This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by anon 4 months, 2 weeks ago.
December 5, 2018 at 7:39 pm #731314
So I’ve been out of the dating scene for quite sometime. I met a guy 12 years my senior, I’m 35 and he’s 47 (he doesn’t look any older than 37) over the spring at the time we were both seeing someone else. We’re both now available. Recently he asked me out (midway through Nov) to a comedy show. We had a good time. We’ve been talking quite a bit mostly either email (at work) and via text in the evenings. We went on a second date for happy hour, movies and dancing afterwards. We are both very comfortable with eachother. Lots of PDA, both dates he held my hand while we were out and the second date was our first kiss and throughout the night he french kissed me nonstop after the first kiss he gave me.
Two (2) questions…how do I know if he really likes me or if his objective is just exclusively to get in my pants? Is it a bad sign we mostly text or is this just contributed to the new age of dating? Sometimes he calls but I don’t because I’m worried about coming on too strong which might be a turnoff…
By the way he asked me out for NYE but I let him know I already have plans and will be out of town.December 5, 2018 at 8:38 pm #731321
Any help will be appreciated…December 5, 2018 at 8:52 pm #731323
Assume he likes you. Why wouldn’t he? You have a lot to learn about him. Take your time, decide if he is a good person. Remember he is being on his best behavior, wait until the real person comes out. Hopefully he will be a good one.December 6, 2018 at 12:59 am #731347
I’m sure you’re a great person and deserve the best.
Take it slow. So avoid getting ahead of yourself. Stay sweet and positive. Be happy. It will work out just fine.December 6, 2018 at 9:09 am #731355
Jamming his tongue down your throat every chance he got? Charming.December 6, 2018 at 9:31 am #731360
I think texting is just what people do now. It’s not an indicator of anything other than how much time people spend on their phones. Actively seeing you in person for activities other than sex is how you gauge a man’s interest.
If you like texting and he likes texting, do it. Personally, I find it tedious but some people really enjoy it. Calling is generally a better way to have a conversation.December 6, 2018 at 2:58 pm #731403
I have learned it’s best to set the pace with over eager men. He may be great, but do you shove a truckload of candy down a child’s throat just because he wants it? It’s a BAD analogy but it comes down to pacing.
Bottom line: Spend some IN REAL LIFE time with him to get a better sense of who he is and what he wants. That’s what works better for you anyway….December 6, 2018 at 4:02 pm #731415
I would try to do a lot less texting and more in person interaction.
Many people gain a false sense of familiarity from texting.
Take your time and don’t rush anything. His action+ words=truth
Lastly, all men at some point want sex if they only want sex then that’s a problem.December 6, 2018 at 10:52 pm #731466
So he called tonight. We’re both pretty fresh out of a relationship. He talked to me about his ex-wife a little both positive and negative comments. I asked about his relationship that just ended and he gave me a little insight into it as well. He said their actually still friends. The main issue was the long distance. He asked whether I still talk to my ex-fiancé. I said I’ve spoken to him since the break up but am not in contact with him now. I told him for me it wasn’t just our long distance, there were a lot of layers of issues I had with him. At some point he mentioned himself moving forward without hurting anyone in the process. I told him I just wanted to let him know there’s no pressure. I’ve both been through a lot (we’ve both been through a lot) and as mentioned before I’m doing what makes me happy. Right now I know I have a good time out with you. He talked about the PDA he had with me on our last date and how that’s where he’s at now. Doing what he feels comfortable with without worrying about what other people think.
Any thoughts…December 6, 2018 at 11:18 pm #731467
Uhhh… To me, he’s just said he would like to have sex with you without hurting you in the process..
Isn’t that what you got out of it?
Never volunteer to a man there is no pressure. He will take that as a get out of jail free card.. He’ll think you are ok with “whatever” and are the chill girl without any or many expectations.December 6, 2018 at 11:22 pm #731468
Kathy: I think your right…seems I may have created a problem for myself. Is there a possibility of correcting it and if so how?December 6, 2018 at 11:39 pm #731469
Well he’s going to find out quick I’m not going to let him just screw…It takes a relationship for me to feel comfortable giving myself to a man and in the process I don’t allow men over my place that I’m not exclusive with. I take it once he realizes I’m not inviting him over for dinner in the next few weeks, that’s when he will move on.December 7, 2018 at 3:51 am #731475
I don’t get why you just didn’t tell him what you told us. Instead you skirted around the topic and said you were fine just dating casually. It was clear from his constant kissing that he is just wanting sex. His round about conversation confirms this. This is where women mess up. If you aren’t honest in the beginning about what you are dating for and what you want, you will get crumbs. It’s not about pressure. It’s about dating for a purpose and yours and his don’t sync up. At this point you may as well cut bait because he gave you his motive. Sex and casual.if you continue to date you will be at an impasse.December 7, 2018 at 8:10 am #731480
“At some point he mentioned himself moving forward without hurting anyone in the process.”
I don’t even know what this means. It’s either moving into a new relationship without hurting his ex, OR having a FWB until he moves on to a relationship.
IDK, I’d withdraw.