- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 5 months ago by
.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › No label thoughts
Emily.
Betty
Hi all. After dome views please
Was with a guy for a few weeks in the summer. He was full on and im sure he is actually avoidant, as he ducked out saying he cant commit.
He was in a long relationship with children but that finished five years back. Since then he has only had short term or casual other than a year long relationship that he describes as controlling on her part
He wants us to be together but is scared of being rejected and me leaving him, and scared of commitment in the conventional way of being together, gf/bf/relationship
He is clear he wants us to be exclusive, and together, and not messing around with others. He talks of the expectations he finds overwhelming when words like commitment are used.
In fact it really seems a sticking point regarding the expectations part. He suddenly thinks thats it forever now, and he feels trapped, and needing to think about moving in and such (ive lived on my own for years and dont want him doing any such thing) but he seems to leap into thinking he now has to be this or do this.
Given we arent seeing others and are together,and agreed supporting each other emotionally and sharing with each other. To me the things that make a relationship, should I be bothered about not using the words relationship or commitment?
Raven
& you want to be with this train wreck, why?!
Betty
That did make me chuckle! But he is kind and tactile and lots of lovely qualities to be fair
Franny
Yeah, I agree with Raven here. You should have kicked him to the curb a long time ago.
Whenever I visit these forums, I feel sad at the number of women who allow themselves to be treated poorly. It is much, much better to be alone than attempting to make something work with a real tool. I get it—I’ve done it.
Don’t settle for this.
Sam
It makes me sad too, Franny!
He’s feeding you a whole bunch of excuses, Beth.
Emily
Franny, I agree with you. @OP, when a guy isn’t with you, the reason doesn’t matter. Look at the results. If a guy isn’t stepping up in a way that is reasonable and appropriate given the stage of the relationship, you stop seeing and talking to him.
Search The Forums
recent topics
related articles
© A New Mode, Inc. 2009-2024 All rights reserved. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc.