Lied to my girlfriend

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Amy 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #760707 Reply


    I met this girl at work. After a while I noticed some chemistry between us and started flirting. Once I changed my job, we continued flirting and have been dating for a year now.

    There is an age difference. I am 47 and she is 28. When we started flirting, for some reason I told her I was 4 years younger.

    The relationship has been perfect. We moved in together 3 months ago and we’ve been in seventh heaven.

    Today she found out (I don’t even know how) and confronted me about it. I apologized, explained that I wanted to tell her but the longer the relationship continued the more afraid I became. Fearing this day.

    She gave me an hour to move out. I just took some things (leaving the rest hoping, that we can work through this) and asked her to forgive me and that we should talk. She texted back, that she needed to be alone today.

    I know that I lied and that she feels that she can’t trust me. But for the past year, I’ve shown her and tried to show her everyday that she’s is my everything. I’ve treated her with nothing but respect and love for the past year.

    Can she forgive me? Did I really screw this up? Should I give her space?
    How can I show her that she can trust me? That she always can trust me?

    #760710 Reply


    Why did you lie?!

    #760726 Reply


    You’re almost 50 years old and you had to move in with her?

    #760729 Reply


    Just giver her some space and wait for her to reach out, when she’s ready. Women can be very forgiving but when it comes to honesty and trust, its like a dagger to the heart. This is a small one IMO, heck even at 43 you would still be old enough to be her father (just saying) but it sounds like her concern, based on her reaction, is not your true age or the age gap but that if you can lie about something so small, so easily, and for so long; its what you haven’t you told her, have lied about, and how easily you do it is what she’s grappling and struggling with right now.

    Good news is, if she truly loves you and the overall relationship is really good she’ll forgive but will need some time to regain trust in you again. This is something you are going to have accept by being fully open, transparent and forthright from hereon if you truly want this to work.

    #760733 Reply


    You lied about a huge thing and kept the lie going for a long time. Then moved in with her while keeping that pretense. When I found out a guy I met lied about his age (he was 42 and said he was 34) I instantly lost all attraction to him and considered him untrustworthy in general. She has a right to be mad and you are too old for her anyways no offense. How did you “for some reason” lie about your age? Its weird….sorry to be so blunt.

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