"Let take a break from each other for a while"


Home Forums Dating and Sex Advice "Let take a break from each other for a while"

This topic contains 29 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Sisi 3 months ago.

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  • #746707 Reply

    sisi

    So I went to New Orleans with BF last weekend… Had a great time there and he was a total gentleman, paying for everything, carry my stuff, open doors, plan everything etc…

    On last day, we got into a fight over something that started off as a joke.. During the fight, I said things like “I can now understand why his ex is always upset” and ” You have lots of baggage” etc…We made up later and apologized to each other…

    Back home Monday night, and got a text from him on Tuesday saying he has been thinking a lot and needed time to clear his head, and asked to”take a break from each other for a while”..

    I was surprised by the text but said nothing… He later sent me a long email about how he got really hurt by the fight and by those things that i said… and wanted to think about things…

    I thanked him for the long email, and that has been that…

    I am almost sadden to see how calm I was with this, which made me realize that i dont love this man enough in the end…. He is a great man, extremely nice to me, hugely sucessful career, but I am not physically attracted to him enough….He is 6′ but weights like 145 pounts…. I hate to be so shallow, but lack of physcial attraction is killing me….

    Now i am just patiently waiting for him to finish the “break”, and if he comes back to cut things completely off with me, maybe I will feel better… Don’t know… We will see…Just hate to have to date again…

    #746710 Reply

    Insensitive

    Because totally calling out his short comings and emotional bondage really keeps a joke funny or makes a tense moment easy to let go and move on from.

    Why wait? You should be the one to end it.

    #746716 Reply

    Ianthe

    *I thanked him for the long email, and that has been that…*

    Just a thank you! Did you not apologise for hurting him. Personally, I don’t blame him as saying hurtful things during an argument is a dealbreaker for me.

    In addition, not sure what you’re doing with him if don’t find him all that physically attractive.

    #746721 Reply

    wut

    This is the woman who has been telling us all for months and months about how amazing and perfect her man is, how she did everything right in her dating style…

    … so you’ve said mean things to him during a row and decided you don’t fancy him? Right. Good.

    Next!

    #746722 Reply

    listen up

    One, Sisi you should end it, not wait. You have no respect for this man.
    Two, the fact that he tells you all this via text and email says to me he is scared of you. Based on previous posts you’ve mentioned, I think I understand that. But at least he’s standing up for himself in some way finally.

    Maybe end it and take some time to take a look at your own behavior and how easily you use words to cross lines of respect and decency. And how controlling you are.

    #746726 Reply

    kaye

    If losing this man didn’t make you feel upset, but instead made you relieved because of the lack of physical attraction, you need to end it with him. And you also need to learn how to fight fair. The things you said to him were hateful and nasty. While you can apologize and get over a fight like that you can’t forget the words someone said in anger. It builds resentment and breaks trust in a relationship and shows a lack of respect for your partner. Please learn from that.

    And don’t let hating to get back in the dating pool again make you settle for a man you clearly don’t love and respect.

    #746733 Reply

    a

    First of all, you don’t deserve him as a boyfriend. Why are you with him if you don’t find him attractive? The man took you on a 100% FREE vacation and then you were rude to him and disrespected him in return. I would have broken up with you too. Did you even say thank you or offer to pay for anything? You ruined your chances with him, and you’re going to regret it someday. Best of luck.

    #746734 Reply

    Raven

    Impulse control Sisi…

    Is this a pattern in your relationships?

    #746735 Reply

    L

    Looks like he already ended it chica.

    #746742 Reply

    Kathy

    You probably resented the fact that you were in New Orleans(a fun place.. I know, because I’m from there), and was with a man you weren’t really attracted to. So you were sort of passive aggressive and weren’t very nice to him.

    Don’t date men you aren’t attracted to.. It never works out well. No matter where they take you or how nice they are. That is a basic for a relationship!

    I don’t go on a second or third date if there is not enough attraction.

    #746745 Reply

    Sisi

    I am short tempered,but not impulsive…friends actually say I am a bubbly and happy and always positive ….and I don’t fight like this in my previous relationships….

    So I am not sure why I behaved this way with this man…I have been asking myself the question the last few days… and kind of sad to realize that I probably do not love him enough, due to the low physical attraction…

    I actually texted him this morning and asked him what he is thinking… he texted back and said he felt very conflicted… but said he will call me later today

    #746747 Reply

    Raven

    For crying out loud… Let him go-

    #746748 Reply

    Bre Me

    Yea you just like him like that. You werent even hurt by the fact that he wanted a break. Your looking for the easy way out and hope he will end things with you so you dont have to end it. You probably started the argument too. Just save you the extra drama and break up with him.

    #746749 Reply

    Raven

    You are impulsive if you can not hold your temper-

    #746759 Reply

    Crisula

    You said he was calm.

    Most guys who break off relationships, have been already thinking about leaving his GF for quite awhile.

    I think the argument in New Orleans, was the straw that broke the camels back.

    #746760 Reply

    Crisula

    You said he was calm.

    Most guys who break off relationships, have already been thinking about leaving the GF for awhile.

    I think the argument in New Orleans, was the straw that broke the camels back.

    #746776 Reply

    Newbie2

    I think it takes some guts to come here over and over where you really manage not to spare yourself. Under the same name. I always associated the name sisi with princess sisi and you do her honours.
    Its ok to find youre not compatible after a year. It happens but he has been honest and so far you have not with him. I doubt at this moment that you know how you really feel. I do think a few things: you have been hung up on how succesfull and how much money he makes from the start. But them you realized all that wealth goes to his ex and it caused resentment and still does. Because i dont know how you can go from a joke to a fight to saying you understand his ex. If there ever was a best way to kill a relationship, you have found it. And i remember you had a few other argents as well. So whats to learn? Dont be so blinded by money and succes. It maybe makes a good lifestyle but doesnt buy happiness. And you seem very intolerant to people with baggage. You even told your now ex bf. Whats that about? I think i can tell you. You feel wronged by maybe your ex husband? You felt you had to be strong to move on. But at the same time that took a toll on you and thats why you react strongly to your now ex bf. Stop being to strong and accept other peoples flaws. Which is my Chinese Fortune cookie wish to you

    #746783 Reply

    Blondie

    You didn’t want to be alone, you were tired of dating and he makes a lot of money.

    I hope he dumps your shallow a**.

    #746784 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    You’re a manager. You wanted this guy, pretended to be all nice and sweet. Then you got him . He bought you a new bed.

    Then you decided he needed to make you the center of his world, nagged him relentlessly about his ex and his kids.

    You tried to force him to be your puppy dog, you refused our advice to respect him . He never had a chance with you.

    You’ve constantly complained and beratedhim for not doing things your way.

    This is called a narcissist. You are a bad egg. You are mean and spiteful.

    Instead of appreciating and loving him, you have destroyed him with your verbal and emotional abuse. See, you are still harassing him.

    The dude spent a lot of money on you and you took it. You have broken him down to a pathetic weasel.

    #746785 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    Not manager, man eater.

    #746786 Reply

    Kathy

    Anne Ohio.. That was a pretty mean post!! I have noticed that you seem to enjoy putting women down on a regular basis..

    You must be very bitter…

    #746787 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    Yes, I am bitter. When I was young I chased guys who weren’t good people, then married for 20 years to a serious cheater. He even had an affair with my sister and broke my heart. Then divorce and had an abusive narcissistic bf for 7 years.

    So I get pissed when women make mistakes.

    #746789 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    So even though my advice is tough, I’m rarely wrong.

    #746788 Reply

    Anne Ohio

    But I sure know a liar, a cheater or an abuser when I see one.

    #746790 Reply

    Kathy

    I am sorry Anne Ohio that you have been through all of that. That would make anyone bitter.
    Life isn’t fair a lot of times. I hope you can eventually heal.

    But I’m not sure women can learn much when you come down so hard on them. It seems to them and many people that you are putting them down. We don’t usually learn when someone is putting us down. We go in the corner and hide.. :)

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