Instagram: red flag?

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This topic contains 18 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Lara 3 months, 4 weeks ago.

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  • #754093 Reply


    Hi,so I met someone online. He recently moved to my town so we do not know anyone in common. We been talking for a few weeks and had one date over the past weekend. He seems like a nice guy, obviously I still have alot to learn about him. One thing that is off putting to me is his Instagram. We started following each other about 2 weeks ago. First thing I noticed was he followed about two thousand accounts but only 200 follow him back. When I looked through who he followed it was mostly half naked Instagram models. In the last two weeks hes followed about 50 more woman. The next thing I noticed about his account that it’s all memes about going down on women, memes about having a big dick, memes about porn, etc. None of these memes have hashtags and they seem to be liked by the same 7 people. He only had 3 pictures of himself on the account. And not surprisingly those got the most likes. He doesnt aggressively talk a out sex with me on the phone or in person. Although he has sent me some of those memes randomly, I guess to see how I would respond. But to me this seems like a red flag. I know you cant judge someone by their social media but at this point I kinda am. Am I over thinking this? Or should I run?

    #754096 Reply

    Undine spragg

    Of course you can judge someone by their social media. You are Absolutely right, hes not the most intellectual guy, Haha.

    #754099 Reply


    Social media isn’t real and I wouldn’t judge someone by it.

    That’s why I don’t think following someone during the dating process is a good idea.

    You don’t know them and are taking pieces things from social media as a part of the getting to know you process.

    #754103 Reply


    I would avoid him.

    #754109 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    The bigger red flag to me is that he’s sending you big dick and porn memes to see how you’ll respond. If I got stuff like that from someone I’d only known a few weeks and had 1 date with, I’d drop him.

    #754112 Reply


    You seriously have to ask this question?

    #754116 Reply


    I ask this question because I wasn’t sure if I was just being a bitch and overreacting. I’m new to online dating as I was married for 10 years and he wasn’t big on using social media.. Actually I’m not sure what is or isnt normal male behavior anymore especially when it comes to social media. To me it was a red flag, wanted to see how others would take it. It seems like most feel the way I do.

    #754119 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    It’s tricky because Khadija is right to a degree, social media is fake. People use it to construct an image of themselves they want the world to see, instead of reality. But at the same time, the stuff that people choose to share says something about their personality. For example if I had a date with a guy and peeked at his social media and saw he was sharing racist or Nazi propaganda or something, I would most definitely take that into consideration and stop seeing him.

    In general you should go with your gut when online dating. If something doesn’t feel right to you, it’s a good chance that the guy is not a good match for you. I would find it really off-putting if I looked at a guy’s page that I had just started dating and he had nothing but porn and big dick memes. It would be a huge turn-off. And even more so if he thought it appropriate to send those kinds of memes to me, a woman he barely knows and is trying to impress!

    #754122 Reply


    Definite yellow flag. But I am not sure how you should proceed. If you like him, keep going, but I would tell him you do not like the memes.

    #754125 Reply


    Sounds like a nasty loser. Next.

    #754127 Reply


    The time them to me he said he was trying to feel out my sense of humor. I think I have a good sense of humor but didnt exactly find then funny. As it just seemed immature and weird. He told me he was big meme guy. Which I get and do find memes to be funny. But these all have a common sexual tone. Plus all the Instagram models he follows. I feel like in a relationship I wouldn’t be comfortable knowing he is constantly staring at half naked women. And yes I’m not stupid men are constantly thinking about sex and porn is ready available on the internet. But knowing he is liking all these photos just makes me a bit insecure and uncomfortable.
    Like I mentioned I am new to this world. Is this something that is common with man now days? I should mention I am in my mid thirties this man is in his late thirties.

    #754128 Reply


    Sounds like Insta is where he gets his free porn fix.

    If he’s stupid enough to share it with a woman he’s dating, he has issues.

    I say it’s legit cause for walking away. No decent guy gets too sexual too fast with a woman he really likes. FYI, guys who send you this stuff are testing the waters to see if you’re up for easy, fast sex. If you don’t tell them off, it’s tacit permission to try it with you.

    #754129 Reply


    I know a few of these guys that do that turned out to be really insecure about themselves and that was more of an issue than this. Me personally i wouldnt mind the ladies but i would mind the sexual stuff

    #754130 Reply


    A man sends you sexual memes and you are asking if you are being a bitch? I’m not concerned about all the pics. I am concerned he is already leading with sex and that’s a good reason to keep your guard up because if he continues you know all he wants is sex. I would not tell him you do not like the memes. I would wait and see if he keeps it up. All things point to a guy with pretty much sex on his mind.

    If a man posts memes on social media for his boss and all the world to see about going down on women he has no common sense and isn’t the decent guy you already deemed him to seem to be.

    There are so many men online, why would you give a second thought to someone you already have doubts about?

    I also do not understand women who give total strangers access to their social media. You know nothing about this man. You had one date.

    #754134 Reply


    I would be completely turned off by this guy. What did you tell him after he sent those memes to you? Sounds like the kind of guy who will call you uptight if object to them. I would say a big no thank you.

    #754136 Reply

    Liz Lemon

    I agree with Zia and Omg. If the guy cares about getting to know you as a person, he would not be getting sexual this early on! A man in his late 30s knows this. He’s not some stupid 18 year old kid, he’s a grown man. He knows what he’s doing.

    And yeah I would question his common sense in general. Who puts that kind of stuff up on social media for the world to see? There are plenty of other guys out there in the online dating world. If this guy is making you this uncomfortable this early on, let him go and move on to someone else.

    #754137 Reply


    Both of us have public Instagram pages. Mine isnt very personal as its pictures of nature, travel, food, and a few selfies. There is nothing personal on my page. But does show my general interest.My Facebook has my personal life and I very picky on who I friend on there. That’s why I wasn’t 100 percent on my decision to judge him based on his Instagram page. When we talk on the phone or in text he is very polite and does not bring up sex. But he is the one who followed me first which makes me feel like he definitely wanted me to take notice of his page.
    My gut feeling is not to date this man. I find the memes and pictures of the woman to be immature. To me it’s the same as a teenage boy with bikini model posters. The more I write about this the more I see that me and him are just not on the same level.

    #754144 Reply


    Do you know how Instagram works? Often people follow you then unfollow you after you follow them, not necessary he’s the one initiate following. He could be too, though.

    So why don’t you just ask him directly? What is he looking for, especially with you? See what his answer is, and use your intelligence. Keep in mind that what a man does now, does not mean he will do it in the future.

    #754169 Reply


    Trust your gut. You don’t need a reason you can articulate. If you feel uneasy, then just tell him you don’t see this going anywhere. I wouldn’t date someone who had an Instagram account like that and sent me dirty memes to “test my sense of humor.”

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