This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Kim 3 months ago.
May 17, 2019 at 11:20 pm #750327
When my ex broke up with me I had a lot of people there for me so I posted about them on Instagram. Well a guy I went to high school with messaged me and checked on me. We talked for a bit and I said that we need to hang out. He said yeah we do so here’s my number. Well I kept going back and forth with myself on if I should text him or not. Well I finally did like 2 days after he sent it to me and we talked for a bit again.
Then two weeks went by and I didn’t hear from him (he’s a nurse so I do understand that he works 7 on days so sometimes he can’t answer back).
Well I went on a date with another guy and agreed to go on a second one with this new guy. After talking to the second guy I figured out I wasn’t into him so I cancelled the date. Well I texted the first guy asking if he was busy and the next day he finally messaged me back and said he was going bowling with his friends and invited me. So I went bowling and as the last game ended he invited me back to his house to eat pizza and watch a movie.
I agreed to go and went; well we ended up having sex. As I was leaving his house later he told me that he’s off in 7 days. So I’m just not sure if he wants to see me again or if he was just being nice since we had just had sex.May 17, 2019 at 11:34 pm #750328
This guy never pursued you. You asked him to hang out and he didn’t even ask for your phone number. Then you reached out to him and no response. Then you reach out yet again and end up rewarding the guy for doing nothing. He didn’t pursue. He didn’t plan a date he just invited you with his buddies. Bought you a pizza and you climbed in bed. If he is in touch it will likely be for more easy sex where you do all the work.May 17, 2019 at 11:38 pm #750329
You will find out in 7 days…
From what you described, he is not that interested other than the sex partMay 18, 2019 at 1:02 am #750331
Oh Honey…May 18, 2019 at 2:18 am #750333
You sound desperate and needy. Why are you even pursuing men?May 18, 2019 at 3:01 am #750337
You do not catch a man by throwing yourself at him.
You MUST let him lead from now on to see what his intentions are, otherwise you’re going to wonder if he’d have reached out had you not, if he’d have asked you out if you didn’t ask him, etc. It’ll drive you potty.
Usually, a man who wants to see you again will lock it down as soon as possible – my guy text me as soon as he’d got home after our first date to tell me he wanted to see me again, and he set something up immediately. Usually they’ll do it within 2-3 days max if they’re keen – however busy they are.May 18, 2019 at 11:10 am #750373
When you meet a guy who is truly interested in you all the confusion you had about other guys will suddenly seem not confusing. It’s not that you won’t have any questions at all but you won’t wonder if he wants to see you again. He will make it clear he would like to see you. The way you are motivated to express you want to get together with a guy you like, an interested guy will express that to you. An interested man won’t be too busy to do regular things where you don’t have to be “on”. He will offer to help you do yard work, or move furniture, or whatever you thought was only a casual mention in conversation because he will be tuned into finding ways to be there for you. It won’t be a one shot deal to get together because it’s not all about convenience. It’s also not 0 to 60 fake instant relationship either. It’s about sensing there is a willingness on both sides to show your interest in ways that match each stage of dating you are in. You won’t agonize that every move you made was wrong. You won’t feel as if you are always hanging by a thread.
All the overanalyzing, micro managing, and “reasons” you are given by others and, in turn, give to yourself for what you did “wrong” over insignificant things like:
1. You texted him first TWO times in TWO weeks (Oh the needy, clingy desperation!)
2. You spent 3 hours on the first date vs.the recommended 2.5 (How will you ever recover from coming off so “desperate”?)
3. You talked about your dog too much (Bored him to death!)
4. And yes, oh yes… you had SEX either too soon or not soon enough (Can’t ever win with that one.)
*The list is neverending*
will not be the issues you stress over. They won’t be issues because he will want to see you as much as you want to see him.
As for your question… things can potentially grow from what you described, I’m not saying they can’t, but if you are left feeling uncertain or like you have only one chance to get together and have to adjust your world to be ready to jump or forever miss out… you aren’t missing out on anything that will lead anywhere.