Is he worth a second chance?


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This topic contains 8 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Eve 1 month ago.

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  • #757400 Reply

    June

    So I just slept with a man I’m dating, and now I don’t know what to think. Initially, I wasn’t ready to sleep with him yet, as we’ve only been dating for a short while. He kept going on about how he felt that he was chasing after me, that I show too little affection etc. For my part, I just wanted to take things slower than him. In the end, I stupidly ended up sleeping with him before I felt ready.

    As I’m not on the pill at the moment, I wanted to use protection. But pregnancy wasn’t a concern for him, on the contrary, he said that if I did get pregnant, he would take care of the child if I didn’t want to raise it together with him, as he would love to have more children. All I had to do was to give birth and then I could leave the rest to him, like giving birth is just a walk in the park. This alone should have been more than enough for me to hit the brakes.

    When I asked if he’d been tested for STD’s, he seemed confounded that I would even bring it up. He even said “you and your stories” when I told him my previous partner gave me and STD in the past, so that’s why I’m extra cautious. He just made me feel overly concerned and worried, like I always find faults and make up problems. It was almost like he’s unaware of STD’s, which seems totally strange to me. After all, he’s well into his 40’s, was married for many years and has had a few girlfriends after that. When I argued that some STD’s aren’t even treatable, he just said that if he gets sick it’s the will of God. I was totally dumfounded by his reply. In hindsight, I can’t believe I slept with him after all this. He even convinced me to do it without protection for the first few minutes, but eventually he agreed to put on a condom.

    Next morning, he said he would get tested just for me, like it was some grand romantic gesture. He asked if he could now present me as his girlfriend if his friends and family would ask.

    Up until now, he’s seemed like prince charming himself. I’ve never experienced such an amount of romantic attention before and that has probably clouded my judgement. Add to the fact that all his previous girlfriends seemed to adore him and using protection was supposedly never an issue with them.

    I’ve considered ending things, and maybe he sensed it, because he’s really put on the charm. Said that I must be patient with him, that I make him want to become a better person, that he’s willing to change. I want to believe him and I think that’s the problem; that I’m not being realistic. Would I be crazy to continue dating him and give him the benefit of the doubt?

    #757414 Reply

    Louise

    UGH

    “he felt that he was chasing after me, that I show too little affection etc. For my part, I just wanted to take things slower than him. In the end, I stupidly ended up sleeping with him before I felt ready.”

    He sounds manipulative. And the baby thing? RUN AWAY!!!!

    And you? BOUNDARIES, woman.

    “I can’t believe I slept with him after all this. He even convinced me to do it without protection for the first few minutes, but eventually he agreed to put on a condom.”

    You risked your sexual health, a pregnancy, and for what?!

    No, he’s not worth a second chance. Say goodbye!

    #757419 Reply

    Better off single

    Said that I must be patient with him, that I make him want to become a better person, that he’s willing to change. I want to believe him and I think that’s the problem; that I’m not being realistic. Would I be crazy to continue dating him and give him the benefit of the doubt?

    Yes.

    He fed you lines of bs so you wouldn’t go anywhere. Stick to your guns and just back out. Run if you have to.

    #757423 Reply

    Newbie2

    If you ignore everything your gut is telling you what not to do and you do it anyway then i dont see how a bunch of strangers on the internet can make you see it right. You risked everything just because he sweet talked you into bed. And if he isnt using condoms with you, you can be 100% sure he didnt want to with other women. He isnt unaware of std’s, he is a h*rny clown

    #757424 Reply

    L

    What’s he supposed to change into? Someone with intelligence?

    #757425 Reply

    Omg

    You had unprotected sex with someone you barely know and he has never cared about STDs? Why don’t you play Russian Roulette but with only 1 chamber empty?

    #757430 Reply

    Khadija

    Please move on from this man.
    You have already caved and risked your health and creating a life with a man you don’t know.

    If this is the beginning I know it will get worse.

    Since you have a difficult time with boundaries I suggest you stop dating for a while and work on that.

    A man you barley know was able to have you throw good sense out the window.

    #757432 Reply

    Omg

    Give him a second chance for what? More sex. I’m curious how you know his ex girlfriends adored him. Did you speak with any of them?

    #757529 Reply

    Eve

    Please do yourself a favour and drop this man, he’s already shown you his true colours. I talk from experience, but you don’t have to learn the hard way. There are plenty of good men out there. And above all, don’t get pregnant with him.

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