere that you may not like?

    If he travels so much to your state let him come to you.

    Please get your head out the clouds and consider the consequences of being foolish about your safety.

    #698227 Reply


    How desperate you need to be to consider something like that??

    I am sorry if I am offending you, but seriously, how do you not see it?

    I hope you’d be open your eyes and listen to women here, do not go to visit a total stranger. At best, let him come to visit you, with no promises on our part, no implications of sex. He would need to pay for the plain ticked and also book a hotel. Without any guarantees on your part. And even that is still risky. Women can get assaulted, beaten. This is a total stranger!!

    #698238 Reply


    In my defense, we are connected on all forms of social media and still has some stuff from exes on there, who went and visited him. How can a person fake owning an island or a selfie when you see it on social media or Snapchat? And doesn’t anyone believe in fate? This lady and I are now connected on social media as well

    #698241 Reply


    Even if he really does have this resort, or whatever, this random lady is looking for girls for him? Totally sketchy, sorry. She took one look at you and decided you were “perfect for him”. Sorry,but based on what????

    You sound extremely naive. Listen to what people are telling you.

    #698245 Reply


    Kelly – it’s dead EASY for people to fake those things. You need to get your head out of the clouds before you get harmed, raped, or killed. Are you really this gullible? How old are you anyway?

    This isn’t about God or fate. This is a potentially very dangerous situation. As Ali said, a strange woman comes up to you and says you’re “perfect” for some random guy and you allowing your pic to be taken and you’re handing over your personal information… based on nothing real. I think you’ll find this is a game these two run often. You must have very, very low self esteem to fall for that and then reach into your pocket and fly to see a man who is supposedly so wealthy he has an island.

    No one is trying to be mean, we are just extremely concerned. Don’t get defensive, just wise up. Fast.

    #698246 Reply


    Ok Kelly. Your a grown woman and fully capable of making your own choices as your the only one who has to live with the outcome, we don’t.

    My question is why did you even post if your hell bent on going??? Every wise women who posted on your thread thinks your nuts if you go through with this, myself included, but hey you could be the 1% of humans who falls in love at first sight and lives happily ever after. Your odds are better at winning the lottery but if you feel in your heart of hearts that if you don’t meet this guy you’ll always wonder “what if” for the rest of your life…then go.

    Its your life and you get to live it the way you deem fit.

    #698263 Reply


    The fear and doubt you’re feeling about actually booking the trip is your logical self telling your fantasy/dreamy self this isn’t a good thing to do.

    Whatever you call where that message is coming from – your guardian angel, spirit guide, female intuition, or your gut – you need to listen to it.

    #698264 Reply


    Scary situation… Whenever you have a female you don’t know contacting you about a man you don’t know.. It is a trap.

    I used to have that happen to me on online dating once in awhile, and ALWAYS stayed away from it. It doesn’t make sense, it isn’t real, and if you have any God given sense, you’ll stayed away from this like a house on fire!

    Don’t mean to be dramatic, but this situation just doesn’t make any sense and would be a very dumb move on your part..

    #698309 Reply


    This is absolutely a set up for something bad. And I’m just realizing how prevalent female sex trafficking is in the news lately. It’s shocking.

    If God is showing you anything it’s to learn to stay away from a situation like this, as you are his child and he doesn’t want you hurt.

    How do you know the whole Snapchat feed isn’t being populated by other women who are a part of the scheme? You can make up names and photos on that site as long as you make up a new email address. Or many email addresses.

    It’s like Stephen when he posts in this forum and then answers himself multiple times under a bunch of different names. (Sorry Stephen, but I’m making a point here)

    This isn’t a heaven sent opportunity. More like the devil preying on a trusting soul.

    Block all contact and forget about them. There really is something rotten going on here.

    Be smart.

    #698316 Reply


    Then I honestly apologize for that, Stephen.

    In fact I apologize for using you as an example at all. It was all I could think of in the moment to present a familiar situation to her to make the point of – yes – the whole Snapchat site could be bogus.

    I hope you understand, but more importantly I hope SHE now understands.

    #698319 Reply


    Meeting one woman at a party is “fate” and even “God talking” (which one is it actually), but 20 women telling you it is a BAD BAD idea is of no consequence? And of course, social media proves it all legit. Wow.

    An island owner or restaurant owner in a tropical touristy location must be so horribly lonely and devoid of female presence that some woman at a social event hundreds miles away poaches women for him. There are no women in Florida right? Oh wait, of course, this was just ONE time this woman met someone so spectacular as you..Of course, silly me. One time

    it is beyond me..!how can you be so foolish!

    So you buy a ticket, fly there, get gang raped or assaulted and dumped someone in an alley. Do you think you’d be a priority for the local cops? Or do you think cops from your city would be putting your file on top of others?

    Scenario number 2, not as horrid and quite plausible. You pay for the trip, fly there, he uses you for sex for a couple of days or weeks, treats you nice and tells you you are beautiful, and then you fly back. He texts you a couple of times afterwards but then he “decides” he is not ready for a relationship.

    Oh wait, there is another scenario, silly me. You meet, fall madly in love, get married and live happily ever after…Of course this one!! Doesn’t anyone believe in anything nice these days?? Geez…

    #698359 Reply


    Here is what is most concerning, outside of the fact that a stranger woman ‘picked you up.’

    You don’t know he is a nice guy and you don’t even know if it’s a guy. You haven’t Skyped or even spoken on the phone. You have no way of verifying this person is who he says he is. And I have no doubt that woman at the event got ahold of other women’s pics and numbers for ‘him’. This has scam written all over it. And potential danger.

    If you really want to meet him, he needs to come to you. Then he can stay at a hotel and you can meet in a public place and on your own home turf for safety.

    My guess is you have built up a picture of who this person is only based on messaging. He is a total stranger. How is it you even verified this person you chat with is who he says he is? Anyone can make up websites and steal pics of other people.

    I say it’s beyond foolish to spend your own money and fly yourself out to meet a total stranger. You are scared because you know in your gut that none of this makes sense. What man invites you to his home and he hasn’t met you or even had a conversation with you on 5r phone? Does that even make sense?

    #698360 Reply


    If he is for real, you should insist he come to you.

    #698378 Reply


    Let’s pretend for a minute there are no safety issues and he is who he says he is. What do you expect to happen by going to him?

    When a man is truly interested in a woman, he will go completely out of his way to impress and win a woman. Dangling an island as bait is easy and requires no effort at all. I am sure a great aphrodisiac to all the other women he invites down too.

    A man is wired to purse and invest in what he finds valuable. By you going (he has had to do no work to get you to visit him) and by you paying for it (he is not having to invest) devalues you significantly. You are showing him you are not a valuable woman worthy of being pursued and won over. Instead you are showing him you are a cheap and easy dalliance.

    Obviously do what you want, you are a grown woman, but do so with eyes wide open and what the reality is. Good luck.

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