I like sex but it leaves me heartbroken


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This topic contains 5 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  Emma 2 months ago.

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  • #732212 Reply

    Heather

    I’m having a bit of a problem with my love and sex life right now and I would love others’ opinions on it.

    When I was a teenager I used sex (or sexuality in general) to try to get guys to like me. I grew through those self esteem issues and though they arise sometimes I can say with confidence that I am making big progress in respecting myself.

    I have only had sex with two men, and each for a couple months regularly. Until, I got heartbroken when I realized I had feelings and they did not.

    I like sex. As so most women I’m sure. But it’s becoming clearer and clearer that I can’t have no strings attached sex. When a see a tall, handsome guy, i jump in bed with them and catch feelings. However, when a guy has interest in me I’m never sexually attracted to them. It’s like I need sec to want to date a man but I don’t want to have sex too early because then they won’t want to date me. It’s crazy.

    Not sure what to do. I’m in my last two years of college where I want to explore sexually but emotionally I can’t and on the other hand still so desperately want a loving deep relationship.

    #732216 Reply

    Raven

    1 word = Vibrator

    #732219 Reply

    Raven

    Sw itch teams…

    #732218 Reply

    Heather

    @Raven LOL a fait response but that is only a brief solution for me bécotent I get upset that I have no man to cuddle with after

    #732222 Reply

    Lucy

    You’re not alone with this one, I’m exactly the same. It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one.

    I was a late bloomer and only really started having an interest in guys at university. Unfortunately my first few sexual experiences involved a guy who promised me the World which was of course all lies (I was naive of course) and a man who did the unthinkable. This has left me using sex for approval and generally attracting men that only want sex.

    It will get better but you need to work on you. You attract what you give off – it is not your fault but a man won’t want you for more than just sex until you truly believe you deserve more, which you do!! Ive found therapy good but also investing in myself and friends also useful. Best of luck x

    #732234 Reply

    Emma

    You said you only had 2 men. But then you said this: When a see a tall, handsome guy, i jump in bed with them and catch feelings.

    Which one is it?

    If you only had 2 men, then you can write it off to bad luck and not being picky enough. But if you jump in bed with all tall good lookin guys then you are in trouble LOL

    If you are good looking yourself, then be picky. Play hard to get. It does much more good than bad, and it pays off much faster than the opposite. There is a lot of arguments against it, but I insist, if you are good looking, playing hard to get will get you a man who would fall for you. LOL

    Be engaging, tease a little, be friendly, but then do NOT say yes when they ask you. Men’s ego is their most vulnerable spot. Yo tell him NO, they immediately want you. LOL or if you put some obstacle that makes you unavailable. In my case, I am married, well…men still ask me for coffee. I joyfully say ‘can I take a rain cheque on this, I will let you know’ and then I never do. 2-3 months later they ask me AGAIN. LOL by that time I know I can wrap them around my finder if I want to. And I am not very young anymore! Married!

    So if you are young and good looking, flaunt your good looks, keep your nose up, it is better to look arrogant than shy LOL And learn to say NO. With a flirty smile LOL

    Try this and then report back to me on your results. LOL

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