I’m so paranoid - a new mode

This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by Tallspicy.

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January 9, 2020 at 11:17 am #782463 Reply

Donna

So my ex told me he liked my friend, he called her hot.
My friend admitted she liked him and he is her type.

Lately, and I’m not proud to admit this but I’ve been checking both their active times and they are both on whatsapp at the same time. This morning both was active at 8:13, now again at 3:22

1. How do I stop checking this
2. How do I stop feeling so betrayed.
3. Why am I so paranoid

Please help me

January 9, 2020 at 11:18 am #782465 Reply

Donna

They are always active at the same time too.

We broke up over her.
I’m super down

January 9, 2020 at 12:12 pm #782468 Reply

Vera

I’ve been there, done things like that.
It’s the worst feeling but looking back , I realize that me worrying about these things doesn’t change anything . It won’t prevent them from getting together . All it does it hurt you more . Try to enrich your own life so that you don’t care anymore .
When you say you broke up over her what do you mean ?

January 9, 2020 at 2:44 pm #782476 Reply

Tallspicy

I have an idea. Just assume they are together. I know that is really painful, but then the worst part has actually happened in your mind and you can move on.

I ask you a couple of other questions:
A. What happened that you broke up with him over her?
B. How long were you together? How serious was the relationship? When did you break up?
C. Does she know you broke up, and why?
D. How close are you to this friend?

If she is a good friend, she will most likely not really engage with him. However, depending on it has been a while – you may want to call her and simply state “I know it is none of my business, nor should I have in any say of this, but it would bother me if you date. While I know you are an adult and we are broken up, I do ask that if that happens, you let me know early so I can lick my wounds in private”

This does several things – one, it lets you know it bothers you and that you know it is a quirk of your own. It also lets her know that most likely she should only do it if it is serious. Lastly, most likely she would tell you what is going on and put you at ease.

You are totally normal. Someone I dated a year ago is on bumble and I am paranoid he will ask out my friends. Totally irrational and none of my business. But, she has seen a photo and never would.
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