No response after First date


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Tiggy 1 month ago.

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  • #743203 Reply

    Curious Misty

    Met a guy after causal friendly texting. We swiped each other right more than a Month ago, he wanted to meet me eagerly but I met someone else once and didn’t ended up great (one night kinda stuff) after that I was skeptical to meet anyone.. But we had very short conversation now and then mostly initiated by me around funny videos and memes. He once asked me that what am I looking for since I don’t want to meet him and if it’s just an online company I want. We speak same language and have same cultural background. I always liked our conversation with him but he is 2 years younger to me so was not sure about meeting. Because I always encountered younger guys who just wanted physical intimacy but nothing else.

    He swiped me right on another dating app and we matched again. He instantly texted me That I connected with you again :). I asked him about his weekend plans his friends were visiting him. He insisted if we can meet that day if possible…from a month I had been kind of putting it down, but he seemed nice so I agreed. So we met on a weekday.

    It was a very casual meeting over dinner. He talked a lot about his family, mom and dad and his upbringing also about his dream project. Which I heard very patiently and had enough brain storming/cross questions about his dream project…it was all good. We never talked about anything in terms of dating, relationships, expectations…why we connected again…like not even once.

    After dinner he was still talking about something in the parking lot and I cut him off after some time as I was shivering in cold. He said no problem and we will see again…soon I realized it was very rude of me..I got out of my car and asked him if he still wants to grab coffee and apologized for my insensitive behavior. He said not a problem we will see each other again …and then he sat in my car we discussed what he was talking about …and then he left.

    I dropped him a text after I got home that it was great to know about the stories he told about his dad…as he was a a big fan…
    to my surprise he saw my text and left me on read. no response…absolute silence.

    This happened on Wednesday. -_-
    I never texted again it’s Sunday.

    Did I make a fool of myself :(
    What was this ?!

    I understand if he lost interest but what about being a little modest.

    Should I literally erase a guy from my mind after meeting him once ? This has happened to me before, am I doing something wrong ?

    #743212 Reply

    anon

    He’s not that into you. Move on to the next. A lot of dates never make it past date 1.

    #743236 Reply

    Lane

    The only thing I see that you did wrong is you texted him first. Always BEST to gauge a man’s true interest by allowing him to take the next step by contacting you and planning another date. If he doesn’t then you delete his number and move on.

    The problem with a woman texting first is you’re trying to keep his attention and if he had already decided he didn’t want to see you again (n the restaurant, at/in your car, drive home?) that he didn’t want to go out with you again. The ‘when’ he decided that doesn’t matter, he did, and if you had waited a couple days to see if he reached out and asked you out again, you would have known that a ‘non response’ IS a response—it means “no” or “not interested”.

    A guy may respond or say “let’s do this again’ but it doesn’t mean they will, so don’t rely on their words, only their ACTIONS by taking you out again will determine their true interest and if they don’t it’s your CUE to not waste your time and energy chasing nothing.

    In the future, thank the man after the date and if he says “let’s do this again” you can respond with “I would like that” which gives him the signal that you’re open to another date IF he asks you out again. If he doesn’t, its OK as its a big part of the dating process and need to expect and accept that not all first dates are going to lead to a second, third, fourth, tenth…

    #743444 Reply

    Curious Misty

    Generally how long should I wait…to see if a guy texts back or is really interested.

    The thing is I went on a lunch and dinner with two different guys met them online but they never texted me back…I didn’t see any red flags with both of them. They were really nice, humble.

    Before this the guys I met were jumping on me for physical intimacy…. those guys wanted to meet me again, but within first 3 dates they tried getting physical so I didn’t go ahead with them/met them again…

    something has changed within me ….is it good/bad I don’t know :|

    #743448 Reply

    Tiggy

    Someone being two years younger than you shouldn’t be a big deal, unless you are 20.

    It wasn’t rude of you to end the conversation because you were cold. It was rude of him to stand out in the cold talking incessantly and not notice you were shivering.

    Don’t text after a first date. Let him come to you.

    He’s not interested in moving it forward for some reason. You have to get used to this in life and not let it bother you. What’s meant to work, works, When something doesn’t work, it wasn’t right for you and there’s something better coming. I really believe that. I keep seeing the truth of that.

    If you’re going to date online then you have to get used to the majority of the dates are not going anywhere after the initial meeting. It’s not you, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Online dating is a pure numbers game. You have to be able to screen well and fast and side step a lot of weird, or it will play with your head.

    #743449 Reply

    Tiggy

    And I don’t wait for guys after the first date. It was just one meeting, I keep going about my life. If they get in touch, great, if not oh well, next. I’ve had good first dates where I never heard from the guy again and it didn’t faze me.

    You will usually hear from a man who’s interested within 3-5 days after. if it takes longer than that and he has no explanation, then he’s probably dating around. You should be too!

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