My bf dumped me after a fight over rejection, help

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Helen 10 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #655484 Reply


    I met this guy I really liked and I thought he really liked me too.
    We had sex on our first date and it was great but after that he took distance from me.
    I heard about him 3 weeks after and he wanted to see me and be with me again.
    I accepted a second date which was very romantic, he brought me in a very nice restaurant and then we went out for drinks and really had a great time.
    Then he wanted to be intimate with me again, and I refused him because I was scared he would take his distance again like before. So we had a fight over it, he left me like this, and he texted me a few days ago just to tell me that he apologized and that he dont deal well with rejection, but I never heard from him again. He never replied to my text neither. I am very sad about it, I wish we could have at least a conversation over the phone even if its for ending the relationship.
    I need your advice, could someone help me to better understand the situation?
    Thank you very much

    #655498 Reply


    He only wanted sex! Forget him, he’s a waste of time.

    If you want a relationship, don’t sleep with guys until they prove they are NOT just looking to get laid.

    That means they take time to date you, take you out, just spend time getting to know and enjoy spending time with you.

    Too many guys know they can get easy sex if they act a little nice and pay a few compliments (and make minimal effort).

    That was all this guy wanted. It is YOUR responsibility to protect YOUR heart and body. If you don’t respect yourself enough to do that, no one else will.

    #655499 Reply


    AND he was NEVER your BF. You went out ONCE and in that one date slept with him.

    Please don’t make this more than it ever was, and learn from it!

    #655504 Reply


    Thank you Phillygirl, he said I was his girlfriend and that he felt this deep connection for me that he never felt before.. He said I was special and he drove 2 hours each time he came to visit me. But I think you are right, he was probably just lying in order to get what he wanted. I am glad I havent slept with him last time, and I believe also that if he really liked me , he would have asked for a conversation.. Just feeling sad and will move on..

    #655508 Reply


    I agree, he seems like he only ever wanted sex. You did good to refuse him the second time.

    Just be careful next time. While there’s nothing wrong with having sex on the first date, you can’t really know the man you’re sleeping with in such a short amount of time. Because of that, there’s more risk involved. If you want to reduce the risk, wait a bit to see what kind of person he is first.

    Beware of guys who shower you with pretty words and call you their girlfriend (and talk about how they’ve never felt this way before, ext ext) very early on. It’s a red flag for exactly this reason.

    It hurts right now, but you’ve saved yourself a lot of time in the long run.

    #655510 Reply


    Why do women believe everything a man tells them, hook line and sinker? You shouldn’t have seen him again after he didn’t speak to you until 3 weeks after your first date. This is why you don’t have sex on the first date unless you don’t care one fig if he calls again or not. Please wise up.

    #655524 Reply


    I think you guys are right.. I should be careful of men who give nice words too quickly. I acted very naive. Anyway, if a man really likes you, he will never take a rejection that bad, and will understand and wait for me

    #655544 Reply


    Dear Jens, please do not judge me that quickly. I was sick for a long time and finally healed by miracle, it was about 2 years that I did not have sex with a guy, and I had this opportunity that is why I did it so quickly. But anyway, I am here on this forum to receive some advice or support, not to be judge, thank you

    #655546 Reply


    Jens didn’t judge you. She just have you no-nonsense advice, and it was spot on.

    Men say lots of things, especially to get your attention or to get sex. You have to learn not to believe everything you hear, especially from someone who has never proven they are honest or who has not demonstrated over time they are sincere and trustworthy.

    This is a stranger. Do you just believe everything a stranger tells you? I hope not.

    You need to use more smarts in dating. If you want a relationship don’t sleep with a guy early on. He only wanted sex, and he got it.

    He moved on. Please move on yourself, and date smarter.

    #655547 Reply


    and again, you met him once and he said you were his GF? First, that is a discussion and you have to agree to it. He doesn’t decide anything unilaterally. He was not your BF, please wake up.

    ALWAYS be wary of guys who rush things, get too serious very quickly (before they even know you) and say things like “I’ve never felt this way before”.

    ANY guy who does this in only a few weeks of knowing you is either a loon, unbalanced, full of crap, or trying to manipulate you.

    That was a giant red flag.

    #655552 Reply


    Thank you Philligirl, This helps me a lot.. and I know I was acting naive. I accept to move on now and to be careful in the future

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