I'm a dating dummy


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This topic contains 7 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Better off single 1 week, 6 days ago.

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  • #779679 Reply

    Better off single

    So when a guy is talking to 2 or 3 women and decides he wants a relationship with one, how does that process of elimination work?

    Say you have no idea he is talking to other women and it just seems like he isn’t that interested so you go on with your life having no hard feelings and then suddenly out of nowhere starts contacting you regularly. Does that mean he’s interested in something more or just looking for sex?

    #779681 Reply

    Kim

    A guys process of elimination when they are talking to a few women at one time could be the same as a woman who is talking to a few guys at once. He might consider if the girl is actually serious about finding a long term relationship or not or if you are on the same page about life i.e. children, marriage etc.

    I can’t speak for all women, but for me if I was speaking to a guy and it felt like he wasn’t really interested at first and then he came back and seemed interested my thought process would be that it didn’t work with the other prospects he had and he’s come back to me as a last resort.

    You don’t want to be a spare tyre because he can’t find anyone else sweetie. You’re better than that. You deserve someone who actually wants to be with you and can see a future with you. Don’t settle for anything less than that.

    #779682 Reply

    Ames

    How old are you guys? Sounds kind of like an immature situation..who cares what he’s doing..And why let him eliminate you? Eliminate him. Equation is solved without you guessing!

    #779683 Reply

    Anderson 

    Personally, the women I’ve been in a rship with, I never “came back” to any of them after a period of dormancy. Meaning, they were all women that I consistently pursued (even if slowly or friendly first) from the moment I met them.

    There are a few that I sporadically showed interest in over the years. All were to casually chat with, stroke my ego, fill voids of being single etc.

    Years ago on a dating site I talked to a girl briefly. We clicked well but she wasn’t on the top of my “list.” 1-2 weeks later I texted her again. And she called me out- something about how I was falling back on her. Young girl this. Like ~21. Kudos to her for standing up for herself and shutting me down because she was absolutely right. Went back to her after things didnt really take off with others.

    I’ve yet to experience or observe a scenario where anything serious develops after a period of noninterest. And I suspect that pattern exists for a reason.

    So to answer your question: interested in something more/serious? Very unlikely. But not impossible

    #779695 Reply

    Better off single

    Thanks for your input

    Yeah, with this guy, I am really starting to like him the more I spend time with him. We are both kind of stuck in similar situations and he has kind of been in and out of my life for years. I’m thinking maybe I’m just a casual thing to him or filling the void. He recently went through a breakup. So my guess is a rebound? How many rebounds do men usually have?

    I really have no expectations and nothing sexual has happened. He’s been a total gentleman the whole time. I really like his company. We’ve been hanging out more than ever and it just had me wondering.

    #779725 Reply

    Kim

    If he’s just come out of a relationship you could very well be a rebound. I don’t think there’s a clear number for anyone whether they’re a man or woman.

    You need to think about what you want though. If you’re not looking for a serious relationship and you’re just looking for a fling then it’s fine but if you’re looking for a long term relationship I wouldn’t continue to pursue it.

    I see so many women settle for FWB because they think by doing that the guy is magically going to want more than that. Newsflash! If a guy has made it clear that they don’t want a committed relationship and you’re willing to sleep with him without that commitment why would he change that arrangement for? It’s perfect for them. They get what they want without any effort at all.

    #779731 Reply

    Kim

    For the record you’re not a dating dummy. Just use your common sense. Take some time to work out exactly what it is you want from a relationship. Do you want a casual fling or a long term relationship?

    If you want a long term relationship don’t settle for anything less than that. If the guy cannot give you a long term relationship you say “you’re very nice but it’s not what I’m looking for” and be on your way.

    #779734 Reply

    Better off single

    Thanks Kim

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