NOT meeting his fam

Yes, I find it weird that you’re dating 2 years and haven’t met his sister who lives in the same city as you. If his parents are far away in another country, I can understand not having met them yet (especially during covid), but do they at least know you exist? Does he talk about you to them?

And why on earth are you paying for all the groceries and take out in your relationship?!

Don’t doubt yourself! This IS a big problem and weird situation. Even if it weren’t that big a problem, it’s still valid that it’s big for you… but in this particular circumstance most people are going to find it strange and non-committal.

Because of covid and distance, I can’t meet my boyfriend’s sibling, but we’ve still had long phone conversations. We did a video chat with his parents prior to it eventually being safe enough to meet in person. So, if he wanted you to meet them, he’d find a way, even if it’s virtual. And even if he’s not so excited about it for whatever reason, since it’s important to you, he still should find a way.

Have you asked him the reason? What excuses did he give? If it’s cultural and he only introduces one woman he’s planning to marry to family, then that sets up the talk about how serious you actually are after 2 years. I’ve also been told after a long wait and avoidance to meet the family that it was not about me, it was about them… the sibling kept flaking out because that’s the way that person is and my ex was insecure that I would judge him for his family having major issues and being off (this was a red flag for several reasons and I finally met them after pushing but it eventually didn’t work out for other reasons).

Trust your gut if something seems really off, because it probably is! It sounds like there’s a power imbalance in the first place, if he’s having you pay money to support him and making you feel bad about asking for normal relationship milestones like meeting family after 2 years together…

Hi. I sadly have to disagree with some lovely folk here, just because sometimes it really depends case to case, everyone’s situation is different.

Me and my bf have been together for 2.5 years and while I’ve met his family, he’s never met mine yet. My family is (very) religious and have strong beliefs to a point where its suffocating me and bc of this I have an estranged relationship with part of the family. Had some weird drama because I got a bf in the past that caused me to spiral and brought out some serious mental problems, hence I only keep it touch with them to tick a box and keep my mental health in tac.

I’m not saying this is ok or it is not weird. What I’m saying is communication is key. Me and my bf talked about it and we both understand why I do what I do. My bf has stuff in his life that I find odd initially without the full story but after a calm adult conversation, it normally clears the air.

Another example is he’s met my best friends few times but I’ve not met his. Normally people find that odd but long story short something weird happened to his friend and he doesn’t want us to met. He explained honestly to me why. Again communication is key and you’ll normally have a gut feeling whether or not it is the truth.

In terms of the money situation, I’m not sure why. I would double check with him.

I hope this helps. You can generally feel if he actually wants to put effort in or not. In my case, I am confident we’re both putting in same amount of effort in 50-50. Often it’s still ok if it’s 60-40 but when it’s 90-10, that’s when you need to evaluate the relationship.