Need advice after 6 months no calls but texts


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  • #789031 Reply
    Masha

    Hi,
    I’m looking for some advice on current situation.

    So last 6 months we had no calls but short texts without emotions, just daily greeting like ‘Good morning/evening’ ‘How is it going’ ‘Have a good day’. We still keep short, but nowadays I feel like I still want him and wanna get back to our normal days.
    This guy as a developer stays very busy and helping/taking care of his parents’ farm at the same time. He used to be emotionally not available; he’s very rational, logical, efficiency seeking – I’m opposite. Also when he’s out with people, he treats them more important saying staying with a phone while gathering with others is rude – so I couldn’t expect to get a text back or him answering my calls.
    We dated for 6 months in U.S while he came for his work then continued LDR when he went back to Europe. We had some good and bad moments like any other couples until November last year.
    He was extremely busy, he didn’t text much – Maybe only ‘Had a super busy day’ before going to bed. We couldn’t have facetime for a month (Normally we did every Sundays) and I had to trip to some Asian countries. Finally we set a time to do video chat, but he missed it and phone called me instead of video.I got very upset and it brought my other feelings I hided ; frustration, anger, sadness.. all due to him being not available physically and emotionally. So I was being cold on calls and he stopped calling until now. It’s awkward just call him directly saying I miss you or verify who we are or what we are doing after 6 mo absence. Or am I fool not realizing we’re a done deal?

    #789033 Reply
    T from NY

    This man is not investing in you.

    #789046 Reply
    Andrea

    No lengthy, elaborate explanations needed. After 6 months of barely no contact, dry texts – what other type of answer are you looking for here?

    The man isn’t interested in you. He says he’s busy but as every programmer knows, it’s code for “I’m not interested, but I dont mind breadcrumbing you sometimes when I’m bored”.

    This dude is seeing other women and has been doing so for the past 6 months.

    Move on with your life.

    #790436 Reply
    mell

    He may be busy, but a relationship can’t just be founded on the odd “good morning” text. You’d need much more for feelings to progress and to really get to know each other as a couple. So even if he is interested, if he can’t find the time to do more, it’s not going to lead to a meaningful relationship.

    If you want this to be a relationship, you need to talk to him about how you feel and what you want – and see if he can deliver any of it, or even wants it.

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