Is my ex playing mind games?


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Cleo 1 month ago.

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  • #736319 Reply

    Cleo

    My ex and I split up 7 weeks ago (his decision)

    He has stalled on giving me my stuff back, his belongings are in my house still..

    I still work in his small business, he told me to stay as long as I want and his business partner offered me more hours

    I also have a business of his in MY name. He has not mentioned this once and he has always offered my uncle a head position in this place of work.

    When we chat it’s positive. He looks at me like he stills loves me. We were together 4 years. Our relationship was positive and we was trying for a baby (his decision) our relationship got messy and we both argued a lot for two weeks until it came to blows.

    He FaceTime me, laughs and jokes.

    He still hugs and kisses me back and calls me babe.

    Every time we talk about the split he cries. Even when it kills me not to cry. I am heartbroken he was my best mate but I do agree time apart is good.

    He came into his work today. Where I work. He asked was I ok. I was just short and like yes I am ok. And he laughed and went eee can’t believe you just blanked me but he was laughing and joking.

    I’ve decided to go no contact as speaking to him everyday was heartbreaking. 3 days into no contact.

    I get a message off him: he says he is clearing his room out and does he want me to bag my stuff up, his rooms a mess he can’t live like that (he must not of been cleaning up)

    I replied with do what you need to do.

    He replied .. oh are you still being off with me.. ok.

    I didn’t reply. As I feel he is testing the waters.

    Why would an ex ask do they want their stuff bagging up? Surely if u want to split. Just bag it up anyway?

    #736322 Reply

    alia

    Sweetie, the man loves you and you’re snubbing him. Just go over there, help him clean and make up already.

    #736324 Reply

    Cleo

    Hey Alia,

    I have tried to makeup he just gets upset and says sorry but he doesn’t feel the same anymore.

    I’m snubbing him because he keeps knocking me back.

    The last time I didn’t message back he told his brother in law that he was bothered that I hadn’t messaged.

    I think he needs to realise what he’s lost.

    He tells me do what I need to do but to stop prolonging it. His behaviour is different from his words.

    #736326 Reply

    alia

    I would still have a conversation with this man. This is not a behaviour of a man, who wants nothing to do with you.

    #736327 Reply

    kaye

    I’m sorry but the truth is this man is choosing not to be with you. Everyday for 7 weeks he has chosen not to be with you. If he can’t commit to you after 4 year’s he’s not going to!! It will take some time to separate your lives after 4 years of being intertwined. It will be best for you to look for a new job and to give him his things back as well as get your things. After so long together what were the arguments in the last 2 weeks about to cause this breakup? If he’s telling you his feelings for you have changed you are going to need to accept that. I don’t read anything further into your post about this than he’s feeling guilty for hurting you and trying to keep things as normal between you as possible when he sees you. Especially because you still work for him and have other business dealings with him. I suggest you find a new job as soon as possible so you can start moving on and healing.

    #736330 Reply

    Cleo

    He wanted to take a break have some time apart. I was miserable over leaving university and not enjoying the job and we was ready to buy a house but I couldn’t have my name on the mortgage for a couple years, so I weren’t ready.

    It was petty and I needed time apart to realise it.

    But I didn’t agree to the break and he said so you are forcing me into a decision? Just take the break it will be good for us.

    But I went into crying and begging and probably pushed him away.

    2 weeks ago .. But he said I could come over to his and he was stroking my hand , I asked was he tired? He said yes and we got in bed and he cuddled me and I gave him a kiss when we woke up and went and he messaged to see if I got home safe.

    His brother in law told me he’s gutted and he loves me but I need to play hard to get because he won’t know what he’s lost until your gone.

    He doesn’t come out of his room or eat or sleep. This is out of character because when he has split up with girls in the past he has not behaved liked this.

    I know he loves me and I know he was happy. But I pushed him away and I regret it. But this is my first relationship I needed to learn.

    He was even out shopping the other day and sent me a pic of stuff I use for my business and asked did he want to pick me some up?

    I hope his actions aren’t through guilt and just that he’s confused. He told all his family that we are on a break. Not broke up .. I’m confused.

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