New dating situation

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This topic contains 23 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Jo 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #760313 Reply


    I met this guy off of a dating site and I made it clear that I wanted to date and find a boyfriend I want a connection and he agreed that having a valuable relationship is better than Fwb relationships, this first night we got a room he was turning 30 years old and we did have oral sex it did go farther but he stopped quickly because I told him k didnt want intercourse on our first date anyway the second time we met we drove around walked in the park and ate food we kissed and he respected the fact that we wouldn’t have any sexual contact other than kissing it was good we connected so well and enjoyed each others company we hung out for 4 hours then the next day we got a room and things seem stale I was getting anxiety and getting quiet he doesnt like when I’m like this because I hide in a shell sometimes our second date I came out my shell and we connected so well the third day in the hotel room it felt awkward we did have sex but there was alot of awkward silence like we watched movies and he didnt kiss and cuddle me as much

    I had a talk with him and he told me he hope he isnt rushing into things he does alot of business with his friend so he drives alot and hes afraid to fall or have deep feelings for someone because hes afraid to lose himself he did say he loved me first and told me he was saying it as he loved me as a person but he also said it in a loving sense so I went with it I’m kind of a hopeless romantic person he did call me babe in front of his bestfriend hes a very nice guy and hes honest with me he told me what we have is like a canvas with paint supplies that can turn into something he did admit that we should of waited for sex I told him that could ruin things since we did that he said it doesnt change how he feels that much he rather things fall into place and he doesnt like that I keep questioning what me and him have I think he loses interest when I keep trying to have feel conversations with him about love I did ask him if he was developing feelings for me and he said yes this third night after having a convo he seem like he wanted to distance and watch the movie he said it’s hard for him to talk about feelings so he shut down

    How can I slowly back off but continue trying to let him develop feelings should we stop seeing each other as often?

    #760315 Reply


    Do you ever use periods?

    #760319 Reply


    hang on ? you met him 4 times and you are saying you love him ?

    #760334 Reply


    I think what’s more important here is that you used only one comma in that entire post and it was after “Fwb relationships,” Why only after that? I’ll tell you why it’s your subconscious mind showing you what the relationship truly is. It’s trying to relay that to your consciousness. Commas in the world of linguistics are meant to represent pause. What do pauses make us do? Think and reflect. The universe is giving you signs to make you see the reality! That one little comma is your wake up call from your emotional coma. If this isn’t undeniable proof then I dont know what is and anyone who disagrees is crazy and doesnt– ugh my outdoor break’s over gotta go back to the psych ward ttyl

    PS: you’re overthinking it

    #760337 Reply


    Anderson, i loved that post. And yes i put the comma there intentionally to reflect on the name Anderson

    #760370 Reply


    So newbie and Melissa are th same person?

    #760371 Reply


    Newbie you a young one. This guy is very clear in word and actions he isn’t wanting a real relationship with you. You say you don’t want sex and have oral? That is having sex, you are old enough to know that. What does driving a lot with a friend have to do with relationship? Does this guy even live near you? Sounds like he came in for a hotel room and three day booty call. The guy isn’t going to have feelings for you just because you gave him sex. He actually wants to run because on the third day you are already asking about feelings.

    #760372 Reply


    OMG i dont make fake posts. The comma after the word Anderson in my post lol

    #760373 Reply

    Another one

    Your actions dont match your words. You said you wanted a real relationship and not just something physical yet you start off with sex on the first date? and then ask him about his feelings three days in? Thats insane. It takes time to develop a connection/bond with someone and sex usually just muddies the waters. You cant sex someone into a relationship! i would back off from this one completely. See if he comes back( not for more sex!) if not move on. If you want a real relationship try to get to know the person first and know there is something there in terms of feelings before you have sex! Otherwise you are going to have to put up with a lot of guys who are not looking for anything more than sex

    #760374 Reply


    I don’t see your name or a post with your name here.

    #760375 Reply


    Newbie is Melissa

    #760376 Reply


    You answered Anderson using newbie and not melissa

    #760378 Reply


    Omg, really? I read Anderson reply and found it extremely witty and smart and therefore i said: i loved that post Anderson and added a comma as a hommage to the comma. I didnt respond to the op since i consider it a bogus story

    #760379 Reply


    I made a post about my long distance relationship a couple of weeks ago.

    #760381 Reply



    *clears throat* Nice try @Newbie now you’re just trying to hide your slip up with a well-made explanation but you ain’t gonna fool @Omg. You and Melissa are the same person. It’s as true as the comma!!!

    #760382 Reply


    Youre probably not Anderson because i felt he/she would have understood the funny content of my post. Ah well😀

    #760383 Reply


    Oh wait, you are, now i get the ironic subtext. Yeah reading can be hard lol

    #760387 Reply


    this first night we got a room he was turning 30 years old and we did have oral sex it did go farther but he stopped quickly because I told him k didnt want intercourse

    I’m sorry but, your behavior contradicted what you want. You got a room with a stranger and although you didn’t have sex you left almost nothing to the imagination.

    My comment isn’t to bash you its to point out you asked for one thing but, your behavior didn’t match up.

    Its really hard to slow things down when you start off like this. I would suggest having dates that include activities and stay out of hotel rooms!

    #760390 Reply


    Lol ok, one last try, since its amusing. I read the op, but didnt want to respond and then read Anderson’s reply which in a funny way said that that one comma after she felt it was fwb was her subconscious telling her the truth and that comma should made her pause. Not only did i found it funny but also clever in a way that wasnt demeaning. So i said: i love that post Anderson, and i added a comma after Anderson to reflect on the name Anderson. Im sure you will get in in the morning lol. And this is exactly why i dont post on bogus posts, it gets me in trouble being ironic.

    #760393 Reply


    I actually typed a message clarifying @Omg’s misunderstanding when it first happened but then realized it could be the beginning of something beautiful so I kept shush. Sorry @Newbie for fanning the flame but it was worth it lol. Hope it doesn’t come back to haunt you in the future. But thanks for the laughs! :-)

    I felt this was a bogus story too but if I pretend it’s not, @Another one and @Khadija make very good points.

    #760422 Reply


    Actually, you are stupid

    #760453 Reply


    Yes, you are stupid.

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