Is his excuse valid or is BS'ing me?


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This topic contains 13 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Janet 1 month ago.

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  • #713605 Reply

    Bella

    I met this 40 year old man through a friend approx. 2 months ago. We’ve been on quite a few dates and he told me he likes me etc. but to bear with his schedule because he just started a new business and can get busy at times. Once he didn’t show up for lunch and I was upset. He profusely apologized saying he had something blow up at his business and he got consumed by the issue and lost track of time. I was mad but decided to give him one last chance.

    Few days ago we had a plan to meet. He called me an hour before our meeting time to tell me he is missing me a lot, can’t wait to see me that day, etc. and to figure out a place and we did. He said he was with two of his buddies with whom he was just finishing late lunch with, one of whom may join us and that he will text me and let me know the exact plan in a 10-15 minutes – that is whether his buddy was joining us and the exact time of our meeting. This was at 4pm. At 4:45pm when I still hadn’t heard from him, I called him. Phone rang but no answer. Later around 8pm I texted him saying if he couldn’t meet or didn’t want to, he could at least be respectful and texted me to let me know. Still no reply from him.

    Next day at noon he texted me apologizing profusely saying one of his friends with whom he had lunch left and took his phone by mistake. That’s why this guy couldn’t text me earlier. He said he got his phone only at 11:30am and so he texted me at noon. I am not buying his excuse. I didn’t respond to that text so he texted me again the following day asking how I was and crazy his schedule is. I haven’t responded to this text either. Something seems weird and perhaps he is dating someone else but I can’t say for sure. I would love to hear what other people think and advice on should I respond to his text and if so, what do I tell him. I deserve better and he is annoying me so I want to move on.

    I should mention I am not buying this guy’s excuse because during the period of the “phone being taken by his friend”, he was active on facebook. He could have easily messaged me on FB as he has done in the past if his phone was really missing and he wanted to let me know.

    Thoughts?



    #713606 Reply

    T from NY

    You already know the answer to this. Trust yourself

    #713610 Reply

    Phillygirl

    This is really simple. It doesn’t matter if any of his excuses are true.

    He is wasting your time.

    A man who is really interested, and serious about getting to know a woman, shows it in his actions and makes time for her. His actions also match his words.

    This guy is showing you he’s a flake, if not outright liar.

    I don’t date men like this. Because I don’t treat men or anyone like this.

    I would throw this one back and forget him. Not good BF material, and definitely not worth your time.

    #713611 Reply

    Bella

    @T from NY and @Phillygirl I agree with you.

    Should I end this by texting him saying “I don’t see us being on the same page so I am moving on. I wish you the best” OR “I am no longer feeling the chemistry so I am moving on. I wish you the best”?

    #713616 Reply

    Anon


    I think you should end it by doing nothing. He completely stood you up and his excuse is beyond lame.He doesn’t deserve any follow-up from you. Just ignore his texts or block him.

    If you want to send one of those texts you can (they’re fine) but I don’t see the point. He’ll probably think you’re opening the door to let him back in. Or he’ll try to argue with you or get in a final word and annoy you even more. Save yourself further frustration by not contacting him again.

    #713617 Reply

    Anon

    Honestly if you text him I don’t think you should be that nice. You don’t need to give him your reason and you don’t need to be so sweet. He’s treated you like you’re stupid and stood you up.

    You could simply say: “Please don’t contact me again, not interested.”

    #713619 Reply

    Phillygirl


    Someone who stands me up twice is too basic to deserve a reply. However, if you want to make sure he knows you are done (because he keeps reaching out), send what @Anon said, then block him.

    I would not want to be bothered with someone anymore.

    #713623 Reply

    Bella

    Thank you for the advice. I think it’s best if I ignore his messages. He deserves to be left without a response.

    #713624 Reply

    peggy

    Bella-I agree with the others-and a 40! year old man that blows you off to hang with the guys-how Jr. High of him! Never contact or answer his texts again.

    #713631 Reply

    Emma

    He takes you for a total fool, you do understand this don’t you? Do not be nice to people who treat you disrespectfully. Give yourself freedom to act the way you feel. And this will result in you not getting involved with d-bags. The more you start acting on your feelings the way you really feel the fewer the chances for d-bags getting a hold of you and dragging you into a pit.

    #713679 Reply

    henriette

    I had a 40 year old man arrange a date with me a week in advance, he confirmed the Saturday night we’re on for Sunday, he said he would be in contact on Sunday, and then Sunday came and I didn’t hear from him at all

    4 days later he texted me “hi, how’re you doing?”…. as if nothing happened. I told him I’m not anyone’s wait and see if I find something better to do girl, and to shove off. He actually got annoyed with me for it, and said he had an emergency come up and he had to rush back to his farm. I told him that’s all good and well, life happens, but then you inform the other person that the date is off, so they don’t sit around waiting for you the entire day

    He sent me a very sarcastic, i can expect a written apology from him response. I ignored him and never contacted him again. 5 Days later i did get a very sincere written apology from him

    Still, i don’t chat to him anymore and have no interest in meeting up. A man who doesn’t even have the basic respect to let me know I won’t be seeing him, isn’t a man I’m interested in

    I completly agree with you. He could have let you know in very many ways including through FB. His excuse is lame to say the least. I wouldn’t put up with it

    #713680 Reply

    Jenny

    He had other ways of contacting you like FB as you said. And if he got his phone back at 11:30, he should have been CALLING you to apologize profusely at 11:31. Not texting half an hour later. BS any way you slice it.

    No response is the best response for sure. Sometimes silence sends the loudest, clearest message of all.

    #713714 Reply

    Bella

    Yes, he is getting the silent treatment from me. I don’t need such BS people around me.

    #713718 Reply

    Janet


    I would text, ‘f*ck off you kn*b head’
    Hahaha,then laugh lots and move on! 😂

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