Is he interested in a relationship?


Home Forums Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? Is he interested in a relationship?

  • This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 4 years ago by ML.
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  • #787963 Reply
    ML

    I’ve have had 5 dates with this guy for over a month now. I knew him through a dating app.

    We last met yesterday and he has asked me out again on Saturday.

    The dates have always been great, with both of us talking and laughing together. He would take me out on dates and pay for our food and drinks. We had sex on one of our dates and he commented that we fit perfectly together in bed. We will usually make out on other dates.

    He did show interest in me during the dates, by holding my hand, cuddling and kissing me in public. When messaging, he will also say that he misses me and the times we had. Occasionally, I would sext him and he would reply likewise.

    The thing is, this guy often takes like forever to reply my messages. Sometimes he would have flowing conversations with me, but usually, he doesn’t check his phone regularly and can take up to about a week to reply. I know that he has 2 phones, the other being his work phone which is paid for by the company. So he seldom uses his personal phone.

    Before our last date, I actually lost my temper at him and outrightly told him: “To be honest, I’m actually quite tired by you being uncontactable frequently and I would appreciate at least a message that you’re be uncontactable or something. if you don’t wanna talk, just let me know.” I told him he made me cry. He apologised, said he didn’t mean to make me cry, and said he had a lot on his plate right now – two of his family members just had surgery and one surgery didn’t go smoothly, also he just changed jobs recently and was struggling to get the hang of it.

    I didn’t reply him after that. The next day happened to be my birthday, which he knows since our birthday falls on the same day and his birthday is just next month. So, I got really upset that day and messaged him: “If you don’t wanna chat anymore, it’s fine. Goodbye!”

    It took him more than 10 days to reply to my message. He apologised saying that: “I understand your frustrations and I’m sorry.” He apologised a couple more times and explained that, apparently, he went to Europe for work, and was hospitalised when he flew back as he was confirmed positive for COVIT-19. He also mentioned he’s still had his family member to worry about and had work issues too. He adds that he did miss me over that period though (which I’m a little unconvinced by). He also asked how I was and that he wants to know more about what has been happening with me.

    I eventually replied to his message and told him about my birthday party and meeting some other people over that period. He then asked to meet this coming Saturday, which I accepted

    Yesterday, I mentioned that I planned to go out for a movie and whether he wanted to join me. He replied affirmatively and so we met. We did make out in the cinema sporadically throughout the movie and after the movie, he commented about wanting to have sex in handicapped toilet. I obliged, as I was also a little turned on then. (We ended up not having intercourse per se as he was too nervous about being caught.)

    After that, he suggested we go for dinner. We had a nice long dinner and he paid. He then drove me home and kissed me like he really meant it. I presume we’ll be meeting again this week as he said: “See you on Saturday!”

    Today, again, he went off the radar again. Which, again, makes me question his affections for me. I’m not trying to compare, but my exes would always message me at least a “Good morning!” and “Goodnight!”, so this guy’s attitude is a bit confusing to me.

    I do like the guy a fair bit, so it would be disappointing to end what we have. I did outrightly question him how he feels about me and he said: “Feels great, I’m quite attached with you feeling-wise.” (But I really don’t know what to think and whether to believe.) He then questioned me what I think of us and I said: “I’m feel positively towards you, I think you’re nice and caring and family-oriented (which is good in my books). However, I was ready to nip it in the bud when you disappears on me for days on end.”

    He’s apparently does not take the hint. So I’m now questioning whether I should continue with the guy or not. Please advise. Thank you!

    #787964 Reply
    cupcake

    He tested positive for Covid 19 and instead of quarantining himself he went out to the cinema AND dinner with you? Are you actually insane or just the most egoistic stupid people on the planet!I have no idea where you love but there is a pandemic going on you and especially him need TO STAY HOME!!! Even if he lied about having the Coronavirus, for whatever reason, you still need to STAY HOME and practice social distancing! Unbelievable

    #787965 Reply
    cupcake

    *live

    #787966 Reply
    Tallspicy

    Are you kidding me? Merely on the dating side, you are not paying attention and letting him lead. You are chasing him. You let a man initiate until he is your boyfriend, that is how you know he wants you. He does the work. He is not doing it now for whatever darn reason.

    But that is neither here nor there, you are either an idiot or a psychopath. Which is it? Whose grandmother are you ok killing? That is the truth. You are killing someone whenever you leave your house.

    #787974 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    I agree with what’s been said about COVID19. If he tested positive, it’s extremely irresponsible of him to be going out on dates and to the cinema! And you were very foolish to go with him and get physical. Now you are undoubtedly infected as well and you BOTH need to quarantine yourselves IMMEDIATELY!

    About the other stuff: he’s not that into you. I would suggest he’s probably seeing other women (which is sickening to think about, given his COVID 19 infection). No guy who is into you would take a week or ten days to reply to a text. Guys don’t go off the radar when they are attracted to a woman. They want to keep her attention so they make a point of texting/calling often. Certainly they don’t go a week or longer without contacting her.

    My boyfriend has 2 phones (one for work, and a personal phone)– the two-phone excuse is BS. He’s not incapable of checking messages on his personal phone. That’s a ridiculous excuse! And if he has family members who are ill, he’d be MORE likely to check his phone. So again, he’s lying.

    So the takeaways from this are: he’s not that into you, but more importantly, you both need to quarantine yourselves immediately.

    #787978 Reply
    Newbie

    Your timeline is confusing but what i can make of it is you know him for a month, had 5 dates and last 2 of them past few days. Meanwhile he disappeared a lot, whole weeks, he went to europe, contracted covid19, recovered (really fast) and went out with you. You are the one not taking hints: he is not your bf and you already started to battle him for not texting, telling him he made you cry. Thats not behaviour a guy goes for at all. You really have to learn how to date and be more patient in the beginning. You were way too intense here. The others have said enough about covid19 and social distancing.

    #787979 Reply
    Newbie

    I dont believe he was hospitalized btw. Only people who experience serious lung issues get hospitalized. They cant afford the beds to give to lesser sick people

    #787987 Reply
    Paige

    Do you REALLY believe he had COVID-19?

    I know I can be fairly cynical at times, but it’s remarkable to me that when you ask him why he hasn’t contacted you in almost two weeks, he suddenly reveals that he tested positive for COVID-19 and – amazingly – just happened to have to go into the hospital for it.

    Looking into my crystal ball, I foresee a spike in COVID-19 exposures/infections in the “jerk-guy-you-really-shouldn’t-waste-your-time-on” repertoire of “Why I didn’t contact you/stood you up/had to cancel on you at the last minute” excuses.

    And don’t think a guy wouldn’t lie about having COVID-19. The kind of guy this one seems like (and almost assuredly is) is thanking his lucky starts that he now has a new excuse to add to his tried-and-true lies.

    Open your eyes.

    #787988 Reply
    Raven

    Are you sure he’s single?

    #788014 Reply
    Ss

    I call bulls**t on covid19!

    Seriously! This is a joke right? In one month of knowing him he has disappeared for around two weeks added up. He claims to have an illness that if he had he would not be out dating.

    I’m not slut shaming but sex in the disabled loos at the movies and you don’t have a clue what you are? At best you are a guaranteed sh*g at worst you are the side chick.

    everything you’ve described made me cringe and believe me I’ve made some pretty dumb dating mistakes!

    If you are serious then my advice is bin this one- he has zero respect for you and is using you for sex. If you are cool about that then by all means continue seeing him and spreading those fake covid19 germs around! *I’m eye rolling so hard here it hurts!!!

    #788015 Reply
    Shoshannah

    Hi ML, I remember you, I think, you posted about him already, right? As I was previously, I am still pretty sure that he has a wife (or some other scam going on). I find it difficult to believe that he had coronavirus, let alone that he was hospitalized! As someone else said, only very serious cases get to a hospital stage, and if it was that serious, he surely wouldn’t have recovered yet. And then he travels, cross continents? In Europe, it’s almost impossible to travel between countries at the moment, let alone between continents – when you just had the virus! This all just sounds ridiculous. So, to answer your question, no, he doesn’t want a relationship. I’m sure he enjoys your company very much, but he doesn’t want a relationship – most likely, because he already has one.

    #788016 Reply
    Shoshannah

    And yes, the 2 phones excuse is also ridiculous. I have to different numbers, and guess what – with current technology you can have them both in one device (with two SIM card slots). But even if he’s maybe not aware of that, 10 days… come on. I’m sorry to say, but he’s insulting your intelligence with those very obvious lies.

    #788017 Reply
    Shoshannah

    Am I correct to understand that he is European, but works in the US? That makes perfect sense – the wife is in Europe. And that’s why he doesn’t have an issue with going out in public. Maybe when he disappears, it’s when she is visiting? But I digress…

    #788019 Reply
    Liz Lemon

    I’m guessing the OP is in the United Kingdom based on her spelling/vocabulary. But yeah maybe the guy has a wife/girlfriend in Europe somewhere.

    #788021 Reply
    Shoshannah

    Ah, that may be right, thanks for the correction, Liz. Still, a wife/girlfriend in wherever he travels to.

    #788030 Reply
    ML

    Thank you all for your replies. It’s a good wake-up for me and I have officially broke things with him.

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