Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Insights please…
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 1 month ago by
Lane.
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Jan
What’s going on in his mind…
Weve been casually dating since November. He barely locks time in with me. Always keeps himself very busy he rarely see’s me. When I call him out for being not interested he refutes this and says I’m being paranoid. He prioritises his world around friends and work so that I am never the first option. I walked away three weeks ago having had enough. During this time he reached out and we got back together. Why is it he acts so cold and uninterested yet when I leave he chases? To then repeat the same old behaviour. Surely come 3.5 months a man knows what he wants, invests and wouldn’t keep me on a string. In my mind he’s very low level invested, however why can’t he let me leave?
Jan
Is this a common thing guys do?
FYI I’m 31 and he is 27.
Tallspicy
This is not a him problem, this is a you problem. You are right, by now he already knows what he wants and he is half assing it. The issue is with you not him because you agreed to get back with him and you’re confused about why he’s acting so weird. Why is he acting weird? We have no idea and it doesn’t matter. This man is not giving you what you want and in three days he’s not magically change to be able to give you what you want.
If you find this hot and cold even remotely attractive, which you do because you’re still engaging with it, you should look into that. Healthy people see this hot and cold and they tell the person to go away at around 6 weeks. They do not find it attractive in any way nor do they try to convince this person to like them. You have some self work to do.
T from NY
He is not into you.
Get yourself into you.
Find your courage to never allow a guy to blow hot and cold again.
You will regret it if you continue.alia
He is an avoidant. Agree with the ladies, if you’re spending 3.5 months wondering why someone treats you poorly, the issue is with you. Walk away.
Lisa
It’s called casual dating for a reason. He doesn’t owe you anything and certainly not consistent communication. He doesn’t want to date you it’s obvious. Otherwise he would spend time with you.
He is not interested. Sure, hot and cold can be a game in the dating world. But it is normally an unspoken message from a man (they don’t like to confront) that they are not feeling it.
Sorry … you need to move on.
Lane
He’s only acting this way because its easier keeping a warm body around than having to find a bunch of warm bodies as it takes extra money, time and effort.
He’s clearly showing you WHO HE IS, a guy still enjoying his single life and having a booty call option when it suits him. If this doesn’t suit you then you put your big girl boots on and walk away from Mr. Timewaster.
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