This topic contains 6 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by Saku 6 months, 1 week ago.
February 12, 2018 at 11:40 pm #683361
I met C online a year ago, and we have been dating since then. Last fall he asked me to be his GF and agreed. He is busy with his business but makes efforts to see me. My only concern is that he has not given me any present (except he gave me a small bottle of Sake with cherry blossoms). Even in the holiday time, I gave him a couple of presents, but I did not get anything from him. I don’t think he will give me anything for Valentine either. We don’t go to restaurants very often but when we do, he always pays. So I am a little disappointed. I am not expecting anything expensive but I would love to receive flowers or something on special days. I am not sure if I should tell him or not. Suggestions?
February 13, 2018 at 2:07 am #683384
Hei Saku, I don’t have an advice, but I will just stand here to listen what other say as I am in the same situation. My boyfriend never gives me gifts while I did it a few times for Xmas occasions etc. Now when we are bf and gf he also never pays for me anywhere a penny, we rarely go out but if we do, we split the bills. Also if he comes over to my place, he never brings any food but eats my dinners and breafasts with pleasure, the latter is fine as when I go overnight in his place than I just decided to also not bringing stuff and he makes some food for us. So I worry if that is a cheap type of boyfriends we have or is it settling?February 13, 2018 at 3:16 am #683399
You should expect gifts on occasions such as birthday and xmas. Even if they are small ones.
The rest of the type of things you talk of should depend on things like financial situations- are your boyfriends ok financially and just tight? Or do they struggle with money? I saw a guy for a while that I felt was right with money- we went halves on things, but my feeling wasn’t very justified as he was paying a large amount in child support and saving for a deposit for his own place. He always let me know what I meant to him though, so I gained a perspective in it.
So where are your guys financially? Is there a reason they are tight ?February 13, 2018 at 3:36 am #683400
Indeed I think it depends on the priorities in specding the guy is having. Saku, how is your guy with money?
In my case, bf has a good salary but in our country he gives 60% of salary to all kind of taxes (as he says) and for the rest he is saving like crazy for his expensive hobby that takes a lot of his financial and time resources.
But at times I think is it just saving for some bigger pleasure (hobby) or just the person as he is, buying foods on sale, very limited lifestyle with going-outs limited as hell, old clothing.. I also starting to question about creating a family together, a child – he is 36 I am 31, – those all are expensive ventures and at some point would need to prioritize and make choices to that side.
Oh, this is not easy to break up because of it as in other areas like feeling comfortable with each other e.g. conversations, respect, affection, sex, we are super fit.February 13, 2018 at 7:02 am #683412
The interesting thing is that my BF is from a wealthy family, he is a lawyer and business owner. So his income is very high, however, he invests in his business aggressively, so his net income may not be so high. It’s hard to tell the true income of business owners. He is not cheap, as I said, he always pays when we go out. Even if I offer to pay, he would never let me pay. I think that is his personality, he is a minimalist, and not a shopper. He has a brother who is his best friend, and the brother is just like him too.February 13, 2018 at 10:21 am #683431
I would suggest you both look at the bigger picture. Most guys love to make their women happy but its not necessarily with gift giving. It can also be about spending time, doing things for their girls, being dependable etc. Fir example my guy likes to get me gifts sometimes but i get the weirdest stuff really. It totally cracks me up. But he also sends and leaves me sweet notes a few times a day.
If in overall a guy is not a giver, then he is a scrooge. Its unlikely he will change so its up to you to see if pure ok with it.February 14, 2018 at 9:00 pm #683628
So I have to say that I was wrong. He sent me a lovely gift for Valentine. I have a feeling though… it’s his mother’s idea because she is visiting him. Any way, I am happy.